Some_Random_Man - Profile

Some_Random_Man

male LV 4
2019-05-07 Joined United States

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Posted
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Some_Random_Man
Some_Random_Man
Posted
keep in mind that this is not coming from a professional book critic but from someone who just wishes to find (in my opinion) the perfect fanfiction, I hope that this comment does not deter you from reading this fanfiction, but instead let's you go in prepared for what 'obstacles' might be in your way. Again, I am not a professional book critic, if you find something that contradicts my review, dont try and rub it in my face, just try to keep enjoying the fanfiction as I did I made this review not in hopes of having the author change the way he is writing this story, but to tell future readers of how the story plays out in terms of both writing quality, character quality, and some inbetweens. The first upside is that this idea for a fanfiction is kind of unique in the fact that it has a shinobi that has the ability to fluidly use elements as he wishes without hand signs, the only downside of the story though is the fact that even though the titles implies that said shinobi will only be the God of seven elements, we see later on that he is able to use elements that were previously not mentioned or were intended to be used later, an example being onokis particle/dust release. The next part I wish to move onto is the pacing of the story, though you get a almost linear timeline in the last few chapters about what have happened, you dont really get enough time in a 'event' as I will call it to really comprehend what was completely going on, an example being the death of Tobirama (if that is what I can recall off of memory). Some of the character fight scenes or dialogue scenes also are fast paced, and not like fast paced fist fight blood pumping action type fast paced, but fast paced as in, if it wasnt animated, you cant really tell what is going on, a main example of this being the recent fight between the protagonist seth and madara. We never really get a clear record of what is happening or who is winning in the fight until it is explicitly said at the end of the fight (no spoilers). The next topic I wish to talk about is grammar, which at a glance and with thorough reading isn't bad, it is just that you sometimes have to replace words with one another, although that is not something a casual reader wishes to do. The final topic is character development. While I dont have much to say, being as the only OC is Seth, I do want to point out that his personality does change from 'neutral lawful' (being as he mainly made jokes and never really cared for war, mainly wanting to stop war) to 'chaotic neutral' (he kinda gave up on trying to stop wars and never really bothered to care about what should happen should he kill people) (sorry for spoilers). This change happens quater frequently with his main being 'chaotic neutral'
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