Antalo - Profile

gunna be interesting

what?

awesome keen to see more

whats the update schedule on this looking like so i know when to check back in

Awesome can't wait to read it keep up the good work

i think the description part hes getting at and i kinda understand it is the whole your on the normandy explore show us what you see don't long wind it though but give us a mental construction of what your seeing (even though we probably know) i personally don't care i know it all off the back of my hand i can visualize it but otherwise this fic is going well can't wait to read more

it was good easy to read i didn't find myself lost anywhere keep it up, maybe focus a little more on some details like actually explaining what hes making with the armor get some descriptions not long winded mind you to help build the readers visual identification of who grunt is becoming what hes wearing what he looks like and whatnot helps you in the long run too, apart from that keep going your doing quite well

Senzu bean Senju is naruto characters

Cliffhanger-kun strikes again damnit

Slow down his power creep till we get closer to the stories begining arc maybe have him take his S-class trials or something a while before it begins or afterwards i dunno up to you on that front but having him outpace all opposition would be pretty bad hes at a good point for the battle for fairy tail arc and maybe a bit beyond that have his improvements be less on power and more on technique maybe but otherwise nice chapter can't wait for more

sorry to tell ya man but gildarts is quite literally beyond laxus who managed to outdo and beat down someone who was in the top 5 wizard saints people who according to a guild master are so beyond the human norm they can't figuratively be classified as humans hell the top 4 are called gods for a reason and gildarts is apparently in their ballhouse of strength think about that for a second then go back and compare the other S classes we know about Mirajane,Erza,Laxus from fairy tail then we have people like Kagura from mermaid heel, Ichiya from Blue Pegasus and Baccus from Quadro Puppy, He is by no shadow of a doubt so far beyond them they are quite literally specs of dust by comparison S tier is more of a gap of skill then just Raw power if it was just on a subject of raw power then Natsu would have been an Sclass mage before the show even started not even getting started on the plethora of other characters that have that tier of strength so no i wouldn't say hes around their tier hes more in the ballpark of mirajane an Sclass who stopped training or w/e so low Stier

Right so non offensively (you did ask for constructive criticism) your writing in terms of Character building and Character development is non existent, take a look at any decent to good long running fic and you will see a trend that is exactly the same with characters in books, anime, movies ect the character needs to evolve and not immediatly your guy goes from 0-100 reeaalllly fast i almost got whiplash, now onto the story and whatnot itself i have given the same tip to most people who try to use the WISH fic style the long and short of it is just don't your character just ends up being too OP and not enjoyable to read about or people just disagree with your choices making for a toxic audience, if you wish to do a god gives powers do it in a spin the wheel lottery sense and don't give more then one an even bigger tip is give an ability that you can eventually munchkin to this level of power, say for instance the MCU now we know magic (and magic is fkin OP in the marvel universe) is almost entirely reliant on language capabilities use Cipher's powers to immediatly understand any and all languages posed to him you can then push this to its limit by mastering coding and machine languages for making AI and whatnot so much from a seemingly low tier power, this makes for an immensely more engaging narrative with it evolving in the uses of the power the more you actively think about it and if you can translate that into your character growing and learning more as he/she goes awesome, the idea that the powers you get from reincarnating have to immediatly be bullshit actually ruins more fics then helps them in the grand scheme of things, just take say Dragonborn for instance hes not supernaturally gifted or bullcrap with anything hes just dragonborn and had to study his infant years, sure if you don't wanna drag it on through infancy and want to get into the nitty gritty break up your 10 opening chapters into slight time skips nothing massive just so people get details inbetween, also *** scenes and doing smut in general my biggest tip i can give here is ironically people will say go for sexy harem but the biggest receptions and mark ups from reviewers actually comes from a single love interest or even potentially 2 where you can write in a genuine feeling of emotion into the scene allows people to immerse themselves and feel themselves there in a sense. Now all together this fic is and again i don't want to insult you or anything nor discourage you but its pretty bad if your genuinely interested in developing as a writer try look for proof readers and an editor they will catch stuff even just story wise that make little to no sense or are just outright boring it helps more then you can possibly think. I hope i haven't ruined your desire to write but i just wanted to add in some hopefully constructive criticism and hope to seeing your eventual improvements if the case may be you wish to keep writing.

ooh goodie i have been starved for SW/Force Wielding out of universe fanfics for a while since that sith one on FFN stopped updating