Nowmeis

1yr

Commented

I wonder how they'll choose, I can't imagine many would choose to leave the main sect that offers better cultivation prospects.

Thinking about this, Elder Song felt determined to quickly get the Half Spirit Race fully settled down so he could send some of their Nascent Soul Realm Experts out as elders to manage some of the branches under the Star Shattering Sect.

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Commented

*feeling

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Commented

*Hao feel even

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Commented

*positions in a few

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Commented

Do we know what stage it's at? Maybe it's something that the system may list in the future so we can see it's slow lazy progress.

Pet: Lazy Winged Lion

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Commented

*Back then when he and *Realm he was faced

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Commented

I suppose it's more of a word choice suggestion but thunder is the noise created by lighting (and thunderstrike isn't a word) maybe you were reaching for lightning strike or maybe you like it how it is. It could also read clap of thunder or thunderclap.

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Replied to Nowmeis

And now I look in the previous chapter too (you've written lighting rather than lightning to be clear)

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Replied to Nowmeis

Mistake is continued in further paragraphs

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Commented

"the dark red lighting clouds"? Making it sound like mood lighting, maybe it should say lightning

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Commented

*nascent soul, Chu Yang delete or reword repeated phrase

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Commented

It feels wrong that the entire Half Spirit Race would abandon their ancestral home and heritage in less than a year. Having been isolated so long and being wary of strangers you would think they'd take longer to integrate far less leave their homes even if they are only going a short distance away.

Time slowly passed in the Star Shattering Sect and soon enough the entirety of the Half Spirit Race moved into the Seventh Star Peak. Given that all of them were at least in the Qi Condensation Realm, it was not hard for all of the Half Spirit Race to move to the Seventh Star Peak.

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Commented

*his disciples moving

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Replied to Nowmeis

Also the kingdoms ran away and relocated?

Cultivating Disciples to Breakthrough

Eastern · PurpleSpring

Nowmeis

1yr

Commented

*reason, some of the sects and *decided to take Reads poorly as is, due to using "either" then only presenting one action. Leaving the second disjointed and segregated into a new paragraph.