8Psycho - Profile

The edge is bleeding

Ffs, please stop trying to write witty/snarky characters if you can't. Such cringe is painful to read.

Unless mc slept through all of the game, he was still in the first person witnessing fights, right? :\

If mc goes along with his plans of blackmail, I think I would drop the story at least for some months or a year perhaps. I understand that [Weakling+(a bit of power OR resolve)=Abusive Scum] is much more realistic(but not more interesting or great to read) than mc suddenly becoming Alpha, but damn the story was never realistic, and now is not the time to start.

A lot of complaints about the protagonist again. Game was supposed to be about fighting and fucking, right? Mc played game for at least a week iirc, how come he has no idea about either? Isn't it supposed to be that VR that exactly like RL? Have mc never played a Game or watched any media involving any fighting in his life? About MA, will it all be mundane MA? In the description, you mentioned MA and korean novels, so I assumed inner energy MA will be involved. Kinda like 'the Breaker' but with fucking. What I am saying is that chapter was kinda boring to me. Too basic/cliche.

Fcken simp! Ptffuu!

Well there was that intermission dream, so I assumed more supernatural stuff to come. If I was wrong, it's a relief frankly. Mc being a worm is his most consistent trait so far, but even that is not always present, and level of trait fluctuate too. I will also mention here unrelated thing: mc should have felt completely different in this new body from the beginning. Even if he was a wimp in RL, his new body should have ton of testosterone in his blood, which should influence his aggression and confidence levels. Adrenaline should also be easy to come by. This is a nitpick at the scene where mc got his nose struck. Ps. I know I complain a lot, but as you must have noticed I keep reading your fic, so don't be discouraged.

Man, epic R-18 scene. thumbs up.

Was it only yesterday that mc wanted to kill himself over a bit of bullying? And suddenly he is feeling all superior to his peers? Even tho Mara is twisting him around her finger? Is that some hint you mentioned in the latest chapter or mc-being-idiot(lobotomised) or bad writing?

You should have fleshed out premise more in any case, some throw away lines about level of VR, about the way mc used to play. The way npc behaved before and why mc fears them all of sudden. Theoretically, for a gamer anything happens in VR world does not have any threat so he can go nuts GTA-style. To do otherwise is a waste of resources used to emulate the whole fckn world. Unlimited possibilities.

IDK man, All you said is correct and I kinda understand what you are thinking but logic seems unforgivably weak to me. Too many leaps.

To retcon character's personality he must have some consistent and recognizable one. Mc was just flopping around like half-dead fish from the beginning to this moment. You have thrown around some hints about 'possession' or whatever, but it's neither here nor there. In my opinion, as an author, you just do not have the skill to pull off something as ambitious as 'character growth'+'supernatural influence personality changes' moves. Writing style and grammar are pretty great, but the world and premise in my opinion did not have enough thinking put into them.

And just like that mc got more than anyone can ask for there is nothing left to strive for, but pursue some retarded goal author will bestow on mc. Dropped. Grammar is shit.

Yeah, you wake up in the game world, but people are made of meat instead of pixels and speak not exact two lines of dialogue but like normal human. What could possibly have happened, so confusing, I must live my life low key so I will wake up. - is what no one would ficking think.