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“The best characters are do not just have weaknesses but strive to overcome them.” “Just like people in real life is that what you are trying to say?” “Exactly in some way everyone’s a hero.” “Some more tragic than others.” He said softly with a silent tear rolling down behind the mask. ———————————————————————————————— Do you expect an op protagonist that will single handedly save everyone he loves, kills his enemies easily with no human emotion, has heaven defying luck and an amazing over the top superpower whilst still getting time to build up a harem? Well click off this novel immediately! in this there are only blood, tears and the stench of death. So buckle up for a hellish ride as Dante hides behind a new mask to try and rule an earthly hell hole with everything from bats to bullets standing in his way. Be prepared for some dark themes, humor and maybe some scenes of a sexual nature you have been warned.
Bullets fly in the nightmarish crucible where death mixes with molten blood in the flames of war. What’s not to love? This is a story in a city of death, the cold lonely streets where people breathe their last, suffocated with the tense atmosphere, and piano wire. This is my story, my own tome of survival so those who dislike the darker side beware, because it gets pretty dark when you come in here. For those interested I’m doing this novel for me so expect inconsistent updates, but at minimum I’ll post once a week maybe more we will see how it goes.
Roman Academy · C15
GD_Cruz: Forgot one thing... the height thing. Dean's complex mostly stems from Luca being taller than him and he hates the co.parisson. after all, he is the big brother. but your idea to tie it into something like shortcomings is very interesting. I hope you don't mind if I make it mine. Hahaha and come on, it was funny right? Lol.The Foolhardies · C94
GD_Cruz: Once again, lots to pack in here. :) Let me respond to each point.
First, the whispering voices. Dean's not going crazy. Hearing voices in his head was simply his subconscious helping him realize there's a chance for him to succeed if he can go pass his limits. I know its was corny. Hahaha but sometimes, the corny stuff hits you right in the emotional core. I hoped it would do that. Apparently, it didn't. Failure of writing more than anything. Lol but thanks for the heads up.
Second, Dean's power up. I'd been planning this for a while now. How Dean's battle has increased his capacity to use certain abilities. From today onward, he'll actually be able to use basilisk's eye more now. Not a lot but more than once a night. Similar to how Aura and Varda now have more spell slots than their previous 2 and 3. Varda actually has 5 spell slots now while Aura has 4. I can't not have a progression as fairy gifts are meant to evolve. Although nothing drastic like anime or manga levels. Just subtle changes that will show off a character's growth. In Dean's case, he now has three functions for Fool's Insight. Regular, Basilisk, and Eagle eyes. That doesn't mean we'll detract from the original plan. This is not a typical webnovel. Characters will never become overleveled or OP to the point of becoming boring. In fact, there will be lasting consequences for overusing your abilities that even healers and potions can't fix. Consequence has to matter or this tale becomes irrelevant. In Dean's case, he might even need corrective lenses after this war. Hahaha we'll see.
Third, Azuma... dude, does it sound like he's dead? Haven't i been hinting in so many chapters that Dean and aura want to free azuma from his current contract? Didn't I even create a situation with other hunters becoming spies for Dean just to make this possibility possible? Lol. That said, whether or not Azuma continues to be a villian is entirely up to him. You'll find out soon.
Fourth, Azuma again. He's what I like to call a red herring. You think he's the big bad shadow hanging over Dean but he may actually be nothing more than a false lead. In fact, it'll be interesting to see what happens next. :)
Lastly, strategic battles and planning out stuff. At the story's core that is still the main idea. But this officer's duel was a necessity just so Dean and azuma can finally hash it out. Still, you can rest assured, giant sprawling battles with plans that go awry are still our bread and butter. In fact, the foolhardies... ah, no. NO SPOILERS NOW. :p stay tuned.
Once more, loved your comments. And I apologise if the writing dissappointed this time. Still, I like to think it turned out okay. :)The Foolhardies · C94
The Foolhardies · C94
PayDay: You high?Roman Academy · C14
Roman Academy · C14
GD_Cruz: Oooh, good catch. Yup, I've edited it in a way that there are more smaller paragraphs to make it more snackable, which is a thing now apparently. :p
Thanks for enjoying the read this time. :) I honestly wanted to hit the climax in this chapter but between explaining Dean's thoughts and the final parts of the action, the prose got away from me. Lol.
I'll post the next chapter around the same time later. Look forward to it.The Foolhardies · C93
Roman Academy · C13
The Foolhardies · C93
Nick_Alderson: Another thought provoking idea, nice one lad. I think it's to do with control as well. That which we can't improve must be either perfect or hopelessly iredeemable , and then that plays into your idea of acceptence because you have to accept such a thing.Roman Academy · C12
GD_Cruz: Okay, there's a lot to piece through here so forgive me if I miss on any key points.
First, I don't think Dean is completely lacking in confidence. The fact that he went hunting for Azuma at the beginning of this fight, and kept at it despite the obvious disadvantage between them, like when he thought of bringing them off their horses or during his twirling combination attacks, I think Dean's confidence in fighting someone is there. It just so happens that Azuma, really is much stronger than him. Imagine smashing your bat against a wooden wall and feeling at first like you can break it, but after several tries still fail to do so... I think that type of frustration and self doubt should be plausible given the scenario.
Also, Azuma is way better than him. No matter how much confidence he gained from fighting Jimmy. That said, the fact that he can stand up and say let's go for round two despite getting smacked in the head with a armor plated knee--isn't that the kind of confidence we want Dean to have? Yeah, he's outmatched but he's still raring to go. It might be because, like you mentioned, it's the way I write Dean's thoughts that clearly showcase how awkward he feels in the fight. That would be my fault, and it seems I'm unable to bring out Dean's eagerness for combat. I direct you to the end of the previous chapter where Dean is actually smiling near the end as he too is enjoying the fight. At least, until Azuma drops the bomb about the ____.
I also don't agree that Dean has no confidence in his ability. He's there fighting because of that confidence. He's not brimming with confidence, for sure, but that's because he's more of a strategist. A strategist would no better than be too confident about fighting someone clearly better than him.
Also, I want to point out that Dean was fighting smart here. The knife strike and the ability to dodge attacks thst would have killed him? Takea skill my man. I think you're frustration here stems from how the fight ended. It is unresolved but remember, the fight isn't over.
Lastly, he's a teenager, I dare you to point out any teenager who wasn't riddeled with self doubt. Even the ones with lofty goals of becoming prime minister. Even the honor students or the jocks. Always second guessing is a teenager's most common shared value, and I don't think it's unearned. with the weight of the world, literally, and his brother's life hanging in the balance. I think Dean is reacting exactly like he should. Yes, he loses his confidence rather quickly but IMHO, that's exactly how he should be. Bar his next training, or power up, he should be wary. He shouldn't be overconfident, and he should feel like he's lucky. That might just keep him alive long enough to gain the experience to laugh in the face of danger. For now, he can fake it. :)
What do you think?The Foolhardies · C92
Roman Academy · C12
GD_Cruz: Hey man,
Thanks for the critical feedback. And yeah, I get where you're coming from. Dean is confident when it comes to pulling out a rabbit from his bag of strategies but his one-on-one fights are almost always down to the wire--and I mean for that to happen actually.
Here's my two cents. I know it's a webnovel, but I really don't want to write a character who is good at everything almost immediately or, who, shortly into the story is already infallible. That is just freaking boring for me. And wish fulfillment aside, Dean, I think, deserves to learn to grow into his own skin. Imagine, a fifteen-year-old in a life or death struggle in a world not his own, that is some crazy ****. Hahaha And any kid who can show absolute confidence in that kind of scenario be cray-cray.
That said, I have been slowly building Dean's fighting abilities. Clearly seen in the fight he had with Jimmy which was a one-on-one deathmatch that didn't get any outside interference. Sure, Jimmy survived that final blow but only long enough to impart some wisdom into Dean. This fight with Azuma will also help him grow. In fact, the next chapter will show you a new side to Dean's gift that wasn't there before. :) Look forward to it.
I think Dean's confidence will come out eventually, but I prefer not to make it immediate. We are at the first war in a series that will have many great battles. :) So don't worry about his lack of confidence. It'll find its place once the story allows it. Otherwise, it'd be just like everything else out there with an overpowered MC who can literally do everything.
But most importantly, I don't want to deprive you guys of a planned arc where Dean and luca go in search of a master who will train them to get stronger in combat. Maybe even learn about Augmentares. Just imagine the training montage here. Hehehe ****, did I just spill the beans and foreshadow this? Lol.
I really am appreciative of comments like this one as it allows me to see how fans are viewing the work. Please keep them coming, grimthorn, my man. :) And I hope my answer is satisfactory. I'd love to debate you on this more too so feel free to reply with your rebuttal. :)The Foolhardies · C92
Grimthorn: Good chapter.
I must say I’ve always wondered why I almost despise dean fighting, and why despite the clear proof that he is a competent fighter it still feels like he’s an ******* with a blade, and I think that’s due to his uncertainty, and self doubt.
Don’t get me wrong i don’t hate the character, internal conflict is good, just how he himself monologues the fight. It’s always down to him being thankful, lucky, or just someone else saving his ass. Even when he should have pride in his sword or hell even just a shred of confidence it’s not there no matter how many fights he wins, no matter how many battles he scrapes out alive he never grows into his own skin.
Compare his blade to his strategies, now it is a bit unfair due to how he was written, but stick with me here. With his strategies he was nervous even doubtful of his own ability he could barely even keep a level head half the time, but now whilst sure he still gets nervous from time to time, Dean actually has a shred of confidence a sense of pride that while he may not be the best he’s doesn’t attribute it to luck nor is he thanking his lucky stars it is him that’s gripping the helm, it is him that’s steering everyone out of the storm not something as disposable as luck.
I guess what I personally would like to see is for Dean to put his money where his mouth is, to not just throw empty boasts but to back it up with competence, and a sense of pride.The Foolhardies · C92
The Foolhardies · C92
Roman Academy · C11
Nick_Alderson: I have no idea why I wrote earnings haha. I meant ramblingsRoman Academy · C10
Nick_Alderson: There will be plenty to comment on in the chapters to come. Things become rather distasteful. Perhaps as time goes on your earnings might even have to form a book of their own hahaRoman Academy · C10
Nick_Alderson: It's quite alright. I enjoyed reading your takeRoman Academy · C10
Nick_Alderson: No, you were quite right. I had American Psycho and Class Room of the Elite in mind as I came up with the premise.Roman Academy · C10
Nick_Alderson: A brilliant evaluation. I definitely think you will enjoy what I have coming up in the middle part of the book. It seems like the sort of thing that would tickle your fancy :)Roman Academy · C10
Roman Academy · C10
GD_Cruz: What did you think of the action? Good enough? :)The Foolhardies · C91
The Foolhardies · C91
GD_Cruz: The "jig" is up. Hehe
It's actually the title of a little known movie that stars some of my favorite tv faves where they go on a LARPing festival and inadvertently summon a real life demon... sounds like a good book, don't it? :pThe Foolhardies · C90
The Foolhardies · C90
GD_Cruz: Yeah, but it is a reality. Even now. The choices of a single leader can make or break a war. :) or start one... sheesh.
That said, expect another awesome fight scene later. :)The Foolhardies · C89
The Foolhardies · C89
GD_Cruz: Addictive drug huh? I was actully thinking that Aura filled that role better than her spell. She does calm him down everytime he's in panic mode like a good bag of ____. :p Kidding! But that said, how could magic not be addictive? Just saying. hahahaThe Foolhardies · C88
GD_Cruz: Whoa whoa... fairy blessings are not steroids. Hahaha It's just like Tifa casting hastega on Cloud or Commander Sheperd activating his Vanguard Charge or -- you get the picture :)
You finished that chapter pretty fast. Thanks for the constant support, Grimthorn!The Foolhardies · C88
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