Krutch - Profile

I want you to know, your undeserved 5* review is the reason I'm not even going to attempt to read this story ;)

If this story weren't Google translated, it may be halfway decent. The poor grammar made it so I couldn't even make it through the first chapter though.

Deleted my previous review as my main issue (the spacing) was fixed (thank you for that, author! Much easier to read now). Since you took the time to do that, I'll give a real review (I know, on webnovel?! There are no real reviews here!). Writing quality still isn't the best; some unnatural sounding dialogue and punctuation. It's a bit odd though. On one hand, you take the time to describe the characters (which I like), on the other, you get lazy with some character interactions (saying 2 people have a normal relationship instead of showing how it's normal). Given that this is a fanfic, it is arguably much more important to focus on the relationships between characters and develop in that direction, since we can already picture every character (excluding OC). Seems to be updated with some frequency, which is a plus, especially considering the lack of reviews. Character design is far from the worst. Carl changes a bit (which he should! Having a sibling vs. growing up an only child is bound to effect things). Biggest issue for me is their development rate. This is a place where less detail would have been better. Mastering karate and kendo in 3 years is crazy, especially for 7-10 year olds. You could have just said they took these disciplines for a few years and advanced quickly since you want to give them a background in martial arts. Noone would bat an eye at that point if they do something involving either; being so specific about their progression makes it unbelievable. 5"7' at 10 is huge too, but not unheard of at least. Most fanfic authors seem to have this trouble of making children giants for some reason. World background: not much to say, its walking dead. Background for the world should be known if you're reading a fanfic on it. I won't make comment on story development since I've only read to chapter 4. Unfortunately, I won't be reading further than that. Story immersion is huge for me and when something ruins that it makes the story unenjoyable. I don't mean this review to sound disparaging (sorry if it does). I just figured you'd prefer a real review to see what needs to be worked on to a half assed "3 stars, not reading more" kind of review that doesn't tell you whats good or bad. If you work on this fic for a while, then decide to make a new fanfic or overhaul this one after you've gotten more experience, shoot me a message! I'd like to read something of yours thats more polished.

MC becomes unlikable about halfway through, different plots just kill whatever character development was established for him and his family. Much worse than the author's professor dovahkin story, but it doesn't really matter since author can't finish anything he starts anyway.