yvxii

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Bald_Chanyeol_: "With my beauty"

I'M SCREAMING HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Full Marks Hidden Marriage: Pick Up a Son, Get a Free Husband · C1153
1 year ago

Thormented: I.. When did LTX become the wife? XD

.... Maaaaannn, LTX is getting better and better at being shameless. He's learning so much from Ning Xi!

Full Marks Hidden Marriage: Pick Up a Son, Get a Free Husband · C1153
1 year ago

Babyboy1412: "But your eyes were yelling, 'Ahh! Oh my God, oh my God, Xiao Xi Xi is really Little Treasure's mother! The bastard that night was really my brother!'" - Trying to imagine with big bun's voice

Full Marks Hidden Marriage: Pick Up a Son, Get a Free Husband · C1442
1 year ago

Grae13: Li Lanfeng, connect the dots faster

It's Not Easy to Be a Man After Travelling to the Future · C301
1 year ago

35890: I trust you. But I'm gonna install these cameras just in case.

National School Prince Is A Girl · C13
1 year ago
Reading Status: C5
Writing Quality: 4/5

Your chapters are well-written, I really enjoyed reading through them due to the detailed descriptions. Your vocabulary is also quite good. I'm reading on my PC so some of the paragraph lengths don't bother me as much. However, you could consider separating a few of your paragraphs (mainly information about the world, an object, or a place) to make them shorter. That way, mobile readers won't be faced with text walls. In regard to grammar and mechanics, I'd recommend editing through your chapters once you've written them. There are one or two spelling mistakes which can be easily corrected.

Stability of Updates: 5/5

I'm not sure about your schedule for updates, but it's pretty consistent right now.

Story Development: 4/5

The development of your novel so far is good. You have introduced the protagonist (as well as his background and relationships), then depicted the direction of the novel. You have also hinted at a subplot/complication in the second chapter which may be important in the future, which increases the urge to continue reading. I like the action in the latest chapters, but I'd suggest adding more sensory detail to enhance your writing.

Character Design: 4/5

Your characters are designed really well. I like how you have weaved in little details that enrich the personalities of your characters. (E.g: Riley making sure to pick the burnt pancakes for himself.) This creates depth in your characters, and also demonstrates the relationship and bond between the siblings ^ - ^ The banter between the brother and sister pair is also very realistic. In regard to other characters, I like how you have incorporated Riley's thoughts about them in your descriptions. Rather than blandly listing their characteristics, you have presented them in a more fluid and natural manner.

World Background: 4/5

I like your execution of worldbuilding ^ - ^. I generally don't read cyberpunk novels, however, you have written it in a way that's ****** and clear to understand. I've mentioned this before above, but I enjoy how you've connected information regarding the world with Riley's thoughts and comments in your writing. This way, it's more interesting and seems more authentic.

I enjoyed reading this, good luck with future chapters ~ View More
The Expandables - A Post-Apocalypse Cyberpunk Adventure
1 year ago
Reading Status: C10
Writing Quality: 3.5/5

Your chapters are well-written in the sense that there is vivid description which enhances your story. The structure of your chapters are good too, the paragraphs are separated decently. The only thing that's preventing me from fully enjoying your novel in regard to this aspect is the grammar and mechanics. There are a few abrupt changes in tense, and incorrect use of commas. You can easily fix this though, and it will improve the flow of the chapters.

Stability of Updates: 5/5

The releases of your chapters are pretty consistent, keep it up ^ - ^

Story Development: 4/5

I like the development of your novel so far. You have introduced the background and situation of the protagonist, and brought your readers along with Luciana on her journey to become stronger. You haven't dragged out the introduction and instead written each event succinctly, which is a plus. I'm interested in reading how the story will progress ~

Character Design: 4/5

From the beginning of the first chapter, you have clearly presented the personalities of your characters. I like how you have described their physical features and also hinted at their personal motivations and backgrounds. You have utilised dialogue well, the nature of these characters are reflected in their conversations and interactions with one another.

World Background: 4/5

One thing I really like about how you have executed your worldbuilding is the way you presented it. Readers can gain an understanding of the world not only through the description of the physical elements but also via the interactions and mannerisms of the characters. On the other hand, I recommend that you also add more sensory detail (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch) in your writing. This way, your readers can immerse themselves deeper into the world you have created. View More
White Queen Ascending
1 year ago
Reading Status: C6
Writing Quality: 3.5/5

Your writing itself is quite good, and there is adequate description in your chapters. The way you have described the interactions of Arun with other characters paints a clear picture of the scene. However, something that I would suggest you work on would be your grammar and mechanics. There are moments where you seem to have forgotten to use full stops/periods at the end of sentences. Also, please read up on the usage of colons. You've used them several times in sentences where a comma would be sufficient.

Stability of Updates: 5/5

You mentioned in your synopsis that you would update one chapter a day. So far, you have kept it ~

Story Development: 3.5/5

I actually quite like where your story is going so far. In the beginning, it gave a more 'slice-of-life' feeling, relaxing and comfortable to read. However, after the seventh chapter, there's a sense of mystery being aroused. The plot starts to pick up around here too, which is a plus.

Character Design: 4/5

With each character that you introduce, you have made sure to describe their physical features and also shown a bit of their personality through their actions and dialogue. I also like how you've given personality to the pets as well, it's one of the things that I enjoyed while reading your novel. There isn't much mention of Arun's past world or his personal motivations so far, but I'm sure you will/have included them in future chapters ~

World Background: 4/5

After reading the first chapter, I liked how you weaved in a bit of information regarding the world without dumping it bluntly on the reader. The concept of having pets as 'guardian angels' is interesting, as is the [Pet Pact]. Around the eighth and ninth chapter, Arun is taken on a journey to another location. I like how you have described the scenery/landscape of the 'world', although I would suggest you to add a bit more detail. This will help you to build a clearer picture of the world in your readers' mind.

E.g: In chapter nine, you describe the landscape of the territory Arun and Astera travel over. To add more depth and allow a deeper understanding of the world (the climate, features/characteristic etc), try to add in more sensory details.

sight, sound, smell, taste, touch.
//The climate had also changed dramatically. Due to the blistering heat, the vet was forced to remove his blouse. The sun's rays pounded down on them, and Arun lowered his head, seeking to hide from the glare.

Since they're flying, you could also mention the presence/absence of wind. While you don't have to add so much detail in every paragraph, making sure to include a few every so often will enhance the reading experience. View More
Parallel World Vet
1 year ago
Reading Status: C2
Writing Quality: 3.5/5

I like how you have incorporated descriptions in your chapters to add more depth since many writers on here tend to just 'tell'. You don't have any paragraphs which are too long, and they all seem to be of reasonable length. Your vocabulary is also decent, so I enjoyed reading through the chapters. The only major element that I would suggest you work on would be your grammar and mechanics. There are places where you have switched tenses abruptly, used the wrong pronoun, or forgotten to add quotation marks. This can be easily fixed though, and it will allow your chapters to flow more smoothly.

Stability of Updates: 4.5/5

You mentioned in your synopsis that you would update six to seven times a week. After skimming through your TOC, I'm pretty sure that you have kept it ^ - ^

Story Development: 3.5/5

I like how the plot is going so far, it's interesting to read how Liu Yang is adjusting and living in this 'new world' which he has been transported to. If there's anything I'm a bit confused with, it's the almost instant acceptance of Liu Yang towards the Ninth World when he arrives. It is slightly jarring. Other than that, I'm enjoying it. Events seem to be picking up around the seventh chapter too ~

Character Design: 3.5/5

There isn't much description about the protagonist in the chapters that I've read, whether that be his physical features, personal motivations or backstory. However, I'm sure you have developed them in later chapters ^ - ^ I would recommend weaving in a few of these details in the earlier chapters too though, so the readers can connect more with your characters. Considering the plot of the novel, the potential for character development is high. I'm looking forward to seeing how Liu Yang will grow as the story progresses.

World Background: 4/5

You seem to have a grasp on the 'world' which you have created, considering the different species and various worlds which you have presented in the first couple of chapters. The fact that you haven't overloaded the readers with information about the creatures in Ninth World but just described a few and expanded on them is a plus. I also like how you introduced the Nine Worlds in the first chapter, the concept of them being interconnected is intriguing.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this. I believe your novel has potential, so please keep writing (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ View More
Rebirth: The New Game of Life
1 year ago

booknerd_chel: Poor 'Dog Bucher' was beaten and dragged to be butchered...😅😅😅

Superstars of Tomorrow · C324
1 year ago

Castle954: Oh Huo Yi, don't get mad because your troops can't follow God Zhao.

Superstars of Tomorrow · C323
1 year ago

MengDao: I've heard of sweating bullets but this is a whole new ball game

Superstars of Tomorrow · C322
1 year ago

CelestialMeatbun: You just said that your wife is boring. Your so dead, grandpa Fang.

Superstars of Tomorrow · C320
1 year ago

OneSmiling: “How do you wish to die?”
“Married”
“Sorry I cannot do that”

Superstars of Tomorrow · C317
1 year ago

Demonslayer007: Hey hey Senior Mo Lang our Boss Zhao 😎 was super exhausted after composing the particular song and was also was under severe pressure which he is usually not so naturally the song will be awesome beyond general comprehension 😚😣😳

Superstars of Tomorrow · C316
1 year ago

Ai3: QT: Ohh..You don't have wife..
FZ: ...(Decrease 10 Hp)
QT: Ohh..Your character is the one who went to path of loneliness...
FZ: ...(Decrease 100 Hp)

Superstars of Tomorrow · C314
1 year ago

GuraduGilgida: This brat... is promising. Already thinking about his parents' retirement even though he's still a child. More importantly, FZ approves!

Superstars of Tomorrow · C313
1 year ago

AzureOrchid92: Aww.. the kid was so cute! ☺ And these movie chapters were really making me cry. 😭 Good for you Zhao God to reminisce about the past.

Thanks very much for the chapter! 🙇

Superstars of Tomorrow · C312
1 year ago

XAIDY: Can't really help but be amazed on how the Author writes this. By composing musics, and all, even tho I don't understand anythig. I still get goosebumps. Touching scences like this too is pretty awesome in my opinion.

Never saw Fang Zhao do sumthin out of line. Tho i don't know how a 500+ years old guy would think. But I'm confident on how FZ's character is perfect for the story. Thanks Author and Translator. More power of SoT *--*

Superstars of Tomorrow · C312
1 year ago

Gran2Brave: Lol the vampire duke is now endorsing garlic.
Oh god my stomach...send help 😂

Superstars of Tomorrow · C311
1 year ago

AzureOrchid92: 😔 His death? Yeah, he can make the BEST accompaniment for that! 😭 Thanks for the chapter!

Superstars of Tomorrow · C311
1 year ago

BluebellBerry: Jinro... so savage!... I like (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ Keep it up! Keep it up!!

Superstars of Tomorrow · C310
1 year ago

Kuroguma: I just noticed, Zaro is like a typical mc while Fang Zhao is like the spirit grandpa that guides him.

Superstars of Tomorrow · C304
1 year ago

axae: Dafaq did I just read...
Stealing a dog....
Can they be any more shameless??

Superstars of Tomorrow · C298
1 year ago

Kezo: ALL HAIL CURLY HAIR !! 🙌🙌🙌

Superstars of Tomorrow · C297
1 year ago

DazzlingGem: Great-Grandpa Fang is really sooooo cute! XD And can't wait for the filming and the movie. ^_^

Thanks for the chapter, Master Barker!

Superstars of Tomorrow · C295
1 year ago

Ai3: His grandpa said, "My family don't have any relationship with M. Fang Zhao".
Fang Zhao, 'What do you mean? Then, who I am?T.T'

Superstars of Tomorrow · C294
1 year ago

CelestialMeatbun: My heart skipped for a moment

Superstars of Tomorrow · C292
1 year ago

daoist201: Fang Zhao: "I wish to act as myself." 😂😂😂

Superstars of Tomorrow · C287
1 year ago

Demonslayer007: Straight forward the way of Boss Zhao 😎😅, hmph 😤 your penetrating eyes will not be able to see any thing of Zhao 😂 Director

Superstars of Tomorrow · C287
1 year ago
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