Webnovel Author: KasiCair - Fanfic Collection

KasiCair

KasiCair

LV 1
2020-08-09 Joined Global

Badges 4

Moments 1692

KasiCair
Replied to Isao2
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In this line of work, no one was going to jeopardize all I had built. Not even my child or grandchild. They were all replaceable.

Overlord: Way Of The Usurper

Overlord: Way Of The Usurper

Anime & Comics · Thieving

KasiCair
KasiCair
Replied to FoxSpy
My problem with this is simple. Once the New World begins, this description will become 'reality'. What then? Imagine this dude creating NPCs with this kind of stupid backstory. Will the MC be relegated to the 'junior disciple' role by the NPCs just because of Wings' delusions? Honestly, even if Wings didn't cross to the New World... but these descriptions of his will stay and they are utterly annoying. You are doing something very daring here with this character because with how everything in-game becomes reality, later on, you gotta account for that and you already made your MC into a 'disciple' of this chuuni. I am interested in how you will spin this... but also supremely annoyed.

Olive Branch absorbed the Forbidden One's Blood and became his bane. Forever will the Forbidden Ones fear Olive Branch now that it has the ability to always wound and weaken him thanks to Jet-Black Wings. Of course, the Jet-Black Wings planned this as he could think 10000 steps ahead of everyone and his patience had run out. He couldn't hold himself back any longer and revealed that he had only been fighting the Forbidden Ones with 30% of his true power. He then sealed the Forbidden Ones into his left arm, which he keeps sealed with his Suppression Bandage of Ultimate Sealing: Magnakarma.

Yggdrasil: Worsap (Overlord FF)

Yggdrasil: Worsap (Overlord FF)

Anime & Comics · FoxSpy

KasiCair
Replied to KasiCair
Or rather, I can take a bit of silliness. That should be a part of fanfiction. But there is just too much for me at once in these chapters.

"Let him keep it." Kushina gave in immediately, creating another reason for Sasuke to keep it. "Whatever it is, let him have it."

Re: Sasuke

Re: Sasuke

Anime & Comics · Auri_EL

KasiCair
KasiCair
KasiCair
KasiCair
KasiCair
Replied to Kingkillerdj2023
You know what? Your story, your rules. Let's agree to disagree. Of course, your opinion is right more or less. What bothers me is the fact they could discover her yin and yang affinities. The same thing was used in another story that I had recently read and it bothered me a lot because that's simply not canon and it is such a BS thing. I am obviously just ranting right now so feel free to ignore me... If the chakra paper showed Yin and Yang affinities, Konoha, as a militaristic village, would have been much, much more efficient with the training regimes, which would inadvertently boost the overall quality of their ninjas. Their whole system would look different. The Academy students would have been tested for this early on simply because it is a no-brainer to do. Elemental affinities don't matter to Academy students because they require chakra amount and control most of them simply don't have, but knowing Yin and Yang affinities would change everything as it would show them what to focus on right off the bat. Everyone with Yin would focus on genjutsu and everyone with strong Yang would be required to take up taijutsu. That's what would have happened in an efficient military organization because it just makes sense to do it that way. Konoha wants and needs strong soldiers. BUT! In Naruto, Yin and Yang affinities are unknown, hence why nobody really knows if they are good at genjutsu or taijutsu, or if they even have a talent for either of them. This results in most people focusing on Ninjutsu since they can plainly see what affinity they have for that one. At most, it is generally known that some clans are predominantly Yin and some other clans are supposed to be predominantly Yang. But even then, this 'knowledge' is not because the ninjas do know or have a way to measure this. Simply, clans with strong bodies are assumed to be Yang, and clans with mentally hard/spiritual Jutsus are assumed to be Yin. It is really a minor detail but I am a tad bit frustrated whenever I see it because I just know you went onto Narutopedia and friggin looked at the affinities and 'assumed' that Yang and Yin affinities are a thing because it is stated there. Well, they are a thing but they are not measurable by the chakra paper. If they were, then logically, the entire system of Konoha's military would have to be overhauled to adjust to this. Because as minor as this detail might seem, it is actually massively game-changing. Don't get me wrong, if the MC knew she has Yin and Yang affinities, then fine. I could get behind that and I think it is a good 'cheat' for Narutoverse, but... yeah. It's just me over-analyzing things and I obviously don't expect you to rewrite your story just because of one detail. Just take this as me needing to write a comment about it before I can put my frustration behind me and forget about it.

'Elder brother said she had phenomenal talent in chakra control and she does have Yin and Yang release. From my estimates, my elder brother has at most 3 years left to live and that is when I am being generous . If she can heal him it would most likely prolong the war that might break out, giving the younger generation more time to grow. And if she becomes good enough I would have an excuse to keep her off the battlefield. YES!! She definitely has to learn medical ninjutsu. I'll teach my Water style too, just in case.'

Naruto: The Strongest Senju

Naruto: The Strongest Senju

Anime & Comics · Kingkillerdj2023

KasiCair
Replied to Joao132135
That, my friend, is Shikamaru's problem. Not Naruto's and not the author's.

Naruto's eyes widened slightly, a beautiful young girl followed after the Kazekage, she was around the same age as Naruto perhaps a year or so older and Naruto was amazed, her light make-up made her beautiful lips stand out, her red lipstick highlighted her vibrant green eyes and her nervous stare added a cute department to her.

Naruto: the gamer system

Naruto: the gamer system

Anime & Comics · Washuru

KasiCair
Replied to Cris_Vilas
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Honestly, even Rei grew embarrassed as heck during that. He didn't have any exceptional fetishes but... sigh. What would a man not do for the happiness of his girl?

In Naruto: Reborn with Talent

In Naruto: Reborn with Talent

Anime & Comics · KasiCair

KasiCair
Commented
Yin and Yang affinity is not a thing. Everybody has them in some amount simply because Yin represents the Spiritual and Yang represents the Physical part of their chakra.

'Elder brother said she had phenomenal talent in chakra control and she does have Yin and Yang release. From my estimates, my elder brother has at most 3 years left to live and that is when I am being generous . If she can heal him it would most likely prolong the war that might break out, giving the younger generation more time to grow. And if she becomes good enough I would have an excuse to keep her off the battlefield. YES!! She definitely has to learn medical ninjutsu. I'll teach my Water style too, just in case.'

Naruto: The Strongest Senju

Naruto: The Strongest Senju

Anime & Comics · Kingkillerdj2023

KasiCair
Replied to Bobnog13
It's not about evidence. It is about logic. A powerful clan like Senjus can not die out just like that. They survived throughout the Warring State period full of war just fine and now they get rekt during the second shinobi war? It's impossible without some behind-the-scenes machinations. First of all, the second the clan starts to die out, the village would try to preserve their numbers by not letting them out on dangerous missions. It is only logical as allowing to lose an entire clan bloodline would simply weaken Konoha. Nawaki's death was just BS. As the last male Senju, no smart Kage would let him out of the village without a proper guard and most certainly not on a mission during a war. The Senjus would also try to bulk up and preserve their numbers once they started to grow low. Another thing is that Senjus were not all active shinobi. There are civilians and retired people... how did these die? How did the situation evolve to the stage that they were practically extinct? It is utterly impossible without any interference to happen. Especially not when they all were safe in the confines of the village where they were basically royalty. Yet, it happened, duh. You can argue they were hunted down by enemy villages but then... why Uchihas didn't suffer the same fate? How did these villages know where to send their ninjas to assassinate the Senju on a mission? ... So, evidence? It might be circumstantial and I am not saying it is Hiruzen or even Danzo who were responsible because it might as well be Madara or Zetsu, but the whole situation is fishy as heck and a massive plothole.

This was her first meeting with the man known as "The Darkness of Shinobi".

Naruto: The Strongest Senju

Naruto: The Strongest Senju

Anime & Comics · Kingkillerdj2023

KasiCair
KasiCair
Replied to Iman_Haris_8828
Hmm... okay then. Thanks.

"….What?" I blurted out, but it was only meant with silence.

A Nascent Kaleidoscope.

A Nascent Kaleidoscope.

Anime & Comics · AStoryForOne

KasiCair
Replied to Pastlives
And this will be my last comment since I have maybe said too much already. This one will be fixated on 'villainy'. You can disregard this one as I will mostly be giving you my opinions but you said you want to make another 'villain' story so maybe this will give you a bit of insight. Oh well, here it goes. ... What many people misunderstand is that a story does not need to be about a hero or a villain. You can totally write about a normal MC who is good to others when he wants and evil when he needs to or it fits his goals. That is NOT being a villain. And that is actually the best-received kind of MC while also being the EASIEST to write. One unrestrained by the tags of 'villain' or 'hero' and one that can do both as it fits him because why the heck not? ... Writing a good villain is hard. Very hard. A good villain needs to have a good backstory that explains what drove him to this path. A good villain needs to have a goal as doing evil things for the sake of doing evil things will just make him pathetic, rather than interesting. And a good villain needs to have boundaries. That is the most important thing. Boundaries. Stuff even he wouldn't do despite his evil predisposition. An example: Thanos would not kill even a soul more than half of the whole universe. That was his goal and also his limit. Now you might think that Joker didn't really have a goal and he was evil just because... but Joker had a rival in Batman and this rivalry could be said to be his 'goal' and what drove him forward. ... And above all this, a good villain needs to show he is also just a 'human' being with emotions. Thanos being emotional when sacrificing Gamora. Joker and Harley. Even Loki had a few instances like that. Obito and his obsession with Rin. Madara and his love for his brothers and friendship with Hashirama. They ALL have something like that. Even Voldemort had his fear of death and retarded fixation with Harry Potter. ... It is not as easy as just making your character evil and calling him a villain. That's why I find it hilarious that there are so many people trying to write 'villain' MCs as if it was the easiest thing to do, only for their stories to be mostly disregarded because their villains are one-dimensional and third-rate characters and their readers find it hard to get immersed in the story because of that. ... Now, writing a villain as the Main Character is even harder. For that, you actually need to make your MC both 'evil' AND 'likable'. Which is damn hard balancing work and you will miss the good balance between the two most of the time no matter what you do. One good way to do this is through the female lead. The gist of it would be inserting a good and interesting female lead and make the MC genuinely care about her while being an overall d*ck to everyone else while chasing his goals. But this would require a good romance, not some hollow and shallow relationship like the possessiveness between the MCs of this story. Of course, there are other ways to do this but one thing does not change. It is a balancing work. Your villain MC should be evil but he MUST stay likable. Otherwise, your readers will just lose interest in him since villains are really not the most interesting characters to read about. // Btw: I stopped reading this story when you had your MCs start throwing exploding tags into the crowd of civilians in Roran. That was where I think your MCs lost even the last shred of likability they had going for them and became just third-rate uninteresting villains and I could not force myself to care about them anymore. Hence, I could not make myself get interested in what happens next in the story.
KasiCair
Replied to Pastlives
I wrote about relationships. Now about the powers, pacing, and age. I think you already realized giving your MCs ten wishes across the board is a ridiculously stupid thing to do. It is hard to make it work in a story while making it make sense. You somewhat managed, yet, not. Your MCs wishes focused mostly on talent so that's why it somewhat worked in this fanfic. But your MCs were still too overpowered, which forced you to progress the plot quickly, and not give enough time to the development and introduction of your characters. A few months in and your characters were already chunin levels at 5 yo. Because of the pace, you set for the characters, we find ourselves in a situation where we have two 9 yo Kage-level ninjas. Try saying that out loud. Maybe you will realize how ridiculous that is. But that's not the main problem here. I know you probably imagine your MCs as teenagers or young adults when you write about them. But making 9 yo have oral s*x? I am surprised nobody called you a pedophile yet. There is an easy way to avoid this. Simply make your MCs reincarnate when they are 10yo. With a bit of effort, you could have done that easily and it would have made the whole story less cringe, less unnatural, less BS. 15 Yo Kage level shinobi is fine because the body is kinda developed enough that it could happen and it would be believable. 9 years old is not. Do not disregard the physical development of children just because there are a few exceptions like Itachi and Kakashi. They could be chunins around 8 yo but chunins and Kages are very different leagues. The ages of your Mcs were easy to disregard but every time I was reminded they are just 9 yo kids, I cringed hard. It's the same kind of BS as reading about an infant who drives his wet nurse to orgasm by being breastfed. Just... awfully terrible. ... The next thing is the fixation on leaving Konoha. You could have made them try to take over the village but no. Your MCs are dead set on going rogue and it is very unnatural for their situation. They have family in the village. And while they do not seem to put much importance on these people, for me as a reader, it is kinda awkward since their families clearly care about them. This makes your MCs a*sholes which doesn't really make them interesting or endearing in any way. And no, 'they are villains' is not a good excuse. You could have transmigrated them outside of Konoha, even with their Bloodlines, and made some BS about how that happened, and it would have been better than giving them caring families while throwing it into your readers' eyes that they are going to betray them just because 'they are villains'. Now, what screwed you over quite a lot is also the fact you make other characters bend over for your MCs. The relationship between Mikasa Uchiha and someone not from the clan would NEVER be so easy. Yet, in your story, both the Uchiha clan head and the Great Elder just shrugged it off because the male MC is talented. Like, what the heck? That's retarded! Why do you make your characters brainless idiots when it comes to the MC? That, right there, is what could make you a great plot for your story. Your crazy MCs trying to get the approval of the Uchiha clan for their relationship while being rebellious and meeting anyway. It could go however far you, as an author, wish and this could be the reason for their latter defection. Yet, you just shrugged it all off and made the whole Uchiha clan bend over for the MC. Just like that. What the heck? I am not even going to portray how Hokage bends over for the MC. He doesn't do that even for his bonafide Kage-level ninjas but apparently, MCs' talent is priced higher than the actual ability of Kage-levels so... It is an easily disregarded problem while reading but logically, it does not make sense. My advice would be: Make it harder for your MC and by doing that, you will make it easier for you as an author. You will get more things to write about. More plotlines to develop.
KasiCair
Replied to Pastlives
This might come as a surprise but it is not the MC or his power that makes a good story. It is the relationship dynamics he has with other characters. Whether they are antagonistic, neutral, or positive, they are a major part of what makes it all interesting. And that's the problem in this fanfic. You have 2 MCs so you do not really need them to interact with anybody else than each other. So, the interaction between your MCs and the other characters falls flat. Your characters might as well be brick walls in these moments. An example: The MC returned to Konoha after a year of training and Tsunade showed her care for him, yet, he was like a brick wall. You didn't even describe what he felt. Annoyance, a twinge of appreciation, a small bit of affection... it does not matter what, it should be there. The 'villain' does not and should not equal 'emotionless'. You already knew the MCs will one day go rogue and these relationships would be in the way. So you simply evaded forming them like a plague. But it is these relationships that would breed conflict and conflicts makes it interesting. Especially since your MCs are powerful from the start and the story desperately needs something else to generate interest than the MCs getting stronger. ... Now, this comment will be all about relationships so let's continue. The relationship between the MCs. It is barely passable because they are supposed to be mad. What they have between them is no love. It is possessiveness. They do not love each other, or at least, you never showed they do. Just because they are villains, it does not mean they can not have a normal love-based relationship. Their madness does NOT need to interfere majorly in that. But I have the feeling you thought it wouldn't fit if they showed affection to each other so instead, you just tried to make the MC into some Dom Alfa Male (total Bullsh...) and the female into Submissive Whatever. That's the dynamics of your MCs relationship and it totally s*cks. There is nothing interesting in it. An example would be Joker and Harley Quinn. Both were mad but their relationship worked while it lasted and it was interesting. Because their actions showed they cared for each other despite being evil and barking mad. But your MCs simply seem like two people who want to own the other as a material thing rather than feeling love. While that fits their mental state to a degree, there is nothing interesting about it. You may as well kill one of them off and nobody would miss him/her simply because most readers will have a hard time getting immersed in this kind of stuff. The way to adjust this is simple. Stop being fixated on some childish bullsh.. like a cold-blooded emotionless villain template that never worked. Put some emotions into your characters. Romance can still happen and SHOULD happen if you are making a story about two lovers. It does not need to be cringe-sweet stuff but a small show of affection would go a long way here. And no, I don't mean oral s*x by that, duh. ... The third and last part of this relationship comment is the 'harem'. Harem or not, it does not matter, but the way you make the male x female relationships in this story is offputting. Pakura was manipulated into loving MC while Hikari was outright enslaved. Sure, the MCs are villains. They are evil. Good job, author. But why the fk should I care about these characters if clearly, the MC doesn't care about them beyond them being some holes to f*ck and exploit? You might as well just kill them off and I, as a reader, wouldn't miss them. They are that insignificant. You can develop them in whatever way you want, putting so much effort into writing about it, and it won't matter. This is a major problem because if I don't care about the characters, then I practically don't care about the story. There will naturally be a few people shouting in comments how awesome this is! But really? Most will just quietly leave because the relationships will get stale after a while.
KasiCair
KasiCair
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