Edric

Lv 6
  • Joined Jul 2017
  • Brazil
  • Male
  • Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink.

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    Checked in for a total of 360 days

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    2018.05.15 - 2018.06.03 (GMT+8) Claim Badge

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Moments

Well, not really a critique, but for a very down-to-earth guy, Harry sure as hell sounded arrogant saying 'he already has counter measures for every scenario' , perhaps it is just confidence, but I don't know View More
New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic · C131
1 month ago
That's some very confusiing chapters View More
Black Tech Internet Cafe System · C484
1 month ago
Don't know if it helps, but sometime ago in a discussion with friends about a magical company, we got to Sorcery Un Ltd. View More

unIReap: you really need a better name for the company

New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic · C104
1 month ago
I may be confusing different hp fanfics, but wasn't he trying to stay away from casting the Unforgivable curses? View More
New Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic · C103
1 month ago
We missed you, Author-san :) View More
Dimension System · C110
3 months ago
OMG! It's alive! View More
Dimension System · C110
3 months ago
Now, Yang Shi "He isn't my student"
Few chapters after "He isn't my student, he is actually my teacher" View More
Library of Heaven's Path · C1477
4 months ago
OMG, is that Hogwarts? I mean, a bird delivered letter to a colossal castle hidden from the world with a invitation to become a wizard. Sounds a lot like a Hogwarts letter to me. View More
Low Dimensional Game · C62
4 months ago
Exp View More

Edric: Exp

Black Tech Internet Cafe System · C35
5 months ago
Exp View More
Black Tech Internet Cafe System · C35
5 months ago
Unless, you want to of course, in that case, suit yourself, I´m not you father anyway. View More

XiaoLanRen: Obligatory warning, but don't do drugs, kids.

The Legendary Mechanic · C181
6 months ago

XiaoLanRen: Obligatory warning, but don't do drugs, kids.

The Legendary Mechanic · C181
6 months ago

Randompasserby: I stopped reading at her not trusting military/merc comrades to watch her back....but gangs does?
Fvcking hell I need to take a breather from that grade SSS bull sh1t

The Mech Touch · C316
7 months ago
See this! I just gifted the story: Balloon View More
Reborn: Evolving From Nothing · C1
7 months ago
See this! I just gifted the story: Balloon View More
The Mech Touch · C1
7 months ago
Exp View More
Transmigration Upgrade Specialist · C152
7 months ago
Exp Sect View More

Lightningblade: Thanks for the chapter

Transmigration Upgrade Specialist · C152
7 months ago
Is that Charybdis? As whirlpool sea monster and such... View More
Dimension System · C98
7 months ago
See this! I just gifted the story: Balloon View More
The Mech Touch · C1
8 months ago
Reading Status: C127
A good story, but poorly written. It's a very good re-run of a xuanhuan template story, with several of the go-to camp moves that come with the genre but with a few unexpected twists and twerks. Because of that, the world background fall to several tendencies that are natural with that kind of story but unnatural in its essence, such as the clearly demarcaded separation between states that stood for millennia but always crumble just as the MC aproaches, with no real reason for it except plot-armor.

That said, it still is a nice story and any difficulties that may arise because of the broken english are forgiven because of its qualities. View More
Transmigration Upgrade Specialist
8 months ago
It has already been said, it's a crime for the common man to possess a treasure. View More
Forty Millenniums of Cultivation · C841
9 months ago
Well, I don't know if it counts as a solution or it's a ****** stopgap, but the whole 'bread and circuses' have worked nicely in human history, even if only for VERY brief periods of time. So, maybe a rugby tournament? It would pacify the population, produce some income to both kingdoms and last but not least, help spread his 'new' sports game. View More
World Domination System · C287
9 months ago
Wow, I mean really wow. I have never seen kraterocratic been used anywhere that was not a sociology book before. View More
Seized by the System · C197
9 months ago
Reading Status: C85
Ok, I have already commented what my biggest problem with the writing is, so I will skip it here. Nonetheless, about the world building, it's the very same problem with most xianxias and xuanhuans out there: It just seem so fixed and fake.
I mean, one central (geographically and politically) place, with four reagions determined by geography in a perfect round way, with the borders all much less powerful than the center, and all those parts perfectly divided again in perfectly separated parts which are distinctly hierarchic? And all of those can be easily reached by a LARGE part of the population but there is a profound isolation between those people except in ways that helps the story? It's a pretty common setup for xianxias and whatnot, but it just seem so fabricated and fake. And even the stories which takes those questions to fore and adresses it, do in a so banalistic way, like 'hey guys, you have lived for millenia in this way that it's just not human, you know you can like, not do it, right?' and bam, everyone starts mingling like they are going to dance the kumbaya.
Despite all of that, I like it. I REALLY do. It brightens my day to read a chapter and I recommend this novel to everyone. View More
Transmigration Upgrade Specialist
10 months ago
I don't know if this caracterize as constructive criticism, but I will say it anyway, your writing style is messed up. I mean, I love your story, your different take on something usual, how you break tropes and try to put humour on your story, but your grammar is lacking, your synthax is weird and this is my greatest concern, your skips are all over the place. For the synthax part, I understand you were looking for a royal way of speaking, so you tried the super-formal, but the dialogue just flows wrongly. And the skips, you point out time skips, but you never point out a idea flow change, it's like a whole conversation it's so choreagraphed that when the first sentence rolls, the last one have already been determined, which sounds just wrong when you read it. But even if I can pinpoint what I think it's wrong, I don't actually knows how to fix it, I mean, you could ask for someone edit and proofread for you, but that would just pass the problem for them so it's not a solution. Either way, I'm sorry if I'm being a prick about, I just thought I should say it. View More
Transmigration Upgrade Specialist · C85
10 months ago
Well, you are not wrong, his actions did cause a lot of damage and him becoming the lord of sin certainly didn't help, but you are failing to recognize his motivations. Be it Linley or even Tony here, their motivations still hold to "it's for my growth" and never "just to f*ck up that guy", which according to the D&D allignment chart, caracterize them as neutral. All of this it's, of course, debatable, but currently they do not seem care about how good or evil their actions are, so I would classify them as Chaotic Neutral. View More

MoaningFrodo: Although that's true, have you read the later parts though? When he was in the World of Gods? He may be only out for himself, but many of his actions really did do a lot of bad. So he's more of a lawful evil imo. Maybe neutral evil.

The Merchant of Death · C38
10 months ago
Linley is hardly evil, chaotic neutral is a more likely description, he doesn't mind screwing badly with someone who is after him, but overall, he is only out for himself. He helped several people during the series with the explanation: 'It costs me nothing'. That's is by definition, a not - evil action. View More

MoaningFrodo: Not a writer, but I have a couple suggestions for (a somewhat) Evil MC in case you haven't read it:

Warlock of the Magus World and Overlord

The Merchant of Death · C38
10 months ago
Of course, if it serves a purpose in storytelling, it isn't tiring anymore but foreshadowing. Imagine, for instance, that he introduces a 'seer', or more specifically a oracle, someone who can ACTUALLY see the future and what little circunstances in the present mean to it, so that when it's said 'they had no idea what that meant for the future' it isn't only for dramatic effect but also a reference for some parallel plot. I think that something like this would make all those repetitive uses of that phrase instantly much more relevant to the story, don't you agree? View More

Dannymysteryman: Basically you mean as long as he backs up and has a purpose for saying it then everything is alright?

World Domination System · C232
10 months ago
It is my pleasure to give any modicum of help at all. Your story has been great so far and I have very high hopes for it after all :D View More

KillerHemboy: Hmm never thought about it that way. I realize how it can be repititive. I'll definitely cut down on it, cos regardless of whether it'll result in something great in the future or not, the repetitive feeling in the present isint worth it. Thanks a lot for bringing it to my attention! And please, never hesitate to comment on things such as these, I'm always ready to listen and improve :D

World Domination System · C232
10 months ago
KillerHemboy. under the risk of sounding like a jackass, your use of resounding and dramatic endings like 'they had no idea about how that would change the future' and derivatives is becoming repetitive. It's a pretty camp move as it can easily entice the reader, but on the other side it can be tiring when used too much. That said, I am familiar with your work so far and as such, have great confidence in your capability of using such 'camps' to deliver something interesting, so if by any chance you are using this as platform for something, great, I retract everything I said, if you aren't you should exercise caution and parcimony in future uses. View More
World Domination System · C232
10 months ago
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