I like Yanderes, surfing webnovel for good fanfics, writing philosophical comments that blow peoples minds, JoJo references, any anime reference and I hate it when people insult me for no good reason.
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Playing with other Supernaturals · C14
Kul: No harem just them togther i totally support this relationship!!!Playing with other Supernaturals · C9
Peace12345: Finally they got together.Playing with other Supernaturals · C9
amaturewriter: YES I SUPPORT THIS SHIP!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!Playing with other Supernaturals · C9
AliefLucas: You should use -san instead mr. since it will make it more feel like kisuke.Playing with other Supernaturals · C5
SangN123: Hope he gets his hat, cane, and the fan just to mock people as beforePlaying with other Supernaturals · C4
Goyya: I really want him to become older than the MCs but it is hard to give kisuke a reason care about them aside from being supernaturals and even with that, it wont be a meaningful care.
Spoiler Alert in maybe 1 or 2 chapters: I plan to make him issei's childhood friend and he sees issei as little brother. just to give him a reason to get involvePlaying with other Supernaturals · C2
josept95: I just started reading the novel, first mistake, kisuke is not a pervert and does not think about romance, he is a curious person, besides being calm what makes me seem naive, what makes people underestimate him and do not forget that he is the most intelligent person of all the whiteners, another point is that when he speaks he is educated he is never outgoing, in addition to being a person of science who always seeks more knowledge, so I hope not to meet later with a kisuke, a pervert that has harem, because the original kisuke is not like that.Playing with other Supernaturals · C2
Atals: oh and have him and azazel meet i think they are just like one another and would be great friendsPlaying with other Supernaturals · C2
SnowofBlood: Be careful, you have to remember even if Kisuke can be considered be a " good " guy, he is quite ruthless and calculative in his action so don't make him saving the poor and orphan, he pursue knowledge and I really like this scientist side of him. And please don't make him join a peerage, you can make him older than issei, rias... and he can open a strandy candy shop before the cannon plot.Playing with other Supernaturals · C2
I am in Harry Potter! · C25
amaturewriter: NOP..JUST TRAVEL...HINT ...HINTI am in Harry Potter! · C16
Akshay007: Your writing style now staring to form a unique form.....
If you continue like this...
It will help you in many other novel that you will write in the upcoming future...
Or in this novel....
Good luck... 👍😘😍I am in Harry Potter! · C16
oninick: Its so fluffy I want to die!!!!! Thank you good sir won’t be too long till you’re no longer AmateursWriter soon to VeteranWriter!I am in Harry Potter! · C16
Jerry0: Yesssss!! I get the basilisk tamed thanks author guy!I am in Harry Potter! · C16
Flawless_Saber_Dao: Somebody find those damn onion cutting ninjas..I am in Harry Potter! · C16
Godread: Wow This chapter is the best ... thank you for this extraordinary novel. ... the best MC, the best daphenI am in Harry Potter! · C16
I am in Harry Potter! · C13
amaturewriter: YEP, HELP IN YEAR 4I am in Harry Potter! · C12
amaturewriter: Appreciate the support :)I am in Harry Potter! · C9
ZackN: Isn’t the mc supposed to be able to lift 3 tons? If so how is he defenseless when he runs out of magic. Or did I get the whole three tons wrong and that’s just the maximum amount he can lift if he trains.I am in Harry Potter! · C5
I am in Harry Potter! · C5
F1nal: What happend with the regen powers? Wouldnt it remove all scaring?I am in Harry Potter! · C3
I am in Harry Potter! · C3
Frytrix: When the character is op,
The author makes it slice of life to ensure the story stays alive 50% of the time.A Lazy Man's Adventure · C22
Jetstorm: This thread is longer than most chaps of books I've read...Mutagen
BejayOtamega: I can't believe I've spent 29 mins reading this whole thread. What have I done with my life. Smh.Mutagen
PettyOfficer: I expected the gangsters to have more guns. The MC was easily able to swipe one off a security guard. So why can’t the gangsters do so? Where did they get the first gun, anyway? Anyway, what was the reason for taking the Boss alive? Getting info where he got a gun?
Why the Hell did the MC forget taking the Boss hostage? While he was zoning out over the female love interest, the gangster could have knifed him for revenge. After all, you showed a cornered man doing mutual destruction already. It would’ve been good for character development and breaking the mood of the cliché for the Boss to do one final act.
Now you say the cinema is sound proofed. But you also said in the fiction that the gunshot was loud and clear. It attracted zombies. Now which is it? The gunshot lured zombies or it didn’t? Because it clearly did according to the fiction.
Also, my main point wasn’t having the mom clean up Mei. It was the gangster r*ping her all over and covering her with his jizz. A man is realistically unable to blow that many loads. How much time has passed since the outbreak? It’s been less than a day, probably an hour or two. What the f**k is that?
And you again show your favoritism for women. You didn’t bother to name the employee. It’s depressing. You wonder why I called the MC a harem maker now? You didn’t bother detailing other men. He doesn’t matter enough to you.
Mother walking after an hour or so later, my *ss. Sprains don’t heal that quickly, like I said. She’d also be useless to run away from zombies, let alone carrying the 30-50 lbs baggage of her daughter.
The rich fatty did hold everyone hostage. It’s how he forced the employees to close the shutters. I admit I was wrong about him killing someone.
The flashbacks were horrendous. This was TWO chapters worth. I’m pretty sure none of the other characters had this much dedication to their backstory. It was also a jarring tangent. The cliché made it worse. You might as well have brushed past it or started the story from here.
Too many flashbacks makes the reader have too much infodumping. We don’t remember all of it and we won’t care if it’s boring.
No sh*t I suspect a harem. You’re doing every cliché to jam in as many female baggages on the MC’s plate. You didn’t bother naming or directly describing the male employee’s intentions outright. All I see is that you care way more about describing the woman than moving the story forward. Especially with the TWO chapters of flashbacks.
I don’t CARE about chapter 132. I’m on chapter f**king 18. I can’t predict over 100 chapters in advance. I’m not God.
Your problem is that you have too many clichés happening at once. Pretty much every encounter is a cliché and every character is based off of a cliché. Your characters act on a cliché manner. They solve their problems in a cliché way. Nothing feels completely unique. That’s the problem.
Your biggest problem as a writer is saying “there is a reason” as an excuse. To us readers, we hear you say, “don’t worry, in the future, I covered up this plot hole.”
You’re the “mystery man” saying there is always a plan, but all the plans we see are absolute ****. There are always inconsistencies that are bugging readers and it doesn’t help that you’d rather waste chapters describing women instead of describing the plot.
We give up because we think you’re doing the carrot on a stick method. In honesty, it is. It’s too much effort for readers to swim through that cliché mess and be disappointed again and again. The answer is always somewhere near, but it’s not here. Or the answer is here, but you don’t understand it.
F**k. We readers understand it. The reason is ****. It’s plot armor.Mutagen
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