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Original Works

  • Chaos dimensional cube

    Chaos dimensional cube

    Video Games

    4.7

    Curiosity killed the cat. Well, in this case, a human multiple times. Read as doggie tries to run from the trouble his curious mind brought him and gets stronger to overcome the challenges he needs to face to survive.

  • Life after a glass of water

    Life after a glass of water

    Video Games

    The main character finds himself stuck in a virtual reality game by accident while his mother tries to get him back from the company that created it who want to use him for research purposes.

Moments

Not the only loophole ... if yiu can soften wood with mana, shape it and then make it hard again why would you even use a lathe ... anyway it's a nice read
... View More

BobbyCSB: I am surprised that Eisen didn't craft the modern wonder called the spring. Put it as a form of suspension and they'd get a pretty smooth ride with the spring suspension able ro reduce the road knocks and even uneven roads.

If you see roads made by the romans, even those would produce a rather uncomfortable ride by today's standard. Even with a tonne of cushion under their butts.

For modern comfort: A stiff-ish spring suspension.
For immersion comfort: A nice cushion seating.

Spending My Retirement In A Game · C81
3 weeks ago
Sorry about the long wait ... after the next chapter which will influence the whole direction of the book I will try to update more frequently. View More

Gnark: Research Material
Ahem
;3

Chaos dimensional cube · C26
4 weeks ago

Mavislin11: Not much can be said for 6 chapters, but it was worth the read. The characters are good, with the story pacing being quite alright. The world background and plot are also great.

Life after a glass of water
4 weeks ago

Zehell2218: first of all make synopsis it's important. Second. From first chapter why do I only see a few dialogue? It's like narrating a story without life inside. overall the idea is good

Life after a glass of water
4 weeks ago

7Setin: + chapter pls!!!!!!!

XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP

Chaos dimensional cube
1 month ago

d3trois: This is a good story, I really like the writing. At first I thought maybe it wasn't really for me, but it kept me hooked up after a few chapters ! Waiting anxiously for the next chapter !

Chaos dimensional cube
1 month ago

chainbrain: Quite a funny and entertaining story of a man who isn't allowed to give up. This is the story of how a "lucky" find makes MC stronger. Please keep it up.

Chaos dimensional cube
1 month ago

Robbie25: Rough start for the main character, but he finds ways to adapt. Curious approach to learning for the MC. Still trying to decide how much more of the book that I will read, but think it is worth reading a few chapters to see if the webnovel catches your interest.

Chaos dimensional cube
1 month ago

Eslyna: THIS IS A CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK REVIEW AND DOES NOT PROBABLY RELATE TO THE CURRENT NOVEL'S TRUE RATING

The novel was surprisingly good. If I were to say anything, you just need to reread your chapters more and put in commas at certain places. Only typo I noticed was you put ,., somewhere at the start I think. Noticed you aren't putting in commas before ands and buts a lot.

Also for the story, its not realistic how he found the cube at that place. Countless people visit there every year, how was he the first to find and pick it up after (assuming its from ancient Greece) centuries have passed?

Also I would change up your start. Its not interesting for readers to read flasbacks at the start of a book. This is why whe there are flash backs, its always way farther into the book or movie if its poplar.

You should also consider a Prologue. This is how you grab people's attention, and interest. This is how they survive the first few chapters. I myself was not interested at the start, but I kept reading.

Now I noticed two big plotholes of your story. One is he put countless death marks, but when you jumped into levels, he barely died that much, also he only marked at the start. Then its as if his flashback persnality disapeared and his whole personality changed. As I've read a lot of books and I am also an author, I can guess that the flashback isbfor way farther into the book, but guarantee 99% didnt think that much and just ignored it or thought the book was stupid and left.

Second one are the stats, you made stat points really low, but whe MC gained stats rivaling the police officers, he was more macho and studd compared to them? Even more than that scrawny asian guy you said?

Also try to describe emotions and five senses more, was bit bland reading. Try to describe things more, and add more relatable thing so its not 2D.

Lastly I marked 3 for updates as long hiatus. I would've done two, but looking at your past record and past two days, nearly updated every day so bumped it up to 3. It would've hit four or above if not for that.

Chaos dimensional cube
1 month ago
Reading Status: C8
Writting this after 8 chapters ... Would give 4.5 to both Character design and Writting quality therefore I gave one a 4.

Main problem in writing is in changing past and present tense which is easily fixable by any proofreader in the future.

Anyway I enjoyed the story so far and maybe will read more of it in the future. Regards to the Author. View More
The Arks
1 month ago

Eslyna: Just post on forum again when you get 10 chaps, I cant say much with little chaps unless if the book is god awful, but lookng at ths you are one of the better ones that asked for my reviews for the times Ive done this before

Chaos dimensional cube
1 month ago
About comas at and and but ... grammarly says no while my mind screams yes ...

Honestly I need to reread my whole story again because of the long hiatus ... Anyway after a few chapters the whole stats and video game thing will make sense and it will also become obsolete.

Can't say I am ecstatic about your review but an honest one is a lot better than some review swaps I did where you can see he probably didn't go trough even the first chapter.

Thank you and I would appreciate if you could do my other one too. It's just 6 chapters for now so it should not take you long. View More

Eslyna: o also, probably just didn't go far enough, but you need a goal or dream for the MC, right now hr is just gaining stats but doing nothing other than leveling like an Isekai book. Please avoid that and try to add conflicts or something for the MC to use his power on.

Chaos dimensional cube
1 month ago
I will write a full review when I pass enough chapters if you could review either of my works I would appreciate it. View More

Kingkongbuddha: Thank you for your time in checking my work, i appreciate your effort deeply. Thanks for pointing out some errors, it showed you actually followed. I actually write on Words before putting them here. I have to say that some of the grammar use were intentional. Like the infinitude, I honestly didn't want to use 'infinite energy'. I wanted a word that sounded like that but more. I had two words; infinitude and infinitum. I've changed to infintum to see other reactions too, but it's going to be between these two. Please bear with me. ✌

Pathway to Eternity · C1
1 month ago
Reading Status: C5
Well, it is hard judging a book by the cover and yours especially. I read all 5 chapters that were published at the time of this review which for some authors would make them 15-20 chapters since they are quite long.

It shows you have someone to proof-read although I still found some errors and marked them in paragraph comments they were minor issues not really worth mentioning.

The stoty reminds me a bit of Library of Heaven's Path mixed in with a few other features eith a female protagonist and was an enjoyable read.

Hope the story keeps it high quality and support it will deserve if it does. View More
Universal Knowledge of the Dao
1 month ago

ursus010: I wonder if the Chinese have blue eyes? What does eye color matter? Maybe some kind of magic ability? But entertaining, the first chapter makes you read further, it is interesting! From the first sentences the author managed to captivate the reader! Respect!

Sick lungs, the mother could cure - with koumiss, steppe air, having gone to the sea, with blue hunters, with young moss - parmelia, and raw pumpkin juice. True, this knowledge became available only in the 11th and 16th centuries of our era and knowledge was transferred along the Silk Road. I wonder what time the novel is going on? Or is it a fantastic world?

Sect? Despotic father. Impulse, emotions, loss of common sense ... and here is a sect ... an immortal ... risky heroine!

Oooh .... book pervert ???????? This is definitely something new! Books have always been associated with wisdom, knowledge, and here it is like this ...

Again ranking .... like in Kinzadza ... red pants, yellow ... entertaining ... where is East, there are clans, sects, hierarchical relations, gradation ... by color, by force, by money, by power. ..

Cheating abilities ???? Magic item ????

Aah ... it's not a Tao ... it's a romance ... Tao is immense, Tao covers everything, Tao is incomprehensible ... The path of enlightenment is difficult!

This is not the typical DAO about which I read - from the Chinese author Pu Sunlin - Monks Wizards and Stories about Unusual People, author of the 18th century. The spells of the Taoists, short stories of the 17th century, Feng Menluna, Lin Manchu, Li Yu.

This is a European DAO ... but also a rather curious, understanding of DAO through the prism of the European mentality.

And this is partially reminiscent of modern stories about DAO. But still, this is not the DAO itself ... but only its imitation. Since nothing is said about DAO itself ...

The path of the cultivator is based on the comprehension of the doctrine of the path of enlightenment ... on the other hand, anyone who talks about what DAO understands, deviates from PATH, who does not talk about DAO, then he understands it.

DAO is shorter than a very tangled thing ... and probably not a Chinese to understand him 100 percent will fail.

Thanks to the author for an interesting story, it is easy to read.

Universal Knowledge of the Dao
1 month ago
I wish you could become a permanent fixture in the comments. Thank you for your input ... View More

ursus010: If there is no public control over the affairs of companies, then all sorts of dark deeds can take place. The downside of capitalism.

Life after a glass of water · C3
1 month ago
The content has been deleted
Life after a glass of water · C3
1 month ago

ursus010: If there is no public control over the affairs of companies, then all sorts of dark deeds can take place. The downside of capitalism.

Life after a glass of water · C3
1 month ago

ursus010: The world of business is cruel, the capitalist shark, as they would say 30 years ago during the Cold War ... if you are poor, then hello ... the tiger will try to eat ... if you can, of course ... but "fun and dynamic" life is guaranteed if it is feudalism, and if capitalism, that is, a chance, is still to receive compensation, if there is a good lawyer or interested media or competitors ... silence costs a lot ... and money is known to like silence.

Life after a glass of water · C2
1 month ago
Thank you. Will probably edit it at one time in the future ... Now I just write what comes to mind. 5 chapters in 3 days from nothing takes a toll especially since I wrote 3 more chapters of the other book. Thank you for your review. View More

Fiona_Singer: After Reading the first chapter I thought it would go just like another Sword-Art-Online style harem manga, but I'm glad the author chose the realistic touch instead. Corporate Social Responsibility is a trendy topic and the background information about Rowan's family can easily appeal to readers' sympathy, further adding tense to the conflict between the two sides.

What needs to be improved, however, is the writing style. There are no barriers of understanding the plots, of course, but the way of narrating is a bit too straight-line, and some information is a little too concentrated in one part of the story, which will slow the pace unnecessarily.

But these skills can be acquired through reading and practice, what I truly valued here is the originality and the courage of discarding those "popular" but cheesy, vulgar cliches, and even just for this, it's already better than 70% percent of the big hits on the front page.

Applause for the author.

Life after a glass of water
1 month ago

ursus010: I read all three chapters. The prologue was a bit tight, the plot of the action is more intriguing, the development of the action is exciting. The culmination is an intrigue, a possible experiment on a person, violent corporations ... where, life, a person is estimated in profit, loss. There is a struggle of the humanistic beginning with the mercantile interest, the usual everyday routine. It is better to remain silent and stay with the money or stand up for the unfamiliar little boy, but lose money. The struggle of the soul and mind. Usually money is taken up over conscience. But on the Day of Judgment, such a choice will have a price - fire. Is it worth it? Everyone makes the choice himself. Atheists have a concept of an inner conscience, whether a person can, while looking at himself in the mirror, respect himself or want to spit in the reflection.

The author managed to reflect this well in the game of emotions, to show the nature of man.

It was interesting to read. The author can only wish to write original works, choose their own stories, and not cliches, remakes of existing works. Since the author has a creative streak, inspiration, has a good syllable, I am sure that he will be able to write his own unique novel, with an original plot. Probably now he is just like all beginners to the author, just wants to get his hand, success in the difficult way - becoming a prose writer!

respectfully

Life after a glass of water
1 month ago

Fiona_Singer: After Reading the first chapter I thought it would go just like another Sword-Art-Online style harem manga, but I'm glad the author chose the realistic touch instead. Corporate Social Responsibility is a trendy topic and the background information about Rowan's family can easily appeal to readers' sympathy, further adding tense to the conflict between the two sides.

What needs to be improved, however, is the writing style. There are no barriers of understanding the plots, of course, but the way of narrating is a bit too straight-line, and some information is a little too concentrated in one part of the story, which will slow the pace unnecessarily.

But these skills can be acquired through reading and practice, what I truly valued here is the originality and the courage of discarding those "popular" but cheesy, vulgar cliches, and even just for this, it's already better than 70% percent of the big hits on the front page.

Applause for the author.

Life after a glass of water
1 month ago

Gnark: Jack, an introvert who was bullied and taken advantage of because of his name which means doggie.
His father was not good at handling money and made bad decisions regarding this and incurred a huge debt in which he now has to pay since his parents died.
Now he has to survive with a worsening predicament
Will it bring Jack to insanity or salvation?

I am loving the story thus far and everything's all good except for some grammatical errors but it could be cleared with an editor.
This novel can reach great heights
Author please upload more and regularly
I am willing to spend my SP here daily if you fulfill these wishes
;3

Chaos dimensional cube
1 month ago
I checked and restaurateur is the correct word sorry about that. Probably rarely used in that context since I never came uppon it. Anyway, my bad. You make really long chapters in the middle of C2 as I write this ... View More

KageMugen: I only read the first chapter which was as long as 4 normal chapters. My thought on this novel rught now are following.

The story so far is interesting and easy to read and it flows without problems.

The main problems I found is grammar, inconsistent names ( Haider, Hader, Hayder), incorrect choice of words ( restaurateurs instead of restaurant owners ... I doubt he will supply his produce to people restoring art works), could use some more explanation on unfamiliar terms such as "night gold" ... will have to google it now to find out what the hell it is.

Interesting enough your reviews of other novels are full of insight and have much better grammar than your own novel. The flow of your first chapter is probably better than in my 2 stories just that you tend to compress info into long sentences and get lost a lot of times.

Anyway, will read more when I have the time since it is an interesting read in spite of all the problems I mentioned. Hope you can find someone who edits and corrects this for you or revise it on your own.

That's it from me for now.

Magic Farmer Dara - 2nd Edition
1 month ago
Reading Status: C1
I only read the first chapter which was as long as 4 normal chapters. My thought on this novel rught now are following.

The story so far is interesting and easy to read and it flows without problems.

The main problems I found is grammar, inconsistent names ( Haider, Hader, Hayder), incorrect choice of words ( restaurateurs instead of restaurant owners ... I doubt he will supply his produce to people restoring art works), could use some more explanation on unfamiliar terms such as "night gold" ... will have to google it now to find out what the hell it is.

Interesting enough your reviews of other novels are full of insight and have much better grammar than your own novel. The flow of your first chapter is probably better than in my 2 stories just that you tend to compress info into long sentences and get lost a lot of times.

Anyway, will read more when I have the time since it is an interesting read in spite of all the problems I mentioned. Hope you can find someone who edits and corrects this for you or revise it on your own.

That's it from me for now. View More
Magic Farmer Dara - 2nd Edition
1 month ago
Well, it deserved 5 stars for the plot ... Which honestly would be a bit predictable if I figured out what VtmB meant. But still I liked it and the minor mistakes don't destroy it like with some works where they mix up words and you have to guess the meaning. View More

Fiona_Singer: Thanks! I'm Chinese actually, but I'm studying in an English-speaking country and working as a translator, too, so I presume my language is ok :p It's probably because I try to make my writing style more easy-to-read and close to daily, oral conversations, so I'm very casual about grammars XD Anyway thanks a bunch, glad you like it and give the five stars despite everything LOL

Vampire: the Masquerade - Nirvana
1 month ago
Reading Status: C3
The writting is beautiful even though there are a lot of mistakes ... well according to me and English is my 3rd language so not really confident in many of the things I see wrong. I think she's is supposed to be used for she is and not was but maybe I am wrong.

Anyway the dialogues and the interraction beween the 2 main characters so far make it flow like a river.

Seriously I can only rate it with 5 stars since World building is unnecessary and grammar mistakes although plenty are not nowhere near enough to make me want to stop or having trouble understanding the meaning. Mostly just problems with tense selection and a, an, the ...

Anyway, all fives for me. I am actually glad there are only 3 chapters so far or I would continue reading. View More
Vampire: the Masquerade - Nirvana
1 month ago
A few grammar and spelling mistakes but this intro reminded me of great classic wuxia novels with whoch I started so thumbs up. You can fix grammar and spelling but if the story is bad in itself there is nowhere to go.

It feels to me you aee wriiting on a mobile device when I read this and you use autocomplete a lot. Well, either that or you used infinitude instead of infinite energy and some other terms I was not quite happy with on purpose.

Whatever the case might be it is certainly impressive. All the authors had to start somewhere but you are far ahead of most beginners already from the start. View More
Pathway to Eternity · C1
1 month ago
Reading Status: C7
The story is not really my cup of tea but overall it is entertaining even though as mentioned before the romance genre is not what I read.

The grammar could be better but the meaning is not lost. I would suggest the use of an app like Grammarly to fix mistakes. It's not perfect but even the free version catches a lot of mistakes. I know how it is when the speed of your hands does not follow your thoughts.

I reviewed after C7 and will try to find the time to read more. Keep up the work. View More
Loved him and still love him
1 month ago
See this! I just gifted the story: Balloon View More
Supreme Magus · C110
3 months ago
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