Jccr - Profile

It's a pretty fresh read and up until chapter 3 pretty unique I just wish the story didn't fall into the cliché of scientist in the magical world who only studies magic to the point that he is the reincarnation of Merlin before the end of his first year. On the other hand it is a story that reminds me a bit of The Spiderwick Chronicles. Especially in the fact of magical creatures that no one can see, It is something that certainly makes it stand out and that can give a lot of play to the plot if it is used as something central to the story and not just as an add-on. About the quality in general, the author has a writing above average and a storytelling so far impeccable I would only remain to observe the development of the secondary characters and if he is able to make them organic.

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Wow I didn't expect to find a gem like this, it's only the first few chapters but the world building and the main character are quite novel something that stands out among so many generic stories, for the moment I'm not going to get my hopes up too high because there are only a few chapters, only time will tell if the story is really good or just another mediocre story with a good start.

It is a very good story, the construction of the character at the beginning was a little weird but the trans background that is being given is very good, on the other hand the dialogues both internal and with other characters are great. The only thing that detracts from it is the stability of the publications.

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Very good story, has politics, is dark, somewhat realistic and is more focused on the manipulations of the game of thrones. So far very good and recommended.

Well I think your way of narrating the story so far is perfect, besides not having much experience in creating characters the first person is a point of view is very difficult to raise well the feelings and thoughts of a character with a twisted mentality, and about the dialogues take into account the personality you want to project between the characters.

In my opinion the level of bellatrix and Mad Eye from the second war is not his peak level, so he should have the strength but not the experience.

I just realized that it may have a lot of mistakes so I apologize, also if anyone has any questions please ask and I will try to answer them.

To begin with congratulations to the author for such an interesting start, and for planting such a "unique" mc construction. Now having so few chapters makes it hard to judge a story at first, so many times what starts out as something spectacular turns to crap. So in this review I will try from my experience as a reader of a lot of Harry Potter stories to give some parameters of what in my opinion differentiates a mediocre story from a good one. First is the beginning of a "villain" story, which is something that is rarely handled well, usually due to a lack of resistance to criticism from the authors. My advice if you are going to make a Grindelwald type character is not to do it half-heartedly, he has to be charismatic, manipulative, with a superiority complex, a bit detached from emotions and cruel. All of these characteristics have to be realistic and consistent, they can't be changed abruptly on a whim since the mc already had those characteristics at a young age. The second recommendation is to keep in mind that neither children are too smart nor adults are too dumb so the characters must be realistic, all adults cannot be easily manipulated nor can all children be naive, in other words use nuances. Third tip, and in my opinion what makes a story turn to shit. The world building should be "realistic" following the parameters Rowling builds in the Harry Potter world and innovating within them, in other words, no multi-verse travel, no talking dragons, or mystical powers of the founders, no Chinese novel type cultivation, no magical core, no accelerated growth, no mc being able to command adults as a child or teenager no matter how powerful he is (beware that this is a very common mistake), or that he is more powerful than Dumbledore in his first 5 or 6 years, etc. The important thing in my opinion is to plan the story well and have coherence with the world you are trying to raise, for example, Grindelwald is very hated by most in the magical world especially in the continent so being related to him is very dangerous so going to Hogwarts in a magical country where much of the high society is xenophobic and society is closed, besides being a breeding ground for young followers (as Voldemort did before he became a moron) is the right explanation why not to go to Dumstrang, a place where grandchildren of people killed by Grindelwald go. The last tip is don't rush the story, it has potential, many people will not like it and they are very vocal about it, but I assure you that many people like me like a cruel story, the one of a real villain, don't soften it to the (Mc). I also hope you don't concentrate on making the mc op give him time, he can be a genius but in life everything is time, no one can study 24 hours a day. This type of character should use politics like Tom Ridle in his time, concentrating on the young in, on the student body, adults do not follow children no matter how mature or powerful they are, is something to be proud of. Lastly don't forget Grindelwald is being hunted. Good luck with the story and to emphasize this is just my opinion and you don't have to follow it or share it. Lastly, I don't speak English very well so I translated it, sorry if I don't understand something very well.