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G0D1Y: somehow this isn't funny to read. come on man, At least some effective power :sONE PIECE Jazz · C12
therummaster: I just unfollowed this fic not really worth it anymore.Reborn In Marvel... · C0
Gh0st: ...... You know your really pissing me off. Everytime i think hey new chapter what do i get sure as hell aint a chapterReborn In Marvel... · C0
BlueHeart: Somewhere in the distant future...
Reporter: how many wives do you have?
Vahn:I...I....*takes a deep breath* I lost count
Okay next question, You are known to be an Emperor, but who is the true Empress?
*starts sweating* no comment
And so the True Empress War that almost broke the balance of the Cosmos began...Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos · C968
Kaosdao: Golden Snitch: "I can flap my wings at 5000 waps per second!!!"
Nanu: Holds out paw. "ha! You are but a snitch in a well! I can do over 9000 wags per second! hahahahaha!"Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos · C968
Bibon: The story you have here is good. The only thing that i might change if it was me was have him being born 6 to 8 years earlier with some kind of job that will force him to get involved with Carol and what not but the mother doing so is also a good thing.
I think the only other change i might make is with the world he has maybe not give him unlimited resources so quickly. And this change could even be installed into the story as is cause here is my thoughts. Have them be unlimited however, it requires a respawn time the only thing that is truely unlimited would be the spiritual energy.
And of course even with an unlimited amount of it without the time and hard work it is impossible gain a lot of power. With this you impart this into the story as is becuase its not like he has yet to pull enough resources to hit the soft cap much less even notice that there is a limited unlimited number if that makes sense.
The system of power i personally dont know much about having never read Desolate Era my self but i have read enough Cultivation stories to have an idea of it.
A good way to ballance the powers if you need is have there be other people cultivating also for instance Iron Fist could be considered one same with Dr Strange honestly. The shield agents are aswell just that they are pretty much pure body users and limited at that. Iron man well he is a different power system but has a similar effect even more so when he gets into the nanotechnology versions of the suit (given you add that in).
Infact now that i think about a lot of marvels characters could be considered cultivators in one way or another just that there methods are not as good as the Mcs and that also dont have access to the Energy he does.
Oh that just gave me a crazy thought. What if his personal world leaks a small amount of spiritual energy into the world around him un noticeable by anyone that starts to revive the spiritual energy of the planet which might power up some of the users of magic and other such energy?
Just a few thoughts of mine Do what you will with them.Ascending the Heavens in Marvel · C20
Li_Cangtian: #1 Stop listening to us.
#2 No harem. Ever. There is nothing worse than a douchy scumbag mc who has 15 different lovers and treats literally all of them as meat puppets. The writing around most authors harems is literally crap. I can only think of one harem that has good writing and that is E.P.I.C.
#3 Put a cap on everything(or just some things) in his unlimited world to keep him from becoming too strong too fast. Like no unlimited adamantium or vibranium untill his strength rises he can only get up to an ounce of each metal. Or he can get any plant, but there are respawn times that get shorter as he gets stronger. You already put a limit on the library so you might want to ballance out the personal world too.
#4 Start his journey a few years earlier so that he has more time to prepare, taking the softcap into account.
#5 You could give him a function in the library that lets him see his current status (dont remember if you already did this or if it was in another fanfic with the library as part of it) no levels or anything, but current skills, knowledge, and physical/mental stats like how much ki he has or his current health stat.
#6 No harem.
#7 Stop listening to us.
#8 Dont listen to us unless we are saying NO HAREM.
Seriously, since your a newer author, writing a harem is a lot to put yourself through. Harems go 1 of 2 ways. They either work well or go really really really really wrong. The stats to both are like 10% go well while 90% cause an author to drop the novel or just restart then drop like 5 chapters in because they still tried to write a harem.
#9 Keep his mom, but perhaps make her a little less dependant on her child. Unconditional love needs nothing more than to be unconditional.
#10 Remember this at all times:
THIS IS YOUR NOVEL.
I said not to listen to us, but that is likely never going to happen(feedback and all that), so remember that we are not the ones who write the story. If we have an idea you like, go for it, but do not put any pressure on yourself to incorperate everything we want.
Have fun writing your novel.Ascending the Heavens in Marvel · C20
sancturillore: Where did he say that? What proof does he have? The author has already stated many times that he would never have his stories be uploaded elsewhere, and that if we find them elsewhere then we're being scammed.
Plus, if the author wanted to upload it here, why have someone else do it?Until Death? · C1
Ryyuuuuu: You shouldn't drop it. I was looking forward to what would happen with the fights, Jins return to the village in a grand and awesome way. Like appearing on a Huge crow that covers half the leaf village. His plots on Danzo. Him and his cousins showcasing their Susanoos during the war.Naruto : An Uchiha’s Tale · C0
ShadowAria: If your going for Chinese novel verse go for coiling dragon. To many ATG, DULOU DALOU, Etc. These days. Plus CD has dragons, magic, angel and demons it's like begging you to make a story about it. IMHO the one piece verse feels forced because they have different elements than your first two story arcs.The transition of your first two story arcs feels smooth because they have the same elements: magic, dragons, and demons. Anyway it's just my honest opinion( plus my first Chinese novel is coiling dragon so I may be a little biased) plus imagining linley becoming his disciple and swallowing a drop of a dragon god's blood is giving me goosebumps( in a good way) plus grandpa doehring I know you can do something about him. If your going for animeverse go for 7DS same reason as above same elements such as magic, angels and demonsThe Strongest Omni Traveler · C0
purer: dont show nobody cares the result is enoughReborn as Naruto's Twin Brother · C71
CZ2128_Delta: Vivi!! should not break the royalty chain since he already got an empress why not get a princess next?One Piece: Death Scythe · C0
PrimalOverlord: Shalltear Bloodfallen a true vampireThe Strongest Omni Traveler · C0
Chaosking24: make a dimention to store his empire and take it with him - play pirate without showing his true Power and save ace and whitebeard resurect rojer and his wife lol their is so many optionsThe Strongest Omni Traveler · C0
nattomakki: Can you give a clue about where the other web place you put work at?? Or am i the only one didnt know? 😔😔Supreme Martial System · C252
Insert_Nickname: I'm aware that the actual author may not view this, but the problem I had with this, is not only how weak Ichigo was made, but how his character was Fairy Tail'd within seconds of joining. Firstly, this Ichigo was taken from after the fullbring arc, yet they make him seem only slightly stronger than characters from the start of fairy tail; the dude's a casual mountain buster in shikai, but has to resort to his hollow form to fight Gajeel? At the start of the series no less! Furthermore he had little to no emotional insentive to be hollowfied: Makarov was injured. That's it. Suddenly, after only three or four encounters with the man, seeing him hurt was enough to trigger his hollow form? When he's seen worse things happen to people he cares about, and has known for years, but still managed to retain control?? He isn't a fairy tail veteran, he would at best be angry and end the confrontation swiftly, but be hollowfied? Pfft.
yassertlm: Like this comment if you would like to see some really horrible scenes of brutality and gore (very descriptive)Dungeon Prowler : One Man Army · C256
yassertlm: Like this comment if you would like to see some Debauchery fueled funny momentsDungeon Prowler : One Man Army · C256
Demon Lord's Reincarnation · C22
Reincarnation Of The Strongest Sword God · C856
BlaqueLyte: Maybe if you took his family/friends along with him. Part of the fun is their behaviour and interaction with Yunan. People wouldn't like seeing the hero being stranded and alone in a new world almost like a punishment he doesn't deserve. Plus - can you imagine Debauchery in a new world? Oh, the glorious havoc and chaos they would unleash... with their unreasonable personalities, they make any authority or villain they meet go insane and hair-pulling baldDungeon Prowler : One Man Army · C223
Number One Dungeon Supplier · C109
Number One Dungeon Supplier · C28
SickWriter: This is one of those rare occasions where I can appreciate both the story AND the author!
The story itself was fairly linear to start, but that quickly changed...
Why did it change?
I'm glad you asked!
BlueLighttotheWest genuinely cares about the readers and listens to the comments. He also responds to the comments which is a nice change of pace!
Thanks to this ****** fact, a good stort became a great one!
So for those of you who are judging this novel by the first bit of the story, please take me at my word and trust that this story gets better and better as it goes on.
So then, the by the numbers review:
-Writing Quality: 4/5. For those of you doubting this, just keep reading. Our author is growing along with our MC!
-Stability of Updates: 4/5. Life happens and we're only human. Sh*t happens! When life doesn't give the author flu-shaped lemons, the chapters keep pouring in!
-Story Development: 5/5. I gave a 5 for two reasons; the first being the exceedingly fast pace at which the MC and story escalates, as well as the fact that BlueLighttotheWest listens and has enhanced the plot as he learns more about writing this sort of novel and it continues to grow magnificently!
-Character Design: 5/5. This one should be obvious to the actual readers, but for those who haven't had the chance yet, our MC is unique and has great depth, not to mention the potential for so much development! He literally starts as a baby! The only way to go is up!
-World Background: 4/5. The missing star is only the fauly of this type of story. The world changes very quickly and there is little time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Otherwise, the imagery is well done and the universe is pretty well organized.
So overall, 4/5 stars. Though to be honest, the story is only increasing in readability. There was one moment where I started to feel the story was about to go downhill. Immediately after having that thought, there was an shift in the environment which immediately brought me back in.
For those that felt this review was too long and didn't read it and just skipped to the end etc...
Read this. It's great. :)Overpowered System!
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