NoxOriens - Profile

NoxOriens

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2018-02-01 Joined Global

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NoxOriens
Replied to AtlasStudios
First off, I do not know Mandarin, neither am I an expert on English grammar. If you find what I have pointed out to be wrong, annoying nitpicking. I do apologize. Also please have a look at my comment on ch. 93, I have pointed out some parts that I find out of place on the chapter and put it there. For this chapter, I have not reread the whole chapter since it is kinda long. However, here are some part that I do find out of place. 1. “Drumming Dharma powers” sounds weird in my opinion. It seems blunt. Maybe “Drum up” or “Rouse up” your dharma powers? 2. The blood mosquito puppets quickly determined the direction that the poisonous arrows were being shot in. The arrows were shot "in" their direction. Shouldn’t it be shot “from”? 3. On both sides of Heaven-Splitting Peak, there where more than ten figures that had escaped from the battle…. Rather than “escaped”, I think” break away” would sound more natural here. 4. They raised their drama treasures……, and smashed them at the two mountains! Shouldn’t it be “two forests” or “two mountain forests”? 5. When the thirty-odd Perfected Immortal puppets swooped down to the top of the two forests, three paper dolls charged out from the side of the forest to attract their attention. In this paragraph you use forest, that’s why in [4.] you should have use forest as well. From “each” side of the forest. Since later on you mentioned “six figures.” 6. To their surprise, the immortal weapons that were charging at them were very ‘weak’. If they were poked, they would die….. “Weapons”? Weapons die? 7. What was amusing was that …… Maybe for example; “What’s even more ridiculous is that there is nothing formidable about these guys’ self-explosions at all. They were more like an act. They[Paper dolls] might better off to just smashed them[Enemies] with an ordinary Dharma treasures of an essence immortal. 8. Then, he paid attention to the battle in the sky. Again, seem too blunt. “Then/Soon after, he returns his attention back to the battle in the sky.” 9. Next would be the second wave of operations…. [波] though it means wave, in my op, “Next, would be the second stage of the operation.”, sounds more natural. Again, I apologize if I am wrong or have offended you in anyway. I like your other translation works, especially Lotm. But this one is really stick out in a weird way in term of translation quality. [Basically since after ch.60] It was not a smooth reading for me. It might just be in part due to the author writing style as well, I don't know. Though, I did notice there are parts which seem basically the same as in Mtl. I did not mean that it was wrong to use Mtl(if you are using it); however, for certain part, if it was taken directly from Mtl, it might seem out of place. Thank you.
NoxOriens
Commented
@CKtalon @AtlasStudios I do not know Mandarin, neither am I an expert on English grammar. However, below are parts of the translation I find weird, not smooth, etc. Consider it as a discussion. 1. Human qi-trainers? Trainers? 2. He could still see their figures just now, but now, they were nowhere to be seen. Shouldn’t it be: They[enemies] could still see his[Paper Effigy(Lurer)] figure just a while ago, but now, he was nowhere to be seen. 3. Before they could do anything, they were filled with shinning stars! They were filled? Their eyes were filled, or they were surrounded by shinning stars would make more sense. 4. However, if they did not move, the killing array formations would not be able to be activated for the time being. That did not mean that they would be safe for the time being. It may just be me, but I think the translation here is too rigid, it is not smooth to read. Instead maybe something like this? “However, if they did not move, the killing array would not be triggered for the time being. Though, that did not mean that they were safe either.” 5. It’s good even though compared to incense offering he had accumulated by “accidentally”. Shouldn’t it just be [by “accident”]? Or accumulated [no “by”] accidentally? 6. Why can’t we use earth meridian teleportation array to send two heaven immortals to the sect? “From the sect” would make sense. 7. After the few of them explained in a low voice, the disciples became excited! To translate [激奋] directly as “excited” seems out of place in my opinion. Considering the situation that they were in. Are they excited to die? Excite have a positive tone, why their situation is not anything positive. Maybe: “The disciples were ignited/roused with passion to act”, would be better? I don’t know really. These are just some parts of what I find weird on this chapter. Previous chapters also have parts which I find confusing as well. Parts or even all of what I have pointed out might be wrong, and if so, I apologize. Still, when this novel was on Trail read, I really like it. However, after it got picked, the translation quality is obviously drop in my pov. I believe that the translator and/or editor is changed after ch. 60. Thus, just have him/her came back to review these recent chapters, and I believe he could tell you what went wrong. Thank you.

ch 93 The Opening of Little Qiong Crematorium

My Senior Brother is Too Steady

My Senior Brother is Too Steady

Eastern Fantasy · Get to the Point

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