Unusual item to use for murder but hey? Original at least!
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Run on Shadow's Edge
Sci-fi · ags2020b
Apparently, the other chapters are locked but it was worth reading until this chapter. Please tell me if you want me to change the review. I saw major improvements, especially the battling scenes.
Hmm? Perhaps nod enthusiastically? nod ardently? or an ardent nod, enthusiastic nod? Nod is used to indicate the movement of the head.. Perhaps you could use adjectives? Well, this is based from my experience anyway so the decision is still up to you.
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Immortals: The Curse of Samsara
Urban · Drakonous
But doesn't nod mean moving your head up and down? So, I guess it would sound less wordy if you put "Asami agreed while nodding/ with a nod." I never heard of a person who nods with their other body parts.
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Immortals: The Curse of Samsara
Urban · Drakonous
as she turned? Or am I missing something again like the previous?
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Immortals: The Curse of Samsara
Urban · Drakonous
Apologies, I guess it's correct as well. I'm used to using "to" for those kind of cases while "into" for objects and other materials.
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Immortals: The Curse of Samsara
Urban · Drakonous
Oh, I should've elaborated it, hehe. The into should be to only. Since it's more like a walking to, running to, based on the sentence structure.
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Immortals: The Curse of Samsara
Urban · Drakonous
to*
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Immortals: The Curse of Samsara
Urban · Drakonous
Blue Soul Vampire: A Light in the Abyss is a book of fiction written by redgefleming. The story revolves around a vampire named blue who wanted to torture himself to the point he challenged the human race to kill him. Unfortunately, he was sent to another world through a portal in which she met a woman who are tasked to stop a certain kind of demons from summoning the demon lord. Although the grammar is great with minimal mistakes, there are slight errors when it comes to punctuation. Some involved commas which were not necessary, but then again, they were rare. Personally, what I love about the story is the contrast between Blue and Celina. Next, the flaw of the book was that too much descriptions were being used. Too many alternatives for the dialogue tag "said" and "asked" as I would frequently see command, gasp, laugh, and if the author were to use said and asked, they'd be paired up with too much adverbs. Keep things simple with the dialogue tags. Like what Stephen King says, "While to write adverbs is human, to write he said and she said is divine." That's all I can say for now, good luck with your writing!
Sorry for the late review, I had to deal with personal issues. Anyway, I love the whole plot of the story, finished vol. 1. The characters were greatly described so I don't have anything to say about this. Grammar and punctuation are definitely one of a kind. As for th book cover, it looks fabulous! At the first few chapters it was boring but the pace slowly picks up. Honestly, I find no reason why to downgrade this book to four or three stars. Great job author!
Immortals: The Curse of Samsara
Urban · Drakonous