Published more than 500 words on Webnovel
Checked in for a total of 180 days
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Obtain a cumulative total of 1,000 Spirit Stones
In a world in which everyone has a dungeon core inserted inside their mind when they're sixteen, Jason finds himself stuck with the weakest creatures he could think of, ants. Can he rise above the limitations of the ant species and challenge the world of Earth Online? Or will he forever be stuck as a weakling, too weak to even retain the territory he's been given? A dungeon core novel inspired by 'The Lord's Empire', 'Dimensional Sovereign' and 'Chrysalis'. Updates will be sporadic. This is the first draft, the entire story will be rewritten after this is complete.
Poltt: I understand this is the authors first story but some huge problems with it.
First problem is reading story is like reading a instruction manual. Very dry and bland. No simalies or metaphors and all told in third person perspective. The author does get better as story goes on but no by much.
Second problem is suppose to be meidevil age planet with magic but they the have bunch huge merchant families and trade of almost all resources witch did not happen until renaissance age. Then have all people pretty much serfs paying 80-90% of everything to nobles who rule them with iron first and most land unclaimed with beasts ruling it witch is dark ages before midevil ages. Then they have stuff like salt petter witch did not come until after renaissance since need advance chemistry for it.
Biggest problem is the tech he puts out not even 10 chapters in and he already making factories to create modern guns and steam engines. I don't think author realizes that technology is acumlitive. You cannot build a gun without advanced metallurgy, advanced chemistry, boring instruments, rifling, and 30 or 40 other technologies witch they do not have. Like taking stairs up a building you cannot jump from first floor to the 68th floor without going through all floors before it. There is no possible or way that a world that does not even have technological advancements of cross bows is making guns. Even if you know how to would take month to years just to make all the tools and instruments to make the guns. No less the nitter, coal, steel and other techs they would not have. Don't think author even realizes that people did not know how to process coal till beginning of industrial age. You cannot just use coal how is when mined. Even cooking was so much different. There would be next to no way to make most modern dishes back then cause they did not have stoves.World Development System
xcares: Awkward wording/story/characters etc. It should be 1 star but i like the "system" type described.
Author should improve his/her English before attempting to write a novel.
Trash translators might get away with bad English but an author should not waste his time on a language he can't use.
Hope the author keeps improving on all accounts and will successfully implement his idea in the future.World Development System
Farhnir: Honestly i couldnt continue reading , the main idea of novel is not bad but the writing and editing is bad, the presentation of plot , choices and other tghngs feels worse than robotic. I cant get a good feel from reading this. Simply no immersion, sorry never posted a bad review but after seeing 19 positive reviews it was better for me to write some truthWorld Development System
Trek: Why didn't mc just scan all the book in the library, why only 60~ Even if the book is unpopular or irrelevant now it could be relevant later. I'm sure mc can spend a few hours just a few seconds for each book to scan and record the entire library in the system.World Domination System · C7
N0xiety: Logic Error: Why would high profile thieves who have recently made a high profile heist and with a big reward on their head be targeting people in the slums? If they are targeting people in the slums, they must be desperate thieves by logic, but they are not? Do explain this to me so i can make some sense out of this mr author? o_OWorld Domination System · C6
JuhuFrog: Why didn't he pay them money like Fat Wu originally suggested instead of giving intanglible benefits in the form of shares? I don't think it works longterm if they don't get a salary.Scholar's Advanced Technological System · C97
ahdamnit: Still pretty bad, one more chapter maybe.The Achievement Junkie · C6
DaoPursuer: as soon as he left the king before he could get forced into something he immediately gets forced into something else. And just goes along with it for some favor from some random girl manning the counter. That’s why there are no comments here. This chapter was annoying. Writing is good though.The Achievement Junkie · C4
a_commoner: This author knows **** about kings and people of power in generalThe Achievement Junkie · C3
MagicalLitrpg: That king wouldn't have just let him go.The Achievement Junkie · C3
DaoistMiddleFinger: He disrespect a king in his court. And gets away with it?The Achievement Junkie · C3
FilledWithHope: The MC gave up on one of my dreams, being necromancer. My heart is shaken.Rise of The Undead Legion · C150
Rise of The Undead Legion · C150
Biako: why would he need the Conquest Right! HE HAS AN UNDEAD LEGION!Rise of The Undead Legion · C134
Long_winded_Sage: Then what about going to durahza or whatever and trying to fish for a quest/ Petition for military support in which he uses the right while the legion supports him and claiming it for the legion/ leaving it to them afterwards?Rise of The Undead Legion · C134
DaoistSovereign: Didn't he want to be a rich man like the other guildmasters i mean sure he has a leagion of undead but once everyone enters and the undead race gets open things would change and plus if he conquer the kingdom he can make more moneyRise of The Undead Legion · C134
HansTheCool: THEN HE CAN CONVERT THE EASTERN KINGDOM TO THE GLORIOUS UNDEAD LEGION!Rise of The Undead Legion · C134
CyanReader: Indeed once he is the king of the underworld he can conquer the worldRise of The Undead Legion · C134
Long_winded_Sage: Why doesn’t he just give the conquest right to the legion? They would take over the kingdom giving him access to the surface world and he would get massive contribution points.Rise of The Undead Legion · C134
ericm160: I still feel the ai behaves uncharacteristically because it's not the creators merely ai and I'm sure a smart company would shut down an ai that developed emotions grudges and pettiness like this due to the riskRise of The Undead Legion · C128
MrPanda1994: So.. why are they moving in a spearhead formation? Thats either intended to stop cavalry or break the lines of another unit if your unit is charging. To effectively defend his ranged units he should be in either a testudo or squareRise of The Undead Legion · C123
Bisneto: DO NOT READ THIS FANFIC unless you're already prepared to be disapointed. Story's great up to around chapter 70, then it crashes and burns. MC's personality does almost a complete 180 spin from his usual calculist, cautious and rational, to rash, irrational and berserker. The ABSOLUTE WORST PART is that at chapter 89 the author decides to insert another trasmigrator who has all the knowledge of all spells, just to give a bull**** enemy for MC. Author's already made it pretty clear that he doesn't care about the reader's opinion. I wanted to give 1 Star because of time wasted, but his writting quality isn't bad and his update stability is regular. Seriously though, don't waste your time on this story.Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin
DaoistLeftNut: What intelligence has been displayed here today.
I did stop reading this novel. Because I didn't like it. So I wrote a review about it, and how I felt it could be improved.
What is the point of your comment? To try to attack me because you like this book, even though it is of poor quality? Another book that you're gonna read for a while, then, in your words, "drop."
Learn how to develop an argument, study up on your grammar, then try to criticize me, because what you said in your comment was not a logical criticism, all you did was b*tch. Now go suck on toes or whatever it is people like you do.
(I apologize to people who suck toes for comparing this person to your group, you guys do you)Journey Towards Greatness
DaoistLeftNut: I feel that the people who gave this five stars are either bots or people who have a poor understanding of the english language. This novel does not deserve more than 2.5 stars. For it to have more than 4 is actually just astounding. The synopsis is a giant f**king run-on sentence that is repetitive, and so is the entire story. I know that almost every user created novel on this site has more than 4 stars and deserves less than 3, but I decided to check this one out, so it will receive my hate and criticism. The actual coherence of the novel isn't entirely unreadable, but the formatting and repetition and everything else grammar-wise needs improving. It is difficult to care about character and world-building when it takes conscious though to understand what the author is saying. Yes, you can applaud that they are putting out a chapter a day, but who cares when that daily chapter is a piece of s**t.Journey Towards Greatness
Gran_Rodeo: You want an answer right why he keep deleting your comments?Rebirth Of The Urban Immortal Cultivator · C19
So far the story started as a reincarnation of an unstable ***** with psychotic tendencies rising your hopes to be a Dark Lord or at least someone really Dark in nature in the HP world but the Hermione nation attack transforme this into a drama and now is filler after filler of the MC telling how cute is Hermione...
1)If you like drama and fillers this one is your cup of tea.
2)The author have a diehard Hermione fetish.
3)The author have tendencies to change the personality of the MC and telling secrets like Horcrux and Resurrection stone to Hermione something that anyone would call foolish...
Two, no one but two of the worst Dark Lords have emerged with these *information* and he told her a 11yo Hermione for a foolish crush something out of character for the MC you showed us at the beginning.
I’m dropping this oneNew Dawn- A Harry Potter Transmigration Fanfic
Krizantem: Thanks for the commentThe Law God - Artic
Gran_Rodeo: I saw you on law God artic review, I wanted to talk to you about something can you give me your insta I'd?Rebirth Of The Urban Immortal Cultivator · C19
Gran_Rodeo: Your review got deleted again right?The Law God - Artic · C37
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