Webnovel Author: LostClouds - Fanfic Collection

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LostClouds

LostClouds

male LV 4

I just want to spend my time reading and writing.

2018-08-26 Joined United States

Badges 6

Moments 5

LostClouds
Commented
I'd recommend thinking up clever uses of moves like string shot to do more than just hitting the enemy. Things like using the move as a grappling hook to move around and such. Other than that, maybe focus on a Pokémon's biological advantages that aren't used in game, Zubat using echolocation is a great example. Liked the Starly fight the most.

What did you guys think about the fight? It was my first time writing a pokemon combat, and I think it turned out pretty good! Give me your feedback so that I can improve and write better battles in the future. I wanted to have one before the gym leader so I could practice it.

The Journey of a Psionic Champion

The Journey of a Psionic Champion

Anime & Comics · BonAurevoir

LostClouds
Posted
Overall it's alright if you are new to fanfics. The author is very familair with the world and is so far avoiding most pitfalls other fanfics find themselves in. However the story has some bad vibes from the get go. First of all the pacing is way to fast to give the reader any sort of stability when reading the fanfic. What I mean by that is the author gives us the readers the bare bone set up that most fictions give to set up the story when using reincarnation, Mc dies then is reborn. Simple right but the problem lies with that after that the author's focus is on the MC's power rather than their character. From what I got from the MC in the first few chapters is that he was a kid who played football, had decent tolerance in ignoring drunks and that he didn't ignore Naruto. Everything else is a stat flex on a bunch if children who aren't even in the academy and we even got a time skip to boost MC right before it. And the biggest dissapointment to this point is that by doing so one of the biggest factors that draw in readers is ignored, The DOG. Seriously i'm not saying you shouldn't give it a read as the author clearly puts their heart into the story, it's just that there is a clear feel in lack of direction to the story to make it feel unique. And to people who argue it's inherently great because there is no harem, and that the MC isn't God from chapter 1 you are doing the author and yourselves a disservice for rating the fiction highly on that alone.
LostClouds
Commented
for those unaware the inuzukas are using colors to name their dogs. Aka= red hence akamaru. Kuro= black kuromaru and finally gure=grey guremaru. I don't speak japanese but i'm pretty sure maru just means boy,male or whatever when naming someone?

Besides that, as per the customs of the Inuzuka, I had already chosen my Ninken, which were the Hound Dogs of the Inuzuka. Guremaru, as I named him, was still a pup of the same age as Akamaru, but his appearance was more in line with that of Kuromaru. He was extremely obedient and behaved lovingly, only showing aggressiveness during traning.

Naruto: Reborn As An Inuzuka... Kinda?

Naruto: Reborn As An Inuzuka... Kinda?

Anime & Comics · WooingTheStars

LostClouds
LostClouds
Commented
Yeah and the Ozone layer has a giant hole in it not because of carbon, but thanks to the 150ish hydrogen bombs the US government set off in the upper atmosphere. Yay political cover ups missinforming the public.
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The Magician of Sound

The Magician of Sound

Sci-fi · Fixten

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