Checked in for a total of 180 days
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BlackOni: You know I realize something is like a black hole a law or like time, or even space,maybe even gravity.The Law God - Artic · C7
MilkGod: MilkGod's Fact: On average 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
I'm traveling right now, got to go to a funeral. So yep, facts may be in hold.
Reili, will there ever be privileged chapters (hopefully no), cause I can't afford for those. I've spent about 40 dollars irl in one week & a half (I'm an addict, I know).Nanomancer Reborn - I've Become A Snow Girl? · C122
Nova Roma · C3
skyknight: Romans do not have golden hair and pure white complexion those are traits of nords especially inhabitants of Norway, Sweden and Finland. Romans have Black hair and tan skin.Nova Roma · C2
Nova Roma · C1
StehlQue: I need to read more history and mythology. Being from America really suxx when it comes to being taught about other cultures and their origins.Legend of the Mythological Genes · C200
Legend of the Mythological Genes
Legend of the Mythological Genes · C162
Eerii: Actually it's not all about china being superior, your exaggerating, I've only seen like a few times where it mentions it, and even then, who cares? Its a chinese novel that was written for chinese people, so the author catered to the consumers. And chinese are pretty patriotic, just like most countries, even if people don't say it alot will still think the country they're born in is pretty great. If you don't like it, just give a proper review, don't exaggerate the factsLegend of the Mythological Genes
Reborn in My Hero Academia with Superman powers · C1
Wakanda42: Ok part 2
So the store is really bland and leaves a lot to the readers imagination. You should show more items of what the MC can buy or just show what the top tier items look like. If you ever want to add more top tier items or change their prices you can just level up the store or his access to it. This is something you can fix but should have anyway. The MC level growth is way to fast and unless you add more to the power level or just continue to delay his growth (which is starting to get annoying btw) then your gonna run into problems. What you should have done (*OPINION WARNING) was make his OPness come from his skills not his growth (his skills are OP to but there more OP in a exotic sense than a traditional sense) Give him a sword style skill, give him an magic skill(Domain doesn’t count) just give him a bunch of skills and make his training about using those correctly and leveling them up more than reflexes (he trained with that blacksmith lady for months and barely any skills improved from her training) also make the average adventurer a lot stronger than they were in the anime (Not level wise but skill, reaction and instinct wise. I mean they do life and death dungeon dives everyday so they got to learn something) or just make Oraria a really weak city compared to others and use the reason why none of the chief gods or powerful (I mean they’re best familias are tricksters, beauty and forging) gods are there.
You wasted Waaaay to much time on Anubis and her familia and it contributes nothing to the overall plot except adding Naaza to the harem(which was also a weird chose and it seems like she won’t be a big plot character either but O digress).
You do this thing where you make a female character almost instantly join his harem and afterward you explore her backstory or sometimes even personality. It’s becoming really hard to like non cannon characters because of this especially because their backstory and talent are both really weak.
You just came out with some new chapters so I’m gonna just end this here and make a Pt 3. Last thing which I really want to stress is worldbuild more. Danmachi has so much to add in world building and you can do so much with it. His talent is breathtaking in Oraria but how does he compare to demigods (even bell was only 25% god) or even young godlings themselves (IK you just did this whole thing about goddesses can’t get pregnant but demigods do exist and you can add something like when goddesses get pregant in the mortal world they have to leave for a long time or something. Anyhow Just make the world a bigger place outside of the MCEndless Path : Infinite Cosmos
Wakanda42: So first and foremost I would like to say I enjoyed this story very much and it’s one of the best non naruto fanfics I’ve ever read (I guess that’s not saying much because 75% of all fanfics are naruto but still this is really gooe). Now on to the critiques. First I will admit after reading the first few chapters I dropped this for a while and the main for this for this is because in the first few chapters you changed this from a danmachi Fanfic to a fanfic about a character who travels anime worlds. Now first this isn’t a good for me as a reader because this type of fanfic always gets dropped and second and also the most important one is because fanfics general require knowledge about the source material and as readers we normally only read fanfics about worlds we know or like. Im assuming that most people who’ve read this are danmachi fans but if the starts to become a fairy tail fanfic to suddenly your cutting your readers to people who’ve seen danmachi and fairy tail. Anyhow I know that he wasn’t gone to another world yet and I’m fine with the MC going to other worlds for a little bit but you put a hard cap on what the MC can achieve in Danmachi (soul tier 1-4) which means eventually in the story the MC will have to go to another anime world and that will be a big part of the plot. Sooner or later this won’t be a danmachi fanfic any longer. IK that danmachi is very ****** in levels and power and it’s hard to make an OP MC using their system but making him go to other worlds to escape this seems like a cop out on the authors part. The original work has almost no world building and you could use that to make your character OP. You can make more cities with Adventures higher than level 7. You can hostile continents, evil gods etc. Oraria is a revolves around the dungeon but they’re “Adventures” not “dungeon divers” so you can easily add more adventuring stuff in the plot outside of dungeons or you can talk about what happened with Zeus and Hera familia and use that as a reason why there’s no level 8+ adventures in Oraria. Also you can add realms to that powerful adventures go to once they meet certain requirements. Anyhow you can make the power ladder longer without sending him to different worlds(plus you’re already running out of souce material and you haven’t even gotten to the start of the anime so you’re already pretty much making your own story at this point) I feel like my last sentence just summed up this whole comment lol. Ima try and reword the rest of my critiques and make a part twoEndless Path : Infinite Cosmos
Wakanda42: Wow I’m not complaining once at the end of chapter comments. Even I’m surprisedThe Divine Anime System · C10
Wakanda42: I would disagree. Based on previous cases we’ve seen so far classes give you skills and bonuses for whatever profession you use but you don’t have to be a swordsman to use a sword or an archer to use a bow then I would assume it’s the same for magic then.A God's Apocalyptic Entertainment · C70
Wakanda42: Yeah wtf I soon as she met the boy Empress chef bells were ringing in my heldReborn: The New Empress · C3
Wakanda42: Jesus Christ this is literally empress chefReborn: The New Empress · C4
Reborn: The New Empress · C4
Reborn: The New Empress · C3
Reborn: The New Empress · C1
Wakanda42: So he ignore me Ziyun for 1 second after pursuing her for years and she instantly falls in love. Also even if he went to demigod stage in a second the wise emperor probably wouldn’t have noticed. The only way he would have notjced is if when he found the cultivation technique (and all gods fell to their knees. Don’t know if he counts tho) he was able to trace back the energy to the MC or something.The Path of the Library of Heaven at TODAG · C4
Wakanda42: So I agree that the beginning of volume 2 was a little slow compared to volume one but I don’t say why giving him a antagonist who is also a transmigrator is necessarily a bad thing. He changed the HP world to much after the first year so the butterfly effect would have already completely changed the future. Also his growth of strength is to fast so unless you severely weaken him then the original HP villains will have no chance against him. Now I personally would have preferred him expand the world instead of just inserting another transmigrator but with him doing so you can give him a backstory and a consistent threat that can stay with him for the entire series. Also it can easily explain why he is so strong, he was gifted with strength do it can lead as an easy plot device to explain why he is op. You don’t like the new antagonist but do you think Voldemort will be a threat and to him by his seventh year? He already is taking over his forces.Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin
nikostar: I wanted to leave some unaccomplished things to show that mc is strong but not invincible, has room for improvement ^^New Earth- A world of Chaos · C25
New Earth- A world of Chaos · C25
Bisneto: DO NOT READ THIS FANFIC unless you're already prepared to be disapointed. Story's great up to around chapter 70, then it crashes and burns. MC's personality does almost a complete 180 spin from his usual calculist, cautious and rational, to rash, irrational and berserker. The ABSOLUTE WORST PART is that at chapter 89 the author decides to insert another trasmigrator who has all the knowledge of all spells, just to give a bull**** enemy for MC. Author's already made it pretty clear that he doesn't care about the reader's opinion. I wanted to give 1 Star because of time wasted, but his writting quality isn't bad and his update stability is regular. Seriously though, don't waste your time on this story.Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin
WolfLord: Generally speaking you need a class to control the magic abilities when when he first tried to use it at almost knocked him out by creating a few iciclesA God's Apocalyptic Entertainment · C70
Ez_Gia: The Author—𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ, I mean the MC—in his previous life was a very succesful number one businessman who died by the hand of his rival, the number two.
Here's the thing. If Rival-kun was capable enough to be number two, then how could he be so stupid to appear in the crime scene, risking himself of the possibility to be suspected as the culprit and be caught consequently? Just godda-mn hire assassins and wait for the pleasent news while sitting in your comfy seat. Even businessman ranked #1000 should be smart enough to think about it. Oh well, number one already died and by the time cops arrived, they said the culprit was already apprehanded so it's not relevant anymore. It's just so stu-pid.
Second chapter. MC for the sake of vanity and ego, performed an "original" song with his supremely great piano skill and heavenly voice, while some of the audience took video of his little show (off) and uploaded it into youtube.
Took note that he did this WITHOUT COPYRIGHTING the song first. No wonder the number two succesful businessman Rival-kun was stu-pid, as even the number one was an idi-ot himself.
And here comes the magic. Even without securing a copyright he still publicly claimed the song as his own creation and somehow there are no people trying to steal the song (even after people saw how good it was and the rave good reviews it received after it went viral in youtube). "Don't worry, MC-kun. Even though you are stupid the people in this world are all nice and kind they won't steal your song," I heard the god said, protecting MC from consequences of his idiot-ic decisions in life. Man that's a very powerful cheat. I bet even if MC-kun answers his exam sheet with zigzag drawing he will still magically ace the test with that divine protection of his.
Okay, now for the main review (still ranting).
The title is a lie. This, in any way, can't be considered as DnK fanfic. The only thing that was relevant with DnK is MC's name and some of the characters name, of which, despite inheriting the name of DnK's characters, acted entirely different and so one-dimensional. And that's not the only reason why I said the title is wrong. The major reason was that this book is in fact, a blend of many anime and manga such as Kimi no Iru Machi, Just Because!, Yuru Camp, and many others which aren't present in Domestic na Kanojo. The more you delve into the story, the more you discover that characters from other anime or manga keep popping up.
What stood out in original DnK was its dynamic drama where every characters have their own thought and depth, which this fanfic doesn't have. At all.
This is an utter wish-fulfillment, yeah I get that. I sometimes quite enjoy wish-fulfillment stories myself, I admit. But a good wish-fulfillment still needs to retain its sense of realism to make the readers insert themselves in easily. In this fanfic, however, you wouldn't see any. At one point MC meets a girl, then she already fell in love with him. Next meeting, they already had se-x. Or perhaps there was one or two meeting before the se-x, but that's it. Utter garba-ge.
Let's talk about MC. He is your super perfect Gary Stu with no flaw whatsoever. He is literally Author's darling, or even Author imagining himself to be. Number one businessman, capable of cooking 5-star hotel dish quality, having a voice everyone wouldn't argue to say it's heavenly, a grandmaster pianist, terrifying eidetic memory that he could literally rewrote 50 Shades of Grey and 5 Centimeters per Second perfectly. Don't try to defend him with "logic" as there is literally no one capable of doing this.
This story is one where Author may perhaps inserts himself into his own writing so badly he masturbate-s his ego through it that his pen-is is glowing. There is no plot whatsoever. It's just about meeting girls, se-x with them, and throw them into harem collection. All while making easy money through plagiarism and satisfying vanity with showing off and receiving praises.
Honestly, I wonder just how miserabl-e and patheti-c must one's life be in order to be able to enjoy this kind of story. No offense intended, but it just escapes me totally.
Speaking about 50 Shades of Grey, this baffles me. Author talked about it as a masterpiece book where both gender can enjoy it. I face-palmed. If you do a little bit research, you will find that this book demographic was targeted specifically for women. Its success was in fact thanks to its fanbase which is filled with married women above thirties. The male fans for this book while not entirely non-existent, are still the extreme minority. Also, this book success was not because of its great writings, but due to the erotic content itself. Just visit the wikipedia link for the 50 Shades series and you would find it "being ridiculed by virtually every critic who has read it". That's why I find this laughable that MC chose this book to show that he's a 'genius writer'.
I peeked at the titles of chapter 50++, and wow. This story is going to supernatural genre now? If tens of chapters later MC turns into half-ghoul and awakens a Quirk, I wouldn't be surprised anymore.
If you are looking for dipshi-t wish-fulfillment that all it could offer is naught but wish-fulfillment, if you are looking for a story where you are literally a god who could do anything and can achieve anything and the who world revolves around you, this is for you.I'm in Domestic Na Kanojo!
Uforia: I see.....you don't read the synopsis do you? This story is meant to be just for fun. I'm only writing for fun. It's like a gag story, like close to smut with a bit more plot.
I included the powers I wanted to and will increase them when I want to. Like I said in the synopsis, you might not like my novel and I'm sure there are better novels for but you shouldn't leave a bad review just for that.DC Anime System
Wakanda42: The plot was exactly as expected based on the description. The grammar is surprisingly good but idk why it got so many votes for only having 5 chapters seems like people are only voting because of the harem tag. Anyhow my only gripe is that your super lazy with his system, the powers you gave him and pretty much everything about the MC and that itself is expected but then you give us a list of powers that the MC will probably never use. If you just wanted him to sound OP you could have just said every naruto and bleach ability for his powers. (You also never said what his stats and level even mean, they’re literally just numbers) but if you actually wanted his powers to mean something then you should have added his powers one by one carefully every one though out and for a reason based on circumstance( and get rid of shadow clone jutsu because it’s the most overused OP bull**** technique in history barely passing the Sharingan which I’m suprised you didn’t give him considering you gave him red eyes). You could have been different and added more unique powers (djinns, noble phantasms, Yu gi oh cards, etc). Or you could have just given him cultivation since that would have made his power progression more clean than stats and levels and make power scaling easier.DC Anime System
DC Anime System
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