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ICanFixIt: Joke 2/2

A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man decided to buy her a dildo. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the *** toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass.”

The Legendary Mechanic · C65
22 hours ago
Should’ve had a bonus mission to capture the assassin. Could get some intel. View More
The Legendary Mechanic · C60
22 hours ago
So this isn’t transmigration but the mc turning into some sort of game virus? Poor guy🥺 View More
The Legendary Mechanic · C58
23 hours ago
Oh god I’m gonna rofl if he goes blind from the light. View More
The Legendary Mechanic · C52
23 hours ago
Madman died way too easily🤬 View More
The Legendary Mechanic · C7
1 day ago
Yea. I’m bored. Villains are cliche, romance is toxic and mc girl is kinda boring. I’m out. View More
Billionaire Defiant Wife · C6
2 days ago
So she’s making a scene, refusing money, and signed a contract without looking at it. Is this woman dumb? View More
Billionaire Defiant Wife · C4
2 days ago
Seems he isn’t letting her go but I’d prefer he does and sees her succeed and regret it. View More
Billionaire Defiant Wife · C1
2 days ago
I was about to say the same thing. I actually liked how excited he seemed. It was nice how helpful he was being plus I’m sure he’d be a valuable connection for a future scientist. View More

Dreamheart_Dragon: Lol, I don’t think it’s annoying when someone is passionate about something.

Scholar's Advanced Technological System · C46
5 days ago

Dreamheart_Dragon: Lol, I don’t think it’s annoying when someone is passionate about something.

Scholar's Advanced Technological System · C46
5 days ago
Guess he’s gonna play basketball soon. View More
Scholar's Advanced Technological System · C18
6 days ago
This girl is terrible. But so is the guy. I miss Zhang Fan. Too bad there are fewer chapters released for his story. View More
Scholar's Advanced Technological System · C10
6 days ago
Better move up the wedding date View More
His Genius Wife is a Superstar · C621
6 days ago
Gotta wait for the marriage first View More

_Athena_: We want Little Iris 👧and Little Liwei👦, pleaseeee!

His Genius Wife is a Superstar · C615
1 week ago
So this got me thinking. Let’s say a doctor sat next to someone they knew (let’s call her patient). Patient suddenly had an episode needing cpr but Doctor knew that patient had an std which could be transmitted through kisses. Should Doctor risk his health for Patient? If people knew Doctor did nothing should they criticize Doctor? Do they have the right to criticize Doctor? What do you think? View More
Path of Medicine With a System · C78
1 week ago

daiseeeey: Girl, fix your feelings first okay? I pity HQD if you're always comparing him to YP. They're different. HQD is an emotionless workaholic robot but with you, he became different. I wish your ship will be smooth sailing.

Mr. Tycoon's Daring Wife · C336
1 month ago

dipsu95: I don't like YP seriously. I will rather ship YRQ with that emotionless vice president. Bcz being in a less romantic relationship is far better than a toxic and abusive relationship 🤔

Mr. Tycoon's Daring Wife · C329
1 month ago
I have never been so jealous as I am now. I dream of winning the lottery and retiring and these people throw it away like dirt. If I had 10 million I’d die the next day with no regrets. View More
Mr. Tycoon's Daring Wife · C300
1 month ago
This kid is a leech. I hope his attitude improves but I doubt it will considering the warning in the summary. View More
Supreme Magus · C13
2 months ago
He’s gonna pay. The system might have failed him but it won’t fail everyone. View More
Supreme Magus · C1
2 months ago
You know I just can’t take this seriously knowing it’s all a game and the kid is actually an npc. The game world may actually be real, certainly feels like it but until now we haven’t heard anything to confirm it. View More
A Returnee Wants to Play VRMMO · C54
2 months ago
This actually happens? I’ve never been interested enough in stars to even care about their love life. And does anyone really think the stars are gonna show up and date you seriously one day? I always thought these scenes were an exaggeration found in stories. View More

_Athena_: An obssessive fan is indeed very dangerous. Such a real-life situation especially in k-pop also. When their idols are dating or no longer single, they will do all means to hate their so-called idol. 😥

Anyway, I just wish there was no one who backed up this lunatic Tian Kong for this bomb incident.

His Genius Wife is a Superstar · C583
2 months ago
Did they check Mu Lihua’s body for wires and the like? I know it’s her own store but I thought Lily was the paranoid type. View More
The Villain's Wife · C256
3 months ago

Aira_Kim: I read the announcement on discord

@everyone HI im Arrias friend, the one from before. Arria had a little attack this afternoon and shes rushd again to hospital. Shes home now but weak af. This attack is nobodys fault. She been doing good on takin care of her health and we monitoring her too. Maybe its the weather or maybe its cuz her health isnt 100% yet.

So there wont be updates for a few days. Not sure how long tho. She says something like her stockfile isnt edited so cant be posted. I cant edit for her cuz as u can see I have bad grammer. And she still weak af so she cant edit her stockfile or whatever its called. So yeah.

She says shes sorry pls be patient, shell be back and update once shes feeling better. Maybe sometime next week but well see about dat. We monitoring her cuz theres chance she might get worse but hopefully she be OK and continue to feel better.

Tnx for ur support of her novel. I giv u updates if she cant, dnt worry.

His Genius Wife is a Superstar · C560
3 months ago
Yup. Her hubby bought all the products. Maybe with Ketchup. Iris will probably be mad. View More
His Genius Wife is a Superstar · C548
3 months ago
Come on Iris. It’s on the tip of your tongue. You’re a Cross academy student too. Just let it out. You know you want to. View More
His Genius Wife is a Superstar · C545
3 months ago
If by facing the consequences you mean letting her son be ruined I can’t say I agree. If she agreed with Lily so easily I’d have to wonder how she survived this long. Lily is face front telling Yang Lina to let her attack her son to help him grow. There will almost certainly be aftereffects possible even ruining his future. Plus how does Yang Lina know Lily will back off without going too far. She doesn’t know Lily and has even less reason to trust her. If Xuan Hui needs obstacles a mastermind like Yang Lina would prefer to create them herself. Well that’s the picture I have of her anyway. Yang Lina wants her son to grow, not be crippled. View More

Adri_Jackson: I can understand the desire to protect. But she should definitely let him face the consequences of his actions

The Villain's Wife · C156
4 months ago
How long ago was Lily’s scandal again? I don’t think she’s old enough for that man who resembles her to be her son but I can’t remember the dates. View More
The Villain's Wife · C143
4 months ago
Lin Huang is like Momonga and Bloody is like Demiurge. Only LH doesn’t have to bluff like he knows everything. View More

Dosithee: I always believed that bloody should be the actual Mc. Her ability to grow and control monsters really isn't that much less than Lin's, and she's way smarter than Mc. So if anything Lin should be her monster.

Monster Paradise · C1155
5 months ago

PPSH7: Bro just stahp it ur not getting yaoi and yaoi... Is not preferred by most like u

Lord Shadow · C56
5 months ago
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