Lliono

3yr

Posted

Good idea and nice nice start. The grammar, though, is terrible and I just can't read it. I takes courage to try and post though and I commend you for that. Try finding someone to help with your grammar.

Lliono

3yr

Replied to paladinStrange

nah with PTV there he would lose his teleporter immediately and then shit would really start hitting the fan.

ch 0 6 Time Passes

I quite like this story. One big minus though is the many authors notes in the middle of chapters, they completely breaks any flow you have while reading. please move these to the end of the chapter and just place a footnote.

This chapter has been deleted.

[Dropped] Avatar the Last Airbender: Fire Nations Holy Sun

Others · Seud

Lliono

3yr

Replied to SuIIy

yep it seems he regressed in every stat

ch 16 Chapter 16

The Might Of A True Uchiha {Completed}

Anime & Comics · SomeSpookyGuy

Lliono

3yr

Commented

A general rule of thumb when doing different pov is to never do the same timespan. As all rules in writing it is ok to bend this rule, but then there should be something else to not make it feel like you're reading the same thing twice. For example in this chapter you could have one pov during the vision and then another after, that would still show their different thoughts.