Apophis_
Lv 4- Joined Aug 2017
- Brazil
- Male
Sin of Sloth Sin of Gluttony Harem
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Apophis_: Author was really enjoying your story. What's the fun in killing an ant when you can play with it? Torture the way of the protagonist take your harem and then destroy your universe haahahhaha is there anything better? Author u had won a fan who loves villain stories but disappointed me hearing the opinion of mere ants that bark thinking they are in the minino dogs
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SirMemes: Mhahahahahahhaauahahahahhaha, destroy all the MC's, become the ultimate villain, destroy the world, be overpowered as heck! Muahahahhahahahaahahahah.
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Apophis_: I totally agree history started cool now it's boring mc it should be aizen style of the villainous type controller of the type that controls the world but nobody knows
King of Magic · C0
amaturewriter: personally i think its the characters...they are too normal..not that theres anything wrong if they were normal people, but here they are slaves, their attitude is the cliche anime character ****, hell you even labeled their types..the battle chick/ the noble chick/ the mysterious chick...non of their personalities match their status.
Then the MC, yes dude hides it, but dude just flat out shows his slaves he is OP, dude should've remained mysterious and ****, instead of direct show [ex; it was cool when MC secretly beat up the thief...should've kept it mysterious as to how he beat him instead of showing-also even there, that dude didnt have the attitude of a slave.
also MC personality changed, before he was [somewhat] cold and cruel/ruthless or apathetic but now its different, this change was too fast and didnt suit MC.
The chps are kinda boring, most of them seem like filler and are boring, who likes reading about training and **** ?
would've been epic if MC hired a slave and made them act as the figureheads you know, use them to secretly gain power whilst also remaining OP, and the slaves personalities, if ya wanted to build the way you did you shouldn't have made them slaves, so yah......
MC so far dosnt have any interesting cool powers, just one would've been enough. it would've been interesting to see an MC that created anime style powers like the gas abilities of ceaser from OP, or the wood style from naruto or aizen powers or some ****.
You Should have some arc, like IDK MC gaining power or some relationships build, romance or otherwise. hell you could've made some fiance BS, yes as cliche as it would've been, it still would've been interesting- some chick, ie; his betrothed bashes MC, MC later destroys her and she feel regret and yet theres no re-chance. Same could've been done for family.
Maybe allow MC meet some one [lover] and build their relationship. she could help MC, they travel and explore together....
so yah..your story is boring, theres no pazzaz...no bash...just saying what I think. I would suggest a re-write with an aizen style MC [just not mental or arrogant] who is OP and both uses his powers but also works from the shadows, manipulating everything, some nice well developed romance with some bash and face slapping, ie: people who betray/abandoned MC gets ****ed and either die or just live in regretKing of Magic · C0
amaturewriter: personally i think its the characters...they are too normal..not that theres anything wrong if they were normal people, but here they are slaves, their attitude is the cliche anime character ****, hell you even labeled their types..the battle chick/ the noble chick/ the mysterious chick...non of their personalities match their status.
Then the MC, yes dude hides it, but dude just flat out shows his slaves he is OP, dude should've remained mysterious and ****, instead of direct show [ex; it was cool when MC secretly beat up the thief...should've kept it mysterious as to how he beat him instead of showing-also even there, that dude didnt have the attitude of a slave.
also MC personality changed, before he was [somewhat] cold and cruel/ruthless or apathetic but now its different, this change was too fast and didnt suit MC.
The chps are kinda boring, most of them seem like filler and are boring, who likes reading about training and **** ?
would've been epic if MC hired a slave and made them act as the figureheads you know, use them to secretly gain power whilst also remaining OP, and the slaves personalities, if ya wanted to build the way you did you shouldn't have made them slaves, so yah......
MC so far dosnt have any interesting cool powers, just one would've been enough. it would've been interesting to see an MC that created anime style powers like the gas abilities of ceaser from OP, or the wood style from naruto or aizen powers or some ****.
You Should have some arc, like IDK MC gaining power or some relationships build, romance or otherwise. hell you could've made some fiance BS, yes as cliche as it would've been, it still would've been interesting- some chick, ie; his betrothed bashes MC, MC later destroys her and she feel regret and yet theres no re-chance. Same could've been done for family.
Maybe allow MC meet some one [lover] and build their relationship. she could help MC, they travel and explore together....
so yah..your story is boring, theres no pazzaz...no bash...just saying what I think. I would suggest a re-write with an aizen style MC [just not mental or arrogant] who is OP and both uses his powers but also works from the shadows, manipulating everything, some nice well developed romance with some bash and face slapping, ie: people who betray/abandoned MC gets ****ed and either die or just live in regretKing of Magic · C0
Super Villain System · C0
The Maniacal General with his Crazy System · C32
AverageWannaBe: Hmm. What if Averill used to be a General for Germany during ww2. When they lost, the Russians went beserk and do all kinds of things. It won't surprise me if this is what happened.
The Maniacal General with his Crazy System · C30
Annez: so hes going to be with other reincarnators ? if so im already dropping hate those kind of novels . they usual sucks and i dont want to waste time even if this one become good , its still a big chance it will fail :D , sorry .. but props to you , your writing and story telling was good not forced or anything so welp good luck ? =)
DxD: Master of Shadows · C1
The Maniacal General with his Crazy System · C24
AbsoluteYinYang: Umm, Diana is a virgin. She never progressed that far with Steve Trevor
New hero of marvel-DC · C14
New hero of marvel-DC · C14
Apophis_: I just hope that Mc doesn't lose his arrogant and evil way of being
Walking through worlds as a god · C2
Walking through worlds as a god · C2
Walking through worlds as a god · C0
TheDawnTerror: Another idea the deadpool route give both his divinity and his devourer side a form in his mind and have them pitch ideas. You know the devil and angel on your shoulder and just keep the noble pride but lose the arrogance.
Walking through worlds as a god · C1
amaturewriter: Well the MC IS Stupid OP so I like it...just dont make him a nut that just destroy and cause chaos for no reason....also build the romance and pls no wife stealing or going after moms...**: havent read you other book..is it necessary to understand this?
Walking through worlds as a god · C1
