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PrincessPeachfanBR: Good luck on the interview for the job author sama, we wish you luck

Supreme Magus · C423
2 weeks ago

Maromar: The writing displays a clear line of thought as far as worldbuilding and character design goes. A cataclysmic event that occurred before the story brings multiple races into close contact with each other on Earth. This at once, eliminates the justification problem fantasy writers grapple with when dumping multiple races on Earth. Of course, the easiest way is to simply state that these races have always been present, but that leans on the suspension of disbelief when authors don’t have this fact reflected in culture and technology. Mavislin11 did a good job on that front.

That’s where most of the praise must stop, however. The Arks is in a rough spot.

It begins with the basics. The text is written in such a way that it’s difficult to derive meaning in some instances, and painful to go through in others. A large part of the latter can be fixed by improving the economy of words. You ideally want to drive home a clear point in the shortest span of time possible. Take the following section:

“After the Great Noble War across the galaxies had devastated the planets within, many were left scattered amongst the other stars. As the stars started to converge and planets collapsed, the Solar System was born. The only planet that was habitable for most species, Earth.”

Every word that doesn’t directly contribute to the scene both weakens it and makes the passage heavier, causing readers to suffer from fatigue. Compare it to something like:

“The Great Noble War set the myriad galaxies ablaze. From the ashes of collapsed planets and ruined stars, the Solar System as we know it emerged. Earth would prove to be the only planet habitable for most species.”

The new sentence isn’t pretty either, but it tightens the imagery and eliminates some of the unnecessary language while maintaining the scene. It may only save a few words, but if every line of every paragraph gets trimmed, they’ll certainly pile up. A 75,000 word manuscript might feel sluggish because it’s actually a 65,000 word manuscript wearing an oversized jacket.

My advice is to go through the entirety of The Arks with a scythe. Clear out every bit of chaff you can find: “had” “started” “began to” and so on. Whenever these words aren’t crucial to understanding the scene, kill them. Deal with any redundant bits of phrasing in the same manner.
Another issue lies in the quoted selection’s placement. It’s the first paragraph of the story…

Of course, opening with exposition isn’t inherently bad, but taking up too much space with it runs afoul of the commonly cited “show, don’t tell” rule. Good writing is really a matter of “show AND tell” where knowing when to do either will determine your effectiveness. Writers with certain well-developed voices like Tolkien can get around this by managing to be entertaining even when they go on for ages, so exceptions certainly exist.

But I digress.

As it is, the beginning drags because the exposition is an infodump. The scene could be reworked in such a way that it immediately focuses on Mavislin among those in the stadium with the announcer starting the tryouts with some reference to the Great Noble War, perhaps a commencement ritual meant to keep young mages from forgetting their history as well as honoring the lives lost. The explanation of the magic system can be drip-fed as it’s displayed.

It’s of great importance that you keep a stable scene for as long as possible, novels are a completely separate medium from movies as they allow for greater depth, but that same depth can cause your pacing to veer out of control, leaving readers far from the picture you want them to see.

Even if the storyline is crap (And what I’ve seen of The Ark’s storyline is not crap) and filled with beaten-to-death tropes, if you can pull off some prose that is both clear and concise, you’ll stand several heads over the next guy. That takes rewriting and editing though. Webnovel’s constant pressure on authors to produce daily chapters isn’t healthy for writing quality or the quality of a writer’s life. Don’t feel bad for holding another release back for a few days in order to get it into fighting shape.

Most importantly, don’t be discouraged by my criticism, the story has potential. Writing is not easy, if it was, everyone would have a book out. The fact that you can come up with creative ideas rather than pointless re-hashes of yesterday’s trend means that you have the right chops. See it through to the end.

The Arks
3 weeks ago

TheSingular: The Grabd Dao of Reading and Bugs it is. I hereby welcome him to the "Bookworm Sect"! *applause*

Supreme Magus · C383
1 month ago

Dextuary: Amazing! Yours must be the Grand Dao. Oh, how I wish I would get enlightenment

Supreme Magus · C383
1 month ago
I have surpassed the frailty of my human form and read (according to webnovel) 100.26 percent of the novel. I think I can see the future View More
Supreme Magus · C383
1 month ago

MasterHaug: If Tista continue to get more and more beautiful she will become the master of the 7th element, wood.

Supreme Magus · C341
2 months ago
See this! I just gifted the story: Grimoire View More
Supreme Magus · C259
3 months ago
See this! I just gifted the story: Ring View More
Supreme Magus · C240
4 months ago

Bleedsfromeyeballs: Stockpile is a scam! Assuming normal pay wall of about 12, 5 chapters is 60 stones normally as opposed to 500. Scalling holds up for most part.

I Might Be A Fake Cultivator · C20
7 months ago

Khavos_Rudd: Ranks very very high up on my list of books to read and recommend.
Writing:
5
In truth, should award a 4 ~ 4.5 because of several minor grammar and tense mistakes spaced throughout the chapters. Won't do so because I noted the author going back over his chapters once in a while so this aspect will not be an issue for those coming late into the book.
Additionally - and I do not write about this aspect to writing - the writing style is very much enjoyable. The humor is inter-spaced with flair and there are many closing sections that scream 'cliff-hanger' only that they were done tastefully.
Perhaps this comment is best left to the char design aspect to reviewing but that section has enough to write on so won't miss out; the author takes care with his dialogues! You don't get the sense you are reading a wuxia novel - yes, I went there! Some of those dialogue scenes are so bad you are left wishing for someone to breathe in someone else's space just so the 'young master' can get offended and wipe out an entire family.
Ahem, back to the review:
As said, the dialogue scenes are well written. This is especially so with their relevance to the plot development and world background as we get titbits thrown out there that tell us more about the world and plot building up to the next arc.

Updates:
4...but gets a 5 because he is faithful to his updates.
Sure, 1 chapter a day really leaves us bleary-eyed but if you consider the care with which the story is written, you do not want to rush the guy.

Story Dev'p:
7
No cliches.
Like really, no cliches!
Even the latest arc with a class excursion into the wild where you'd expect the MC to outshine his mates was thrown out the window and stomped on.
To illustrate, think of the norm in these scenarios: a young MC with a chip on his shoulder as a social outcast goes into the wild on a school competition. A coalition of powerful scions of powerful families decide to gang against the MC for some reason never really specified but assumed reasonable - like really, the casus belli is never truly explained and instead we have hordes of enemies trying to kill the MC while the school masters join in on the fun and only interfere when it becomes clear that the spawns are incapable of finishing the job. Then the MC is forced to run away from the province while vowing utter destruction upon the school. Fortunately, the arc was not a total waste; the MC hooked up with a secret princess of a powerful family hiding out in the boondocks and while their romance it forbidden, he does not mind.
Familiar?
Yeah, none of that horse manure here!
First off, Lith refuses to go to school! We have our dear 4th wall broken - and not in that clunky manner in which the MC tells us exactly why consuming this particular resource to gain that particular effect was especially clever of them...
Finally convinced to go to school - and this is because ultimately, his cheat device is not quite omni-potent - we are provided with the saving grace of a Big Brother pocket device that shuts down 99.99999999% of the plot elements we see whenever the MC goes to an institution as a loner.
Going back to the competition, most of the class is wiped out. The school masters have designed a training program that makes sure to humiliate the students and while Lith is quite adept at leading his mates - reluctantly at that, what with him being a webpage away from being Reverend Insanity - and this is where we are at right now. No heroisms...he actually wishes to sabotage his companions and would do so but for the fact that it would cripple his own chances.

Char design:
7 [yes, another. Something wrong with the template because it limits the scale somewhat]
guy has a personality. Easy enough to do given that he is the MC. Unless it was some dry story like Lord Xue Ying where personality traits are really hard to find, any author can craft a story with some personality in their main guy.
How many have we encountered here where the side characters have considerable time spent on them? And I do not mean the 'perfumed young mistress with pale skin and blushes at inconvenient moments whenever they spy upon a warrior holding a spear', There are numerous personalities upon whom the author spent considerable effort to get us to know them with enough depth we can sort of predict their actions. These include, but are not limited to, the Count, the Marquess, several of his classmates and others.
Not many authors spend time on character definitions and enhancement and I am happy to state that this particular novel does that with spades.

World background:
5
Not much to speak on on this aspect. However, note that we know of the world not because of a massive info-dump but rather because it has been slipped into our drinks with the expertise of a date-ra-pe drug drugger.
I especially like how I can fantasize about future conflicts down the line not because the MC got tired of the starting village but rather because the dialogues and interactions tell us there is more to the world than meets the website.

Supreme Magus
8 months ago
See this! I just gifted the story: Ring View More
Adopted Soldier · C52
1 year ago

Rif: Days have passed since I started the mission and man let me tell you, it is HARD to convert people from the Nine Divines. I think I might be cursed. People just can't see the beautiful light that is of the Daedra and more specifically, the Daedric Lord of Writing! I was at the very least able to convert a small group of people in a remote village of Skyrim. After building them a brand new altar for their worship and telling them the fables the Lord has recorded they became excited and promised their souls to the Lord at the altar. Today a new chapter to the story had materialized on the altar. After reading his text, I reverently placed my Power Stones into the altar. Sadly, these villagers never heard of nor seen the Power Stones in their life. I guess only the Chosen have possession of these stones. After reading the gathering was over, I continued my mission.

Dragonborn Saga · C188
1 year ago

TrueImmortalDevil: What is Sin City?

Dragonborn Saga · C188
1 year ago

DAFR: Thank you very much I really appreciate your opinion and I will definitely download the app

never trust the system · C3
1 year ago
I'm glad that you have started writing again! Here is a tip from me: there is a free software for your phone and pc called grammarly which is like autocorrect, but it also corrects your grammar,punctuation and gives you synonyms too. It is very usefull and will help you a ton(hopefully). View More
never trust the system · C3
1 year ago

Jumin: Will this be a harem novel
(Plz plz say no)

True King of the Pirates · C96
1 year ago

Vishapakagh: Will you be writing another timeskip? Its alright that the MC is all that strong an everything with only 14, but I honestly can't really relate with him sometimes. He's really immature which could be because this novel originates from the One Piece novel in which the MC is immature as well. Also if there is a love interest I want him to be old enough to have a relationship.
Also another question: What is your general wordcount per chapter?

True King of the Pirates · C96
1 year ago

Safir_Himmel: Will the story go outside the One Piece world?

True King of the Pirates · C96
1 year ago

H4ves: otherworldly powers will be usable? like jutsus from naruto or chackra,or any form of cultivation?

True King of the Pirates · C96
1 year ago

heavenlydogdog: I want to know about bloodlines( a vague explanation will do)
How many devil fruits will ori have

True King of the Pirates · C96
1 year ago

PrimalFire: Will there be a harem and will Orion become more mature as the story continues

True King of the Pirates · C96
1 year ago

stupidwanker: Foreshadowing a cliffhanger? ZombieSpy has reached the top. He has mastered the Author profession.

How Can You Call Me a Cheater? · C65
1 year ago

stupidwanker: Foreshadowing a cliffhanger? ZombieSpy has reached the top. He has mastered the Author profession.

How Can You Call Me a Cheater? · C65
1 year ago

stupidwanker: Foreshadowing a cliffhanger? ZombieSpy has reached the top. He has mastered the Author profession.

How Can You Call Me a Cheater? · C65
1 year ago
Foreshadowing a cliffhanger? ZombieSpy has reached the top. He has mastered the Author profession. View More
How Can You Call Me a Cheater? · C65
1 year ago
Finally. Have been waiting for this for a long time. View More
The Strongest Otaku · C0
1 year ago
Get well soon. View More
Unlimited level up · C13
1 year ago
The concept sounds interesting.But sadly you have only uploaded like 5 sentences. You should have written some chapters beforehand and then uploaded it. Still added it to my librarie because I have high hopes. View More
Cultivating In The Marvel World · C1
1 year ago
After I saw micheal from Vsauce I thought that I finally knew what the perfect human body looks like.But this cover has proven me wrong View More

BingeReading: 5 stars for that godly cover.
5 stars for that godly cover.
5 stars for that godly cover.
5 stars for that godly cover.
5 stars for that godly cover.
5 stars for that godly cover.
5 stars for that godly cover.

Ancient Cultivator in Modern World
1 year ago
Reading Status: C14
I think that the prolouge needs to be a lot shorter. It's just too detailed and long for something that will be unimportant for a big part of the novel. It would have been enough if you just wrote about him being very experienced in fighting, a short summary of his life and then the way he died.But that is only the prolouge and the rest(till now) is actually pretty interesting and well written.Even though I sometimes can't picture what the autor is trying to show me.For example I just can not imagine a 6 year old kid playfully punching someones arm who is around 40cm taller than him while he is lying/sitting on his bed and the victim of that gruesome and violent punch is standing in front of him. This review akes it sound like I really hates this novel, but in actuality I'm in love with this novel. While there are things I don't like about this novel they are only minor and the things I like about this novel heavily outweighs what I don't like abou it. For example that the titel actually answers a question which I had in the beginning, or that you can theorise about what is actaually happening, or who these mysterious characters are. Often light novels just do not give you a damn clue till the genius MC finds the answer to the question. View More
Webnovel refuses to remove novels upon author request. They don't own the content!!! Respect your terms of publishing, you webnovel fucks.3
1 year ago
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