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I am a beginner writer, but as far as I'm concerned, this site needs a book where the main character is definitely autistic. So to make things easier for myself, I'm just going to have the main character, George, have all the same problems in life that I do. This means that any character growth that the main character shows, that is growth I myself had as well. So no stupidity to be seen! (Hopefully) The system itself will have nothing to do with autism. It will be more like a generic system, although with a few concepts added in, and a few concepts taken out, so it makes actual sense. However, the way in which George uses the system, and reacts to it, will be different from how others would normally react. Well, probably anyway. Frankly, I don't really understand how humans in general function, so I am not entirely sure how different, and so, how much it will be the same. Also, as a consequence of this, don't expect good emotional scenes. I'll try, but like, I have no emotional intelligence, so it isn't easy. If you have a complaint, do tell me what it is, and I'll try my best to fix it. Don't treat me like a mentally deficient kid with learning disabilities who can't handle criticism, I am not that. I am highly functioning and capable of interacting with others.
Edea: Hero Summoning Conspiracy · C212
HalonFox1: I love your style so I'd be happy to read a new book from youI Reincarnated As A Stick · C111
GoodEmperor: Poor Zhen Qing..
She was competing with one of "The System" (golden ring) user in food department.
*Golden ring is like a cheat like ability.
Just my assumptions
Love you panda 🐼😘😘
🤧Number One Dungeon Supplier · C116
Aspirer: I imagine, in regards to this story at least, that the time dilation works closer to VR. The brain can live longer than the body so to a certain extent, the person will experience 'longer life' rather than a shorter one. Think of it as compressed time. As far as the person is concerned, they are working at a normal speed. But if compared to their 'normal/true' reality, they are working two times (or more) faster. Like in fast-forward mode. The actual time they spent 'working' is still only 3 hours. But (in the case of Zheng Qing) it is experienced as 6 hours. So, lifespan ultimately remains the same.Number One Dungeon Supplier · C113
GoblinSlayer: MC: If you pass and decided to leave, i will fall on my knees and beg you to stayNumber One Dungeon Supplier · C113
QidanScum: I have a question about the time dilation concept. Will it affect your life span?Number One Dungeon Supplier · C113
PeakLevelTrash: Yes! Rather than luring people and and killing them, it's much better to invade others' homes, kill all those who dare defy you, steal all they have, wait for them to revive, then rinse and repeat!Number One Dungeon Supplier · C111
Behemothsroar: I am writing this because I am bored and also disappointed. I will say now that this is a true ******* novel which holds no professionalism unlike some of the gems on this site. I previously had high expectations on this novel but have relegated it to my do not read list for the following reasons. This Webnovel is a great example of both ‘catering to the masses’ and ‘pleasing only oneself’ both of which are things authors are not supposed to do, and for good reasons. the author has put in almost no effort into planning a long story and just added things that would be cool and cant be sustained as a Webnovel. This arc was very poorly planned, especially the start. You give Jin a sense of inferiority out of left field to explain his laziness. You break immersion of the world by having the mc easily accept something that based on his past is supposed to be his greatest taboo. You made the highly intelligent system create an extremely high risk plan in order to fix a small personality fault when there are millions of different ways to achieve the same results. In fact, I could even say the system caused Jin’s laziness in the first place by enabling him too much. (Lazy panda method *cough* *cough*) and in the end, nothing really changes. Back at square one with an excuse to make up wildly unrealistic things at Jin’s every whim... which isn’t really any different from the systems whim, mind you. the author obviously planned this novel as a management novel where we are entertained by the different side characters going through these various dungeons and the cool and lazy boss watching everything from the sidelines. A clear comedy genre book. But then things derailed when suggestions and improvements to the shop were applied. From the chapters right before this arc we can see that Jin is overpowered and the system is overpowered and apparently this rubbed the author in the wrong way because he ran out of interesting content. We were already at the climax. Anything else he would write would be the same as what he already wrote and deflate the entire story. To subvert this, he attempts poorly to redefine the main character’s personallity by forcing it down the readers throat through yun “you actually suck and are lazy as ****” for 2 whole chapters. And then he proceeds by making the character do exactly what his new personality he just got would do and was just warned against, then goes against his entire backstory. Let me say this again because it is important. Jin had a personality but the author decided that it wasn’t strong enough, introduced something that wasn’t prominent before, and made that his entire personality. I noticed the readers defending the author saying “well things could actually be this way” “killing all the humans might be a good thing” but the role and job of the author is to write that into the story and guide the readers to think the same way he does in which case none of those excuses are based on the writer’s writing but the readers own wild imaginations. Do the themes he introduced have merit and are thought provoking? Yes, but they also don’t belong in this story and aren’t properly incorporated. This novel with proper planning could become a great story but right now is just a project that the author is messing around with and should have a much lower rating than the first chapters. Personally, instead of this entire arc, I would have expanded the world by adding an outside threat, not an internal one. We could have gotten way more character development that way as well as a larger world that the author could base new ideas on, not to mention the difficulty is a lot lower. It would even solve the problem of overpoweredness if done properly. Or I would even just introduce a new comedic element like a suspicious police man who tries his hardest again and again to find fault with Jin’s suspicious store and may or may not succeed though if he did nobody would believe him. Literally anything would be better.Number One Dungeon Supplier · C110
HomelessOne: The idea was good, but it happened too fast. This should’ve been an arc spanning over many chapters, with Jun frettering over whether this was right or not. Have the system tell him he has no choice but to kill them, rather than as a side option to get better materials faster. Pressure him into thinking he HAS to do this. As he waits in the dungeon for an adventurer group to enter, he should be very nervous and wondering again and again if this is fine. The fight with the adventurers should’ve lasted longer, with Jun maybe in a life or death situation until he incapacitated his foe. Then he could realize how easy it is to defeat the adventurers. Give more time to him realizing part of him likes it as he forgets that he was wondering if this was good or not. Show the zither mistress getting more and more concerned as the fight progresses, and he starts being sadistic. THEN have the zither mistress interfere with the final act. Have him stand up to the system, saying he’d rather give up on being the best dungeon supplier if this is what he has to do. Then you could have the system reveal it was a test, and a necessary one too. This could’ve been nine or ten chapters at the least if handled properly with a nice sense of Jun growing up. Instead we get all this in a rushed 2-3 and it doesn’t seem to flow right. I could even accept Jun waking up in his bed in the next chapter and thinking it was all a Dream. Too fast and too unbelieving. I’ll still view Jun as the same I’ve always viewed him In previous chapters, with no growth. Knowledge for the future, author.Number One Dungeon Supplier · C110
Drakross: Omg I’m so honored by the mention, and thank you for the story so far, it’s amazing the depth and thought that was put in this, I sincerely congratulate you (sorry if my English is bad and if I misspell something)Number One Dungeon Supplier · C110
void893: Isn't this killing of innocents literally turning him into what killed his parents? I don't care that the system does it but it just doesn't seem right and as his mother there is no way Yun would be advocating the transformation of her child into a killer.Number One Dungeon Supplier · C108
HomelessOne: “Make sure to stab em in the heart or else they won’t die permanently! Remember, the more people you permanently kill, the more money you can make from your dungeon store!”Number One Dungeon Supplier · C108
dreamshard: I'm not leaving since I just got in but I must say this sudden turn is very out of genre. You even point out how he has suffered because someone murdered his parents in a world where resurrection is possible and how scarred he was and now here's choosing to inflict that same pain. Making the MC so unlikable will lose you readers when the premise was something else.Number One Dungeon Supplier · C107
snapko: Literally a whole chapter about how he blindly follows and should make his own decisions, told to go and kill people for real becasuse system "Yun" said that - follows. No thanks, that was a fun ride, but I'll step out. MC is retarded for the sake of pushing plot forward for no reason, world building, character development? nah, never heard about that.Number One Dungeon Supplier · C107
Behemothsroar: I’ve honestly never liked Jin. The setting and cultivation is very interesting, and I like the side characters. however Jin is utterly worthless in my opinion. Especially these last few chapters. He says he wants to take control of his life but he decides to start killing people against his own wishes simply because he can and he will grow faster. He normally would never consider killing for personal profit but because they are already dying because of the system and there will be no consequences for him he decides to just— once again— follow along. Simply put, he is a greedy bastard who puts on a nice guy facade.Number One Dungeon Supplier · C107
Termiii: I dont understand why we got 2 Chapters with Yun complaining that Jin follows the Dungeons Mission without thinking. Now Jin follows the Dungeon into mass-murdering Humans without thinking ...
If there are so many parallel worlds, there ought to be a world like the Dungeon-World, except that monsters are on the outside and humans are in the inside. Why not force the System to find a world where he can make soul resource by killing monsters? He neither tried, nor did he try to get more information. WTF
I hate when MCs blindly follow whatever the story (Author) lays down for them.Number One Dungeon Supplier · C107
Randompasserby: Well if you're expecting us to be impressed by his oh so grim resolve to kill people just to make his precious shop earns him more money and him stronger then yeah count me out.
Even the most run of the mill dungeon core/master stories have way more concincing existential threat to justify its murder spree.Number One Dungeon Supplier · C107
saaski: Sounds like Jin is on his way to becoming the evil dungeon overlord that a hero will need to defeat. And no, I don’t understand why you need to kill people in order to gain resources. That system is capable of going anywhere in the multiverse to get different kinds of matter and stuff. It seems like it was just too lazy to do its own mining, and so decided to open a big mouth -aka the dungeon- that people could walk themselves into. The same goes for souls. Why would you need other people’s souls to resurrect his monsters? The two souls have nothing to do with each other. And if you’re talking about life force/ energy of the living then that is something that is something that that world can already generate apparently. Just siphon off a bit whenever someone resurrects from his dungeon and voila! Nobody needed to be murdered and the system got the resources it needed.
Yun’s “reasoning” for why Jun needs to kill people is flimsy at best. And quite frankly, the fact that Jun doesn’t even really question why the system would gather resources this way makes me wonder about his character as a whole. “My parents were murdered because they were weak, so I must become strong even if it means standing on the corpses of others!” Is literally a cliche villain line.
Are we reading a story from the villains perspective? If so, alright.
Interesting even. But remember if that is the case, like I said, the excuses that Yun is giving Jin to lead him down that path, and Jin’s own reasoning are quite flimsy and cliche right now, so it’ll be good if you could flesh that out a little.
And if they’re not villainous, then you really gotta think about the moral code of your story.Number One Dungeon Supplier · C106
Sinfish: It really seems incomprehensible that the adventurers of the Dungeon World would choose to adventure in his dungeon if it's a "Dungeon of Death" when every other dungeon they adventure in lets them resurrect free of charge.
What's more, it's almost incomprehensibly immoral for him to be killing these immortals by what is essentially trickery - even if they become aware in the future his dungeon is murderous and the author comes up with some reason that these adventurers will be suicidal anyway, the adventurers the system has been killing, and what's more, the ones he's about to murder fully knowing what he's doing are not aware. It is pretty much the same thing as if a supermarket in our world randomly murdering farmers and taking their produce and then the supermarket justifying it that they needed it be the best supermarket.
Morally speaking, this is literally no different than if he was murdering his own customers in the world he's in. Actually, if anything, it's worse, because he's killing immortals.
In fact, these guys he's murdering are pretty much his customers already, in that he's running a dungeon for them to adventure in.
It's going to be *incredibly* difficult to justify why it's okay to murder people so he has better sales, especially since he's presumably about to murder them in person with his own hands. This might be fine if we've established the MC is from a kill-or-be-killed world with the blood of hundreds on his hands, but as far as I can tell, the world he lives in is even softer than a first world country in ours.Number One Dungeon Supplier · C106
Randompasserby: I feel like you're weakening your own story's premise with this development. Your risk-free, diverse, highly beneficial dungeons and the light mood is what made your dungeon story unique. The regular kill-all-adventurers dungeons are seriously a dime a dozen already. And no, killing people cuz overpopulation is just ughh...so lazy.
I don't want to tell you how to write your own story so please, proceed with caution.Number One Dungeon Supplier · C106
earldennison: Also note that as heir to the domain he is expected to do certain things and there will be political power struggles added to the mix. Thank you for seeing that mc is not perfect at all and does some things at his whim like a normal human being.Technomancer: Genesis
earldennison: Thank you for this wonderful review. You drove my point home! If someone not believing in reincarnation actually reincarnated in a world that is familiar the only thing he would have is the models he already knows as that is his basis on how the world works. Models actually are the foundation of our sanity.
Especially being an expert in the said field with numerous mental models already ingrained in the core of his mind, he would have to use those paradigms to explain the world around him to a certain extent and he can only compare it to his previous world.
It is most probably because readers on this site are accustomed to protagonists adapting to their transmigration/reincarnation easily. But they tend to forget that the protagonist I have is American and an agnostic so reincarnation will definitely be unearthly to him and he needs time to adapt. I had a review for two stars because he said my main character is stupid and does not accept the fact that he was reincarnated, forgetting the fact that it was just eight days prior to the event.
Again thank you for the review!Technomancer: Genesis
Treviisolion: To be strictly honest, this novel is still quite new so I’m not certain how things will shape up in the future but so far it seems that the MC acts in a fairly reasonable way. He doesn’t let his emotions govern his actions like many novel MCs do, but neither is he a perfect logical thinking machine.
Some people have critized that he doesn’t think enough like a scientist, I have to disagree. He conducts tests and tries different hypotheses, the disagreement comes in his resolution in sticking with the laws of physics as he knows them. Of course a truly scientific method is to always question everything, but scientists have always held key fundamental assumptions. Getting scientists to change these assumptions has always been a difficult task. In order to do so you first have to propose an alternative assumption, a task that requires thinking of the world in an entirely new way and then once you have familiarized yourself in thinking that way, you have to create all the new laws based upon the alternate assumption to be able to explain everything the old model could. Then you need to analyze the two models and determine what differences would arise depending on which one was accurate, create the experiments, and do the tests. And only after all this has been verified would scientists decide to change their worldview. In general it is much easier to explain a new phenomenon using the backing of your current knowledge than it is to rewrite your entire understanding of the laws to accomodate the new phenomenon. The former is what most scientists do, the latter is what revolutionary scientists such as Einstein do. The MC is essentially being asked (by himself mainly as he is driven by a thirst for knowledge) to either rectify the seeming violation of the laws of physics by the magic system, when he is stuck with the body and parental restrictions of a baby/toddler where so far he can’t use magic as anything more than an enhanced endo-skelton suit and advanced sensory/calculating device, or to try and figure out the laws of physics from scratch, by himself. Also, side note, none of the statements he’s made are scientifically inaccurate. You might have seen a previous comment on a binary star, please read the replies to that, he’s not saying binary star systems don’t exist, but that binary star system worlds would not behave like Earth (and they wouldn’t).
As for the actual novel, there definitely seems to be quite a bit of worldbuilding with plenty of details that are relevant, but the main mysteries are much slower going and look like they will take some time before the MC is able to find the answers, mainly as they are mysteries to most everyone. The MC is a bit overpowered, but compared to most on Quidian, it’s not that bad and even with his super baby magic might, he still prefers to use his analytical skills to win a fight than an explosion of power, plus with his current restriction that prevents him from actually casting spells, he does tend to come up with more interesting solutions than just swing sword super fast and sharp.
The only thing that strikes me as odd (though still reasonable) is why he is keeping his reincarnation a secret when all his other capabilities (such as talking at several weeks old) get exposed fairly easily.
All in all though this novel has some great potential, there are some spelling/grammatical mistakes here and there, I personally don’t find them problematic (especially as I get to read this novel for free), but grammar nazis you have been warned. Right now I could see this novel going several directions, it could go the route of RTW once he feels he is old enough to start industrializing (the MC has some ideas of doing this), it could go the Wuxia route (he is strong enough and with his understanding of physics could likely be a powerful magic user, but the author states he doesn’t want to go that route), or something different where the novel mainly focuses on the MCs quest to understand the world, with his self-improvement and industrialization attempts being mainly ways to allow himself to further pursue his goals of exploring and learning about the world (my personal prediction for the direction this novel will go).Technomancer: Genesis
earldennison: My Review was deleted somehow. Anyway, this will still be the notice board for future updates of the novel. Please like this review so that it will be on top of the review pile, Thanks.Technomancer: Genesis
IjustWanaRead: Yay new monsters for dungeons. But i am curious, does he get half a cat or the whole one?Number One Dungeon Supplier · C86
Bunny: You know, I just thought of this... but it’s a little weird that he doesn’t actually put together the dungeons. The system does, doesn’t that kind of make him not really a dungeon supplier and more of a mob supplier? He also hasn’t picked placement or specific upgrades since the first few chapters. Is that intentional or just to save time?Number One Dungeon Supplier · C86
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