It all started when my dad took the kids to the pool and since then he seems to have disappeared. I waited alongside my siblings, until we were finally sucked into a whirlpool that appeared. The End.
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NobleKei: Just the Synopsis alone is Worthy of 5 Stars, Let alone the Story. The Synopsis made me Cry, as this is my ideal as well. #NoHaremSect Forever!!!!!!Having Her as My Waifu, WHO NEEDS A HAREM?!
MicDragon: FINALLY SOMEONE WHO GETS IT. having a harem is bad ,back when i first started reading on webnovel I used to think that harems are okay but webnovel made me realize that harems are bad the hard way now i hate harems.......Having Her as My Waifu, WHO NEEDS A HAREM?!
crywolfseven: Seriously... he wasted a wish for a beautiful woman who will be forced to love him...Reborn in DC (anti-hero) · C1
Not_a_Penguin: 1 - 4 wishes
Me: Those are alright, could do better though.
Then the damn 5 comes along
I'm just going to let out a long SIGH.
Of course, what was I expecting, this is FUCKING WebNovel.Reborn in DC (anti-hero) · C1
dragonmage124: had to drop it by chapter 5 for a few reasons
1) parents of mc do nothing to teach mc (stopping him from zoning out like a corpse, or anything really they seem to think of him as an extra thus making me dislike the story even more then the other reasons since in a world where danger is everywhere teaching your kids the basics to live should be natural yet author pushes mc aside saying since he did poor in the first time he held a gun 2 adults [were one is just watching and not doing anything] were better at teaching one kid that showed some talent at swinging a sword) even when he is 5-6 yrs old
2)mc does nothing to learn on his own (really learning since if he did not space out so much and actually listened to his mom when she told him how to use the gun he might have hit that target without going out of his way to miss just "too see if she cared" when over his 5+ years she showed no care for him to the point he can even think she would not blink to remove him from his own twin if the twin did not complain) he just jumps at learning from the system with no questioning or hesitation he STEALS dust crystals from his own home (while knowing that they are costly items with lots of uses) or why he even is ok with it in the first place while even thinking of STEALING from others just to get system points to do things he has not been taught
3) without asking his parents about anything about aura too see if it has any training methods he picks self training and buying magic (to drain aura for said self made aura training) all the while knowing others may/can sense the drop in aura when using magic (and not thinking of possible risk like if magic is only usable by women or even asking/learning about different aura usages)
4)mc has a weak personality in 5 chapters we get more zoned out monologues and system info dumps while mc getting dragged around by someone since he lacks both awareness to the world around him and is constantly focusing on his monologues and system
5)lack of world building i can understand before he started speaking not learning anything but after (even if not for him since his parents show the little care they had for him while caring for his sister) having them learn to read/write/speak and get a general understanding of the world could have easily been done to start world building after all as a somewhat well off family that has lot of tools [unknown how costly writing tools are since no general teachings where given but since they had a lot of weapons , dust , writing scrolls i think they have to be well off since i never watched nor read rwby] teaching basics should have been normal..we do not even know how big of a house his is living in since all we get is he went to the yard the kitchen or the twins bedroom to tell us where he is at
6)in chapter 4 or 5 he just uses magic and tells a girl about his system with no awareness of the people that may be near or listening while knowing that others can be sensitive to aura usage [or even have better hearing since he never learns anything about anyone or anything]which was the last straw that told me this possible good story was ruined for my taste (since i only got a headache reading all the monologues, info dumps, foolishness of someone who is thinking of training to be strong enough to survive yet is constantly zoning out to the point anyone can move right next to him while his eyes are open and not notice even while constantly telling himself in those monologues that he needs to stay aware but instead of trying to stop zoning out he thinks only to buy some skills, all the while not gaining anything in the way of knowledge of the world around him only using what little he seems to remember from the story/show about the world to be his base of understanding )
the way the system was made was well thought out and might even have been great if things were different with the mc or even how due to him constantly knowing that much of it is locked he gets focused only on the system so earlyBook 1 of the System Series: In Remnant with Persona System
Kurumi523: that's a boring wish..
1. Getting stronger both body and soul just by existing.
2. Be able to access the Akashic Records to my will
3. No limiter in the body
4. Having 1 in infinity talent throughout the whole records
5. Granting the power dna manipulationEcho Reincarnation Journey Through Multiverse · C1
Black Tech Internet Cafe System · C818
Ammar_monim: Read it twice please update faster.Easy Cultivation · C35
violet_girl: This butter knife is 6.2 inches it will cut through air if you blow on it. It spreads butter smother than any knife in the east!Black Tech Internet Cafe System · C590
Precheur: The content has been deletedAgainst The Gods with an Anime System
Commanding Wind and Cloud · C590
Commanding Wind and Cloud · C589
Commanding Wind and Cloud · C588
EveryDayWaster: Now, when I started reading this novel, I tried so hard not to complain. It's just feels so rushed. Like the first 5 chaps are like wh-what so he dea- but now he's in the hospi- and eait hes killing people no- and it's yyyyyy. But cough cough, here's how I feel on the novel. MC : it's a better then average MC, like 4 star range. World backgrounds average, but it'd a bit early to say that. But as I know my back, I know NOTHING interesting, or well explained. (Maybe thats my fault as I was confused for info dumps.) STORY : Is again but still to early for reader to get thr juicy bits.
And thats a very bad and basic review of mine. (Probably the former)
So all I'll say untill a 100 chaps later is, slow down and explain ur stuff, add ways to show the viewers transitions, or just dont make ne miss somebody dead in a line. I look foward to what Mr.Author will bring.Super Farmer
A Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C29
A Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C13
uryx: Mag is just fine, you're only used to Mike/Michael. I actually prefer Mag, I also think you're thinking of MEG.A Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C13
mystichead: Mag to Mike
Father to Daddy DearestA Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C2
Darkload: Thanks for starting up this Novel that's also known as (Daddy Fantasy World Restaurant / Vú Em Chi Dị Giới Phòng Ăn / 奶爸的异界餐厅)A Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C1
Arusda: Use Mike or mass release them till kitchenovel chap to adapt to Mag. Kinda odd name for mc lolA Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C1
mystichead: Please use MikeA Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C1
mithun: Please use Mike instead of mag. Like kitchen novel translator.A Stay-at-home Dad's Restaurant In An Alternate World · C1
YaoYao: Well, a new way to reincarnate/travel to another world.
But still, truck-sama are you really that bored to make another human not to die and suffer when you "gently" touch them or because now your job of transporting people to another worlds is decreasing that you want to make others suffer ?
The next time you do your job please make them die.Sternritter Calendar (ATG fanfic) · C1
Zerak: I recommend editing the chapter.
First: I am not 100% sure but I am confident that they would inject him with something to help him feel no pain or to speed the presses, even if he has brain damage.
Second: the bad **** that happened in his life doesn’t make sense.
Sure the bullying can pass since kids do really said **** sometimes.
But his uncle is unlikely to cut his tongue out and he would probably die before help came. I would change it to something else. Like accidentally drinking some acid or a chemical that ****ed his tongue.
For the hearing you can change it to a robbery or something more likely to happen.
As for the teacher hitting him that would not happen. He is both blind and deaf so he would need very specialised care to be able to learn and anyone that is specialised for that would not be prone to violence.
I recommend changing it to just cancer or something other illnesses because getting punched will not make you lose your sense of smell.
As for the last one it’s possible to happen though I don’t know why someone like that would possibly be out on the street alone, so maybe falling down and hitting his head or something falling on him would be more appropriate
It would not change anything for the future of the story but it would improve the quality of it if you edit it that way or something similar.Sternritter Calendar (ATG fanfic) · C1
Black Tech Internet Cafe System · C387
Rakdos: Too bad no Final FantasyBlack Tech Internet Cafe System · C382
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