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The Hitting Zone
Exallion: I see, about this, I can only apologize. First, I'm just a new writer so it could be said that I neglected that part. Especially in the few first chapters because yeah, I'm an inexperienced writer. Second, my chapters at the first volume are short. It's just past a thousand words and I can barely cram everything. I had time issues when writing at that time. As for the last reason, it's because I want the characters to talk things and reasons themselves and thus, it created several chapters where the things are answered since at the start, they barely had anytime to talk. The characters were only able to talk and introduce each other after their current crisis is alleviated
So that's why. :DMutagen
PettyOfficer: I wrote this with no sleep in the morning while super hungry, so I’m sorry that the review is wrong at a few details, like how the fatty shot a warning instead of killing someone. However, the core of my criticism still stands.
I told you the main reason for my super low score was the spam of 5 stars from 2-3 people. Your fiction’s rating is highly misleading. It’s not perfect. It’s full of clichés. That means it is decent, but it isn’t exceptional.
My complaints were all summed up in too many clichés, too much emphasis on “plans,” too many useless extras that are *sspulls for their survival, and too many POV shifts.
When you have a narrative, readers like consistency. Readers like being able to see progression. Your characters seem like cardboard cutouts taken from mangas or heroes in light novels. They are customized with your personal touch, but they are still cardboard cutouts.
Now, for your explanation? It’s the modern world.
How can cell service be cut off so easily? Also, how can’t officials issue an emergency warning? I’m pretty sure the Philippines has their own methods to declare a national emergency. How hard is it to send out a message? Better yet, broadcast on radio and over speakers?
Then there’s the guards getting killed. I call horse s*** on your logic. There are swarms of screaming and panicking civilians. Why do they target the far away noise instead of the nearby roar of the people? Zombies are supposed to be killing those defenseless people, but somehow they bypass all of the crowd? The guards can’t kill the zombies?
You already said fast zombies feel pain and can die. How are the zombies bum rushing them so easily? With the number of people, the zombies are not only congested by civilians, but by their own numbers. You add in the zombies that fall down when shot. It’s impossible for the guards to die so easily.
Now the shooting skill. The MC holds a shotgun one-handed and hasn’t failed to hit a target with each shot from what I know. You can’t miss a shot up close, okay, but not only that, he’s not hurt by the bucking of the gun. He’s rapidly firing it. Not only that, he handles it easily with his Otaku knowledge instead of actual knowledge of handling a gun. It’s a huge stretch for me at this point.
Then there’s how he gets the gun. Like most encounters he has, it’s by pure luck. How lucky is he for everything to go his way?
I don’t care if you try to smooth out the side characters later on. Your introduction of them was outrageous. Egregious to a jaw-dropping fault. You wonder why no one likes it further from the intro because they hate this stale sort of coincidences. The only ones left are people who can swallow this mess.
Their survival was again due to luck. The rescue scenario was cliché. You even got the “woman holds everyone back” cliché, but did it through a one-dimensional throwaway character.
The daughter surviving? Bullsh*t! You’re telling me that a mom carrying a child of about 30-50 lbs ran away from zombies, but it was the men who couldn’t outrun zombies? Again, it’s the contrivances of plot armor. You use too much luck to force their characters in.
Then the mom is carried by the unnamed employee. This again is where I’m angry since you can flesh out all the women, but failed to give a paragraph for the man. At least give him a name.
Anyway, Paula carries the kid. This 30-50 lbs kid. She manages to outrun the zombies with this burden? What is she, superhuman? She already ran away from zombies. Where’s her fatigue?
Then you have the gall to say the mom carries the kid? With a sprained foot? It takes at least a few days to treat. She should be exhausted. She should be in pain. She shouldn’t be able to muscle on through.
I doubt if you read anything about what a sprain does to a person.
Now the gangsters. Oh God the gangster scene. You told us he knew they had a gun. He could predict the Boss had a gun. What doMutagen
SamStrike: Does the MC waste time and resource for saving useless people? Does he save people and keep them when they are only burdens? Yes or No?
Also, you cant expect to give a reason to your actions 15 chapters laters, if you have a reason you gotta give it instantly, people are not gonna read 30+ chapters to find a reason, if they dont like a decision they need a reason for a compromise but no one is gonna read 30+ chapter of something they dont like, and as long as the reason is not given they are not gonna like itMutagen
SamStrike: "Why did you say that it doesnt matter if its not a harem" Because it doesnt matter, even if the novel is said to not be an harem, it has all the qualities of it. Being surrounded by females like that is not specifically harem, but there is not much differeces either. It doesnt mattet that the novel describe itself as having the premise of "Not harem", because in the end it's the same as harem without sex, even though it's not techniqually harem.
You said it yourself, you questioned me because I said that the MC is not an anti-hero, but now u said he isnt one yourself?
All the time he let someone dies are only implied, was there even a time where someone asked for help but he decided to not help because it isnt worth it DIRECTLY. All the time he let someone dies arent said directly, he let someone die because he didnt say something that might help them, but did he ever refused to save someone right in front of him?
Moreover I dont understand why you had to introduce so many women like that; the way you let the discussion flow and based on how important the character feels or are important to the story in general, getting more screen time than other character are almost all females? Is this not harem?
You cant put so many women with such interactions surrounding the MC, then making him having sex only with one and saying this is not harem.
You, as the author, are trying to make him look as anti-hero but whenever there is a woman introduced that need help or similar you always give out a reason to save her (that for some reason they are always female). 'Let's save her because she might be useful', 'she might be needed' is just a stupid excuse to make the mc have a reason to save the girl and having more females around. Especially when one has to risk his life for saving her, an anti-hero is described as the opposite of a hero, and a Hero is described as:
"...someone who gives of himself, risking, for the greater goods of others"
This comes back to my original claim:
-The MC is not even close to being an anti-hero
-This is just harem without sex
I dont hate the novel, it's definitevely not my type but whats annoying me is you trying to make the novel pass as something that it isnt. For example, try putting in the description. "Not harem, but he is completely surrounded by women who follows him"Mutagen
SamStrike: and I am not questioning anyone, it's a fact. Someone that saves whoever he find is not an anti-hero, he saves all the women he find and then gives the 'reason' of why he did it to make it logical. Not seen an instance of him letting a women die because it's not his problem. Even if the novel isnt harem, does it matter? He is still surrounded by women even if he didnt do anything to them apart from one. It's just harem without sexMutagen
SamStrike: Anti-hero mc? To me it seems like a hero-complex mc that saves all the women he findsMutagen
WishHope: Initial Impressions~
The novel starts off with a short flashback in the form of a dream where he was once a professional "CSGO" player in the finals of a major competition. The noteworthy point of the flashback is the "black-mask" he wears during the competition with his identity hidden from others similar to the actions of a professional Hearthstone player/streamer named "DisguiseToast". The "black-mask" can be seen from the cover art of the novel. The world is made to be as realistic as possible although not sure if that is going to change in the later chapters.
The main character is equipped with a higher level of gaming skills (maybe overpowered) where he acquired but have to quit from a game in the past due to some reason. I do get a "King's Avatar" Vibe from this starting point. However, the MC personality wise is more of a lesser-jerk who have a sister-complex and may potentially be interested in little girls. Basically, his relationship with his younger stepsister turn sour when he mistreated her early on so he tries to mend the relationship in an invasive manner. The author probably wrote a flawed MC so that he can be corrected in future development and the MC is not all that terrible in attitude to make you despise him. The character development in the novel is well done because we can fully imagine how the appearance of the MC looks like and his traits. Moreover, the side characters does have a brief colorful description of themselves so their interactions with the MC will be more realistic. The author really focuses his attention on the character development.
The author would throw-in frequent Japanese terms/culture in the story such as loli, anime and oni-chan as well as plenty of swearing in the MC's monologue. The novel do not use the "stuck in virtual game" or the "I have a problem so I need the game to earn money solo" trope so there would be a heavy mix of real lifestyle and gaming on PC with other real players commenting from the sidelines instead. The novel is highly immersive in the world of "PUBG" and it is advisable you know the game mechanics beforehand like the type of guns and landing phase to fully enjoy the action. The author have written in the way that stay true to how a "PUBG" match is played and the novel would likely be the 'truest' gaming novel here in QIDIAN. Translators does have a good reputation of providing high quality reads while conveying the wordplay/quotes/references the author utilize.
Overall, I recommend you give the novel a try unless you dislike novels that focus on one match for too long or the slower story development due to heavy emphasis on the character.Kar98K Upon Touchdown!
Juhiko: Because everytime she get close shikaku try to control gaara to kill her and he then keep her awayGaara · C41
half_empty: Thanks! That’s the best compliment I can receive! 😊The Hitting Zone · C371
T0XIN: Guys I updated the stats a little due to the popular opinion that Gaar's way too weakGaara · C30
Lost Amongst the Stars-A Marvel Fanfic · C80
half_empty: Hehe it was a 2 for 1. Sorry! But no worries, it’s not going anywhereThe Hitting Zone · C359
Saikat_Ghosh_9257: Thank you for this biiiiiiiiig surprise......The Hitting Zone · C359
krys56: Great chapter, but i am just wondering where did Dave disappear to during that conversation?The Hitting Zone · C359
bluesbarr: Fucking scumbags. May the gods of karma and brotherly love strike them down.The Hitting Zone · C359
sergioGM: Noah is right, they are scum.
Thanks for the chapter 😁The Hitting Zone · C359
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