Kiradeux

1d

Commented

Author - you are seriously dancing on the tip of a needle with these chapters. MC is a borderline terrorist with his actions, but the ministry keeps f-ing up just enough to keep him on the side of "revolutionary" as well. Well done.

ch 145 Chapter 145: Dragon's Might

Harry Potter: Journey to Godhood

Book&Literature · bobthewriter

Kiradeux

1d

Commented

Yes. Canonically yes. Absolutely.

"Blaming others for your own failures. Is this how the Ministry operates?

Harry Potter: Journey to Godhood

Book&Literature · bobthewriter

Kiradeux

1d

Commented

Alright. Stop here. Let's talk political ramifications of this statement. This statement is effectively saying "The ministry has sent dementors to assassinate your children" to half the Wizengamot. This statement right here? Yeah, it just killed the Ministry of Magic. If not for Fudge doubling down on this, Alaric's actions would be in the range of Terrorist or Dark Lord, but this statement was the Ministry of Magic admitting responsibility for the attempted assassination of the children of several highly placed political trustees. Even Putin, with all his power, couldn't get away with openly admitting like this.

Thus, all that came out of his mouth was a feeble attempt at defense. "Th-that was just an...an accident. The Ministry still...has control over the Dementors."

Harry Potter: Journey to Godhood

Book&Literature · bobthewriter

Kiradeux

2d

Replied to Simo_Dragon

According to the synopsis, it's an original world... It seems to be based around a re:zero style magic system mixed with Irregular@MagicHigh politics... Gotta admit it feels kinda iffy with the MC just lurking in the house still though.

ch 84 The Library

Looking Forward to Another World

Anime & Comics · VALRRR

Kiradeux

18d

Commented

Y'know, considering that devils rely on contracts as a core principal of their continued existence, he's really explaining this the wrong way. Whether written or verbal, Kuroka entered a contract with her master when she accepted her evil piece, and her "master" was in the process of violating her side of said contract. If the devil higher up's DON'T do anything about that and the information gets out? Oohooo, the devils are doomed - completely doomed, not just a misfortune. Just ask Cleria Belial how devils treat any evidence of contract violations to avoid such issues.

"She did," admitted Riser, an ironic smile playing on his lips. "But her former master wanted to experiment on her and her sister, and you more than anyone understand what sisterly love is."

Kiradeux

1mth

Replied to Kiradeux

I'll note, while Ants do have higher potential strength, they lack the regeneration of spiders that allows Peter to get stronger faster than an ant ever could. A human sized ant would lack the ability to climb walls without damaging them due to how they actually climb (Essentially clawing into the surface of the material). No enhanced equilibrium or precog, minimal enhancements to reflexes and agility, no enhancement to intelligence or learning. Ants are boring.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Harry thought more about cross-species gene transformation these days and suddenly He had an Idea. Who was the best in cross-species gene research? Spiderman's' Father Richard Parker successfully fused spider DNA with humans. Harry didn't want a spider serum no He had set his sights on another creature for his base. Ants

Spells and Super Soldiers (HP/MCU) (SI)

Movies · Night_wizard

Kiradeux

1mth

Commented

-_- Really? Ants? You're crossing worlds and going with Ants? Sphinx, Nundu, Dragon, Thunderbird, Basilisk, Acromantula, Manticore. It'd be nice if the MC at least considered some of these instead of keeping a narrowminded approach. Bleh, ants are boring.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Harry thought more about cross-species gene transformation these days and suddenly He had an Idea. Who was the best in cross-species gene research? Spiderman's' Father Richard Parker successfully fused spider DNA with humans. Harry didn't want a spider serum no He had set his sights on another creature for his base. Ants

Spells and Super Soldiers (HP/MCU) (SI)

Movies · Night_wizard

Kiradeux

1mth

Posted

Enough tension to snap the string. The early story never lets go of the tension for a moment. Honestly, I wasn't going to review until the author introduced other enhanced individuals - Everyone else is the ultimate version while MC's just an idiot with the powers of an energy starved nerfed version of a nerfed version on the deathbed with cancer. Even with an interdimensional storage at his behest, he gives away his weapons at first opportunity, every single time. The MC doesn't do anything except rush in head first. He doesn't think of any alternatives besides "HEY, Dante could do this!" and just blindly ignores other options. It doesn't help that the X-Men also seem to believe they can legally incarcerate someone.

In Marvel As Dante

Movies · RaedaX_1

Kiradeux

1mth

Commented

I get wanting to change it, but wouldn't it have been better to make a new story and add a chapter saying "This is being rewritten under <title>"? Even if you wanted to keep the title, you could have renamed this one to match. *shrug* Honestly, this story was above par for Webnovel, so I'm kinda sad to see what was here go.

ch 0 7 Announcement

A Kitsune in remnant

Anime & Comics · Nether_Ark

Kiradeux

1mth

Replied to Unstable_One

Some general advice; When writing fanfics, if you're going to use canon events - particularly when using idiotic canon events that the original writers f'd up on - you can generally skip a lot of the details. No one actually likes MC Baby chapters where the MC can't do anything, and a lot can be implied using canon as a crutch. Seriously, the tv scriptwriters for Daisy were idiots, they kinda forced a backstory in when it came up - largely because she doesn't really fit with the comic origin well enough.

ch 0 7 An Agent’s Last Stand

Inhuman Sorcerer in The MCU

Movies · MorTemTK

Kiradeux

1mth

Commented

Supreme Hubris: Idiots, Endangerment and Larceny Division.

ch 0 6 Escape - Part 2

Inhuman Sorcerer in The MCU

Movies · MorTemTK

Kiradeux

1mth

Commented

I'm not suggesting to drop this, but it might help you feel out a solution if you draw out an outline with plot points - all in point form - of how you'd write the story now, then compare it against what happened.

Now this doesn't mean I'm dropping it, I would be a hypocrite when I said I hate it when authors drop their stories.

A Kitsune in remnant

Anime & Comics · Nether_Ark

Kiradeux

2mth

Posted

Most of the time the MC is a bland robot, very rarely peaking out to say something cringeworthy before returning to robot-hood. The main character lies habitually; the author uses the MC's lies to drag on plotlines which could theoretically be resolved into a mess - these illogical lies are despite him being generally robotic. The actual visible Falna updates are few and far between with minimal visible progress in what is shown.

The ultimate witch king/Ultimate Sorcerer King in the World of Comics

Anime & Comics · Jer0086

Kiradeux

2mth

Commented

Oh ffs, The MC is a stupid Hermione. -_-

"Uh..." Leo was once again at a loss for words. How should he explain that he hadn't encountered a single monster on his way and had smoothly reached the ninth floor?

The ultimate witch king/Ultimate Sorcerer King in the World of Comics

Anime & Comics · Jer0086

Kiradeux

2mth

Commented

-_- The League couldn't be this self-righteous about killing when dealing with attacks on their *civilian* homes - especially not when coming home to half-dead guests in a State that has active "Stand your ground" laws.

ch 39 Return

Just Saiyan (DBZ/DC)

Anime & Comics · Draugzel

Kiradeux

2mth

Replied to Morgan_Gibson

Erm, not sure if you're aware, but the Revan you play as in KotOR is far weaker than him performing at his peak. Revan at his peak power would probably be when he ignited the Star Forge, channeling more than enough power in The Force to destroy a solar system if directed differently. He was actually insanely powerful, even if he couldn't consistently act as a conduit for that much of The Force.

There are foes he will still struggle against like Mace Windu, Yoda, Plo Koon, Sidious and several others.

Star Wars: Scion Of The Sun

Anime & Comics · ArifuretaForever

Kiradeux

2mth

Posted

This author doesn't do butterflies; he uses forced plot correction to force them to go away. There's talk about avoiding melodrama and avoiding Dumbledore bashing, but then talks about dumbles doing memory manipulation and what is effectively mind control as if it's a good thing while turning every other character in the story into doormats - and of course, confirms in an author note that he wants the MC to be a doormat too! General suggestion to the author: If you want to just explore the magical world and not worry about shit? Either eliminate MC baggage through non-deus-ex-machina, or make the MC someone else. This method of doing it flattens out the MC's personality for the rest of the story.

Harry Potter and the Silent Guardian

Book&Literature · TalesByJaz

Kiradeux

2mth

Commented

"Hello, Dumb-as-a-door dark lord manufactory! We make em, you suffer! What can we do to ruin the future today?"

After a pause, he continued, "I propose a new ward scheme for your new home. However, there is a limitation to this ward scheme. For the greatest effect, the ward can only accommodate three people. The number three is a strong magical number, and it will give the wards the most power."