TheShadowedHorizon

3d

Commented

"Limitless Sword Domain?!" Kulas exclaimed in a shocked voice.

Meanwhile, Tian Yang felt a strange shift happening in his body. After eating the God's Fruit, it was as if something had loosened up inside him, like unclogging a drain that had been blocked for decades.

Cultivation Online

Games · MyLittleBrother

TheShadowedHorizon

26d

Posted

Problem: The Sun. Solution: One billion lions.

Kill the Sun

Fantasy · Warmaisach

TheShadowedHorizon

1mth

Commented

He came from cliffhanger village.

"To be completely honest with you, I came from—"

Cultivation Online

Games · MyLittleBrother

TheShadowedHorizon

1mth

Commented

As someone who has led plenty of guilds before I can completely agree that this is a problem that you will run into if the game has enough PvP and PvE events. Which players only care about one or the other? Which players want excellence in both? What is going to be the guild direction moving forwards now that it is hitting the member cap and more want to join because you're starting to get solid leader board rewards? Do you kick the old members who helped build the guild now that you need to focus on something specific as they want to focus on something else and no longer fit the direction the guild is going? Small guilds don't have this problem, and games with a guild player limit higher than even participation limit don't have these problems as well as guilds where people are only there for the sake of community. This is why most games now just have a general power ranking where there are just stats that work in both PvE and PvP.

July's thinking was too idealistic, as it was impossible for any group to keep everyone in it satisfied. Her way of thinking that wished to respect everyone's wishes was quite a western concept. What China promoted was collectivism, so the minority in the country usually submitted to the will and ideologies of the majority.

Virtual World: Close Combat Mage

Games · Butterfly Blue

TheShadowedHorizon

1mth

Commented

1351 days without rest? that's a lot of not sleeping.

Days Without Rest

Cultivation Online

Games · MyLittleBrother

TheShadowedHorizon

2mth

Replied to DaoistF0gPVa

"Hellak, get on the stage." Giant Emperor Kulas spoke in a commanding tone.

Cultivation Online

Games · MyLittleBrother

TheShadowedHorizon

2mth

Commented

From today Supreme Magus will be on hiatus for the entire month of February. Please, don't renew the privilege.

Supreme Magus

Fantasy · Legion20

TheShadowedHorizon

2mth

Commented

The females I'm around like hanging out with gay men more than other girls.

"Come over! Tell them to come over immediately," Luo Luo's message carried a sense of urgency.

Virtual World: Close Combat Mage

Games · Butterfly Blue

TheShadowedHorizon

2mth

Commented

Of course he can't stand, he's currently busy kneeling.

Could Edward Brown stand for it?

Invincible! This person has lived for a billion years

Fantasy · IvyWoods

TheShadowedHorizon

2mth

Commented

Fear that your very existence could be erased? That tends to accelerate the heartbeat.

"Nothing... nothing!" Lila didn't even understand why her heart suddenly began to race, leaving her flustered under William's gaze.

Invincible! This person has lived for a billion years

Fantasy · IvyWoods

TheShadowedHorizon

2mth

Commented

First chapter: Walkthroughs are useless. Second chapter: MC creates a walkthrough.

He hoped that the lessons and experiences he had accumulated over tens of thousands of hours would help newcomers avoid some pitfalls and potentially save the game from precarious sales.

Fallen Chronicles

Fantasy · Hail_The_loli

TheShadowedHorizon

2mth

Commented

{1/8}

Chapter 1: Ashen Empire (1/2)[1/4]

Fallen Chronicles

Fantasy · Hail_The_loli

TheShadowedHorizon

2mth

Commented

If you mention this you're screwed. If she's actually on the period you're triple screwed.

Gu Fei felt awkward. He headed to the Warrior and shook his hands, feeling helpless as he said, "You see, when it comes to women, there're these few days every month…."

Virtual World: Close Combat Mage

Games · Butterfly Blue

TheShadowedHorizon

2mth

Replied to Lancron

"Alright! Let's get down to business!" Royal God Call appeared to be more excited than Gu Fei.

Virtual World: Close Combat Mage

Games · Butterfly Blue

TheShadowedHorizon

2mth

Commented

As a gamer I've given and taken more salt than I've eaten rice. And I eat rice every day.

"What does a kid like you know? I've eaten more salt than you've eaten rice," Gu Fei remarked.

Virtual World: Close Combat Mage

Games · Butterfly Blue

TheShadowedHorizon

3mth

Commented

Every now and then the game popups appear so we don't forget.

Cultivation Online

Games · MyLittleBrother

TheShadowedHorizon

3mth

Commented

The protagonist.

"N-No way… What are you?!" Bai Xutao was in disbelief.

Cultivation Online

Games · MyLittleBrother

TheShadowedHorizon

3mth

Replied to GloriousMilfHunter

I'm actually praising the pacing. It was really good in the start of the story. The average book contains around 30-40 chapters, so good pacing is solving a major plot problem every 30-60 chapters. I was just saying that as you slowed the rest of the book down and focused on the characters, your writing improved, while the pacing dropped off. Personally I'm excited to see how you rewrite everything now that you've improved.

But the story's base... it was awful. Even the most passionate reader would know how cringe-inducing the first 150-200 chapters were. I could hardly get myself to reread the first few arcs without cringing. It's horrible. There is no other way to put it. It's forced, lackluster, and riddled with plot holes.

A Cliché Multiverse story

Anime & Comics · GloriousMilfHunter

TheShadowedHorizon

3mth

Commented

While the first 200 or so chapters had mediocre writing, they had fantastic pacing. Something was always happening, and the action you're talking about was always there. the next two thirds of the story pretty much turned into a slice of life with the harem. This caused your writing of exposition and dialogue to become much better, and is probably why you cringe at that in the beginning of your novel. A way to describe it is your story is like a hallway with rooms. The end of the story is the end of the hallway. Before you were writing the story and it was like walking down the hallway and just glancing through a window on the door into the rooms. Things were moving fast but we didn't know much about anything on the side. But now we are walking into every room and making sure to check under the bed, admire the curtain colors, and dust the shelves. While we know a lot about everything on the side, those things don't directly lead to the development of the plot. I would personally like to see you stick more closely to the original pacing, as that is how I prefer stories, but this is your book. You write it how you want to write it, because in the end it is your story to tell, not mine. Keep up the good work, and I'm happy to see you want to keep improving.

But the story's base... it was awful. Even the most passionate reader would know how cringe-inducing the first 150-200 chapters were. I could hardly get myself to reread the first few arcs without cringing. It's horrible. There is no other way to put it. It's forced, lackluster, and riddled with plot holes.

A Cliché Multiverse story

Anime & Comics · GloriousMilfHunter

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Invincible! This person has lived for a billion years

Invincible! This person has lived for a billion years

Fallen Chronicles

Fallen Chronicles

Virtual World: Close Combat Mage

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Cultivation Online

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A Cliché Multiverse story

A Cliché Multiverse story

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