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SouthHaven: Idk he should create/discover a new form of sage mode. I feel you havent showcased his other forms of sand as much. They were world renowned for surpressing the tailed beast (gold) and supreme offense/mainly defense( iron sand). Have him form a new type of sand. Incorperate his sealing techniques with his sand. Crazy things can be done with seals like the reaper death seal and tsunade seal etc.Gaara · C57
venomwave: if you want to make him at level naruto and sasuke wil be at on the 4th ninja war you really should go to more obscure techniques like yin yang release , mastering senjutsu to a level even above naruto bcause lets be honest the natural energy of the world only be used to get a boost in physical strenght? what a joke , also seals , becoming the jinchuriiki of the juubi trying to get a rinnegan or rinesharingan bcause a normal sharingan really aint gona cut it with the bull**** eyes in the late game , or trying to evolve his magnet release to electromagnetism? really, being one of the strongest in naruto world without some bull**** bloodline or without being a jinchuuriki is dowright impossible if you dont have some op technique like 3rd hokage lighting armor that made him able to fight the hachibi one o one or minato hiraishinGaara · C57
NIon: Sharingan is a no no, the simple fact of the cegera if you do not change your eyes even with the hashirama cells in addition to the curse of hate, what you could do is make him descendant of Uzumaki and give him the chains and remains of the Uzumaki clan about fuinjutsuGaara · C57
Crazy_Gamer: I actually like how you wrote he'll get the sharingan. In other fan-fics I read the reason Is soo stupid and makes no sence(sense? I dont know? I'm not a native english speaker. ) so props to you.Gaara · C57
Kreo08: Don't care till it's well written but it is too mainstream, it might be boringGaara · C57
T0XIN: If most of you think this is a terrible idea, I don't mind scrapping it, just so you know.Gaara · C57
OCorvo: I prefer without sharingan, just using what he is great and creating new jutsus its better for me. Instead, maybe gaara, with the help from system, create a new bloodline in sunagakure?Gaara · C57
Grey1902: Fantastic story kinda want him to do another where he chooses the other option that would be cool he's a great writer definitely recommend reading itI am Krillin!
I am Krillin!
TheHiddenSword: The writing quality is horrible, nothing else to say about this.
The story development .... there isn't one, there's no point in this novel.
The characters are horrible, the already made characters don't follow the original work, and are worst. The MC is simply trash, to throw in the toilet, he is dumb, scared of everything, uninteresting and so on .... As the author likes to justify, he isn't cunning or manipulative, you clearly don't know how to write these traits, or write at all. He is stupid, the other characters are simply put on such a low level that he seems intelligent. But even that doesn't work due to poor writing.
The story has no purpose, and even fails at being a wish-fulfillment story. There is no conflict, no comedy, no interesting point.
The world background isn't yours to begin with, and isn't exploited at all to begin with. Even in the original work nothing was exploited in that aspect so this novel follow the trend I guess.Reborn in DxD with OP Barrier and Enhancement Magic
Kyosei: Alright, Author here. I know most of you think this novel is a rip-off of Cultivation Chat Group. Well, to be informed, this novel was in the contest with the theme chat group. And this is the result of that. And please, I know you don't like weak MC but understand that the MC is never a magician to begin with, and does not have any experience becoming one so how could I explain him being able to defeat enemies easily? Cut him some slack because I can't just let him go to a strong individual with some cheat powers because the story would go boring too easily.
As for the world-building, I didn't bother explaining where he was located or the current situation because it was set in modern Japan. Nothing to explain too much and I don't bother emphasize it too much since it will just be stocking words with only description of the place and I know many of you hate that.
As for the chat group, its a necessary part of the story and it would be one of the key points in the future. As for goals of the MC, it's not yet decided so please wait for a bit. As for the grammar, I know I have mistakes here and there and I know that because I am not a Native English speaker so please tolerate it a bit and if there are mistakes, kindly point it to me. And as always, thank you for reading.Chat Group For Magicians
Adypoker: Yeah, the author is completely okay with letting Darkness get raped...
I had seen nothing wrong with the story up until chapter 31, and the author managed to **** it up...I don't belong to such a stupid world
Rise of House Cason · C70
Retep: I’m still mad that Harry didn’t practice turning his eyes into a basilisks I mean insta death to lord Voldemort or his death watchLord Potter Black Peverell · C34
LightningAsura: As the author of this novel, I will leave a review to summarize what is this novel about (since the synopsis doesn't tell much :")
This is the story of a person who is in despair of his disability and his awaiting death, who gets the chance to enter a revolutionary VR game for a chance to get cured.
But he starts with 9 other testers, as the only players within the whole game world, with different innate abilities that differentiates them from the common folk.
Starting as a game native, and building up his strength in this game where getting logged out equals death
**: this is my first novel here, I wish you enjoy it, power stones & feedback would be appreciated.Omni-Mastery
EveningSong: This novel was struck by the curse of the failure rabbit. It was quite good until the female love interest became a harem in training. Then all the interesting bits was buried under a pile of boring and the novel died.
Dropped as of chapter 80. Thanks for about 30 good chapters Mr. Author. I might check back in 6 months or so to see what happens.MMORPG: The Tales of Souls
Trod: This is my first review so forgive my inexperience. To begin let's talk about the world background. After years of fighting against each other, the four great races (Humans, Orcs, Light Elves, and Dark Elves) decided that instead of destroying the world in their wars, they would create a pact. This pact restricts wars between the four races in the real world, moving their battlefield to the virtual world. They created a game called "Project: Unknown" to host these battles. Our MC has just turned 16, which is the age humans are initiated to play "Project: Unknown". Background reminds me of a book called "Insignia".
So far, I haven't really come across any big problems in terms of the story, albeit we are only seven chapters in. The MC hasn't been shown to be a skilled fighter (Hasn't been in any combat yet, though he did spend a little over a month learning to use all beginner weapons against wooden dummies), nor has he been shown to be a great tactician. He has however, been shown to have great patience, he spent a month practicing with the beginner weapons, and then worked in a mine for a little over two-weeks. (1.5 - 2 months of play and he's still at level 1)
The only problem I would say I have with this novel would be the grammar. To me the grammar isn't too big a problem since you can still get the intended meaning from the lines, sometimes you might even get a good laugh out of the mistakes.
I feel like this novel can be a good read so I'm going to stick with it for now and see where it goes.MMORPG: The Tales of Souls
Azunyan: So this is kind of similar to The King's Avatar. We got our MC who made a promise to stop playing a certain MOBA if he lost and he did so he moved onto another MOBA which is League of Legends. He is great at it and that's all there really is to it rn. I mean there are some interesting characters, but they haven't really been fleshed out yet. BTW MC is in highschool 3rd year which means that he is going to a university next year. There is some conflict with his parents about his love for gaming, but I don't think it will be a plot point. Based on summary it seems like he will become a professional gamer for League. Any it was a fun read, but nothing really special. It took about 10 chapters to cover one match of league when it was being focused on so these 22 chapters should give a good dose of what to expect from the story.League of Legends: League of Unknowns
GodharemZ: OH MY GOD THANKS FOR UPDATING !!! IT WAS AWESOME IM REALLY THANKFULL !! PLZ UPDATE AGAIN!! CAN U MAKE HIM FIND SOMETHING OP AND GETS A HAREM??Fate Online: Shadow
Grey1902: Great fantastic can't wait for moreLord Potter Black Peverell · C29
Grey1902: Great fantastic can't wait for moreLord Potter Black Peverell · C29
Lord Potter Black Peverell · C29
Fafa08: This is a hidden gem. Finally i found another one of these few stories with a proper english sentence structure and properly used grammar!
At the beginning this novel feels like a western fantasy story, where the mc just comes into his power. But this feeling shifts; the novel gets more into the eastern fantasy theme with body cultivation.
Overall it‘s a very good novel: Nice magic and cultivation system, Proper English grammar, nice pacing. Thank you for this great novel.Paragon of Destruction
Reborn in the Narutoverse
Grey1902: PLEASE don't let naruto forgive them they don't deserve it for that matter neither do the sisters I mean they supposedly "love" him so much let never went to his room and one was mad that he learned something she didn't so PLEASE DON'T FORGIVE besides family is more than bloodNaruto - Neglected Sage · C15
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