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Moments

I would suggest rewriting this novel with the changes you have made with the card system View More
I am in Naruto · C19
4 months ago
I think instead of buffing the enemy to Crazy levels just to make it like the original story was a bad move. I think what you should have done is made the system where he gets 5 free card picks but have it like he got too excited to have the golden finger ability and wasted his free picks and then have it where he has to work hard for the next one like killing an enemy or hard missions View More
I am in Naruto · C9
4 months ago
And it was on that day you would awake your inner Gordon Ramsay and I say this because as I was reading your review it was just like Gordon Ramsay himself for speaking these words View More

AzureWolf: This story has interesting concepts but, the grammar is really atrocious. There are other stories on this site that are even worse then this, however, I'm not going to be nice because of this. I understand that some people keep saying in the comments that the writing quality gets better at ch 18 or around ch 32. In the end I could not drag my self across the floor to reach such chapters.

One of the main points I don't understand about the author is why if he has an editor already, just ask him to redo all your previous chapters. The author is dragging away potential readers due to not editing his starting chapters.

Point 2. I feel like I'm reading a children's book due to all the sound effects. These sound effects take away from a story unless a child is reading them because most children don't know what most stuff sound like. That is why most children's books have the cow goes "moo" or the sheep goes "baa". It gives kids a 3 in 1 training. Training their vocals, reading comprehension and their understanding of what stuff sounds like.

Point 2b. As an ***** with the understanding of the English language and sounds. I feel offended when I see a written sound effect. I know what a sword sound makes when it hits something with different densities. It just irks me because its like the author is saying "This is what it sound like to me and you should believe me." No... I don't believe sirens go "siren...siren" or swords go "slice" like their talking. Even the sound effects are off putting.

Point 3: The cultivation is strange. I understand that being Original in concept is what authors should do. However, the cultivation with the steam punk vib (engine) and cultivation just don't mix well. I like the part about the soul-bonding, but, it could have been better executed.

Point 4: The animals are puppets as far as I can tell. The start of the novel it shows the personality of the creatures and that was a good start, however, right as the soul binding was completed It was like the creatures them selves don't have their own thoughts anymore. It is more along the line as the people turn them into puppets then project their emotions into their soul-bonded puppet to be more like the host.

Point 5: The MC does not have a solid goal. Yes, he wants to be in that championship thing but that does not make him insane about doing the most efficient cultivation training which most people fail at. The reason I do not believe this is due to the fact he lived a very normal life with his family. No sane person would tarnish such a thing. If the story showed he had a desire to be recognized due to certain bad pasts then I would believe it more.

There are other points I could point out. But I don't know if the author can even read English so adding anymore would just be a waste of time for me and the reader of this wall of text.

Monster Integration
4 months ago
Author I truly like what you've done so far but this was absolutely your worst chapter when it comes to pronunciation Rias is a woman she her please we do not mind waiting a little longer for a chapter I'm not asking for perfect grammar or anything like that just as long as it is mostly readable View More
A new life in High School DXD · C17
11 months ago

hitmanrebornX10: Guys it all makes sense now Cucko is Lord fifth son

Unbeatable! Invincible! Unparalleled! · C125
11 months ago
Guys it all makes sense now Cucko is Lord fifth son View More
Unbeatable! Invincible! Unparalleled! · C125
11 months ago
What is the point of the systems special Quest that give no rewards for completing them his only Power is that he is literally transforming into a nine tail fox from Naruto and he has to wait 4 minutes before he can fully maxed out his power View More
Nine Tailed System · C3
11 months ago
but in the beginning when he was in his first nine ranks before saint the only elements that he could use was wind than Earth View More

Lord_of_Winter: Linley Baruch had Earth, Wind, Fire ad Water. This is why he was able to fuse them and become a Universe Creator.

In a Magical World with an Anime System · C4
12 months ago
He still has that Lottery that the system gave him at the start right he's still not used yet View More
In a Magical World with an Anime System · C15
1 year ago
Linley element was wind and Earth not fire and Earth fire was his worst element View More
In a Magical World with an Anime System · C4
1 year ago
Skip but leave an overview of how it went for them View More
High School DXD: From the begining (Fan-fiction) · C13
1 year ago
Reading Status: C29
After reading this fanfiction up to its current chapter I can say this is absolutely a good read very interesting and I like that the rescue system isn't some overpowered thing yeah it gave him Magic but it gave him more manga material and gaming material than anything else the character interactions very good it's not awkward or anything else like that good use of characters from other manga integrating well into this world View More
Start by Becoming a Mangaka
1 year ago

hitmanrebornX10: instead of writing numbers try going down the route of the martial arts systems in cultivator novels as a base of power instead of you know he's over 500 billion power

reborn as goten · C0
1 year ago
First exp View More
Exp Book · C246
1 year ago
instead of writing numbers try going down the route of the martial arts systems in cultivator novels as a base of power instead of you know he's over 500 billion power View More
reborn as goten · C0
1 year ago
You've made a big mistake Piccolo's dead right there for kami he can't be alive anymore you're so there's no way the MC would be able to learn Kai Kai View More
Transmigrated as a Genius Saiyan into Dragon Ball <DROPPED> · C16
1 year ago

hitmanrebornX10: Now I think would be truly interested is if the Hat says he's not able to be in any of the other houses and that he is to make his own house

Taking on the Magical World · C16
1 year ago
Now I think would be truly interested is if the Hat says he's not able to be in any of the other houses and that he is to make his own house View More
Taking on the Magical World · C16
1 year ago
I would leave Ginny to Harry Hermione though I was felt that was a bit forced for Hermione and Ron to be together so I would pick Hermione to be the girl View More
Taking on the Magical World · C15
1 year ago
Exp View More
Exp Book · C175
1 year ago
Has this novel been dropped and if so that sucks because I was really looking forward to a Toriko fanfic as there are barely any on the site if none at all View More
THE Gourmet God System(GGS) · C4
1 year ago
I think you're doing a good job on pacing of the story View More
Dragon Ball: Saga Of The Strongest Human · C41
1 year ago
See this! I just gifted the story: Balloon View More
Reborn: Evolving From Nothing · C56
1 year ago

hitmanrebornX10: Personally if you going with the new story and it's going to be a fanfic go with Dragon Ball there's so many Naruto's out there but Dragon Ball is very rare to find and good ones at that

Bleach System Within Bleach · C159
1 year ago
Personally if you going with the new story and it's going to be a fanfic go with Dragon Ball there's so many Naruto's out there but Dragon Ball is very rare to find and good ones at that View More
Bleach System Within Bleach · C159
1 year ago
Reading Status: C14
Overall I give this fanfic novel a 4 out of 5 it's very nice to see a fanfic not about Naruto bleach one piece or a system anime fanfic it's nice to see a refreshing My Hero Academy fanfic View More
Boku no Hero Academia Rubber Edition
1 year ago
Reading Status: C96
I've always loved these type of novels that just easy to read kill time with while working I recommended giving it a shot if you're looking for something new and not the traditional cultivation novels View More
Shadow Hack
1 year ago
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