just a dude who likes to read light novels
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I am in Naruto · C19
I am in Naruto · C9
AzureWolf: This story has interesting concepts but, the grammar is really atrocious. There are other stories on this site that are even worse then this, however, I'm not going to be nice because of this. I understand that some people keep saying in the comments that the writing quality gets better at ch 18 or around ch 32. In the end I could not drag my self across the floor to reach such chapters.
One of the main points I don't understand about the author is why if he has an editor already, just ask him to redo all your previous chapters. The author is dragging away potential readers due to not editing his starting chapters.
Point 2. I feel like I'm reading a children's book due to all the sound effects. These sound effects take away from a story unless a child is reading them because most children don't know what most stuff sound like. That is why most children's books have the cow goes "moo" or the sheep goes "baa". It gives kids a 3 in 1 training. Training their vocals, reading comprehension and their understanding of what stuff sounds like.
Point 2b. As an ***** with the understanding of the English language and sounds. I feel offended when I see a written sound effect. I know what a sword sound makes when it hits something with different densities. It just irks me because its like the author is saying "This is what it sound like to me and you should believe me." No... I don't believe sirens go "siren...siren" or swords go "slice" like their talking. Even the sound effects are off putting.
Point 3: The cultivation is strange. I understand that being Original in concept is what authors should do. However, the cultivation with the steam punk vib (engine) and cultivation just don't mix well. I like the part about the soul-bonding, but, it could have been better executed.
Point 4: The animals are puppets as far as I can tell. The start of the novel it shows the personality of the creatures and that was a good start, however, right as the soul binding was completed It was like the creatures them selves don't have their own thoughts anymore. It is more along the line as the people turn them into puppets then project their emotions into their soul-bonded puppet to be more like the host.
Point 5: The MC does not have a solid goal. Yes, he wants to be in that championship thing but that does not make him insane about doing the most efficient cultivation training which most people fail at. The reason I do not believe this is due to the fact he lived a very normal life with his family. No sane person would tarnish such a thing. If the story showed he had a desire to be recognized due to certain bad pasts then I would believe it more.
There are other points I could point out. But I don't know if the author can even read English so adding anymore would just be a waste of time for me and the reader of this wall of text.Monster Integration
A new life in High School DXD · C17
hitmanrebornX10: Guys it all makes sense now Cucko is Lord fifth sonUnbeatable! Invincible! Unparalleled! · C125
Unbeatable! Invincible! Unparalleled! · C125
Nine Tailed System · C3
Lord_of_Winter: Linley Baruch had Earth, Wind, Fire ad Water. This is why he was able to fuse them and become a Universe Creator.In a Magical World with an Anime System · C4
In a Magical World with an Anime System · C15
In a Magical World with an Anime System · C4
High School DXD: From the begining (Fan-fiction) · C13
Start by Becoming a Mangaka
hitmanrebornX10: instead of writing numbers try going down the route of the martial arts systems in cultivator novels as a base of power instead of you know he's over 500 billion powerreborn as goten · C0
reborn as goten · C0
Transmigrated as a Genius Saiyan into Dragon Ball <DROPPED> · C16
hitmanrebornX10: Now I think would be truly interested is if the Hat says he's not able to be in any of the other houses and that he is to make his own houseTaking on the Magical World · C16
Taking on the Magical World · C16
Taking on the Magical World · C15
THE Gourmet God System(GGS) · C4
Dragon Ball: Saga Of The Strongest Human · C41
Reborn: Evolving From Nothing · C56
hitmanrebornX10: Personally if you going with the new story and it's going to be a fanfic go with Dragon Ball there's so many Naruto's out there but Dragon Ball is very rare to find and good ones at thatBleach System Within Bleach · C159
Bleach System Within Bleach · C159
Boku no Hero Academia Rubber Edition
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