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lil_bitch

lil_bitch

male LV 13
2019-10-03 Joined Canada

Badges 9

Moments 351

lil_bitch
Commented
Why would he do that?

A waiter approached them as soon as he sat down, and Qin Feng ordered his meal in broken Arabic, but unbeknownst to him, Keith knew very well that the man in front of him was fluent in this language.

Villain: The Play of Destiny

Villain: The Play of Destiny

Fantasy · FateDevilAce

lil_bitch
Commented
What did he reply to?

"Yes, thank you," he replied, vigorously holding the young heroine's hand, a little thought in his mind. "How's your first day on the job?"

My Hormonal Control Quirk

My Hormonal Control Quirk

Anime & Comics · Shinoerah

lil_bitch
lil_bitch
lil_bitch
lil_bitch
lil_bitch
lil_bitch
lil_bitch
Replied to Divine_rod
Why would you want that? If you don't got s.th good to say, say nothing.

There was a lot more details that I didn't add. Especially in the part between my first performance and the decades after that. The young me was very passionate about my dreams and a LOT of things had to happen for me to finally put it down for good. Like how at one point, I seriously considered running away and cutting all ties with the ducal household, or when I realized how low my sister had fallen due to envy.

Fulfilling my Lustful Fantasies

Fulfilling my Lustful Fantasies

Fantasy · Fnatic_Fan

lil_bitch
Commented
Either say 'there was a lot more detail' or 'there were a lot more details'.

There was a lot more details that I didn't add. Especially in the part between my first performance and the decades after that. The young me was very passionate about my dreams and a LOT of things had to happen for me to finally put it down for good. Like how at one point, I seriously considered running away and cutting all ties with the ducal household, or when I realized how low my sister had fallen due to envy.

Fulfilling my Lustful Fantasies

Fulfilling my Lustful Fantasies

Fantasy · Fnatic_Fan

lil_bitch
Commented
stick to present or past tense. Don't bounce between both in the same paragraph.

Everything that he makes has styles and patterns, that are unique to him and only him. And it wasn't just different for the sake of being different. It is something that is genuinely good- it was pleasant to the ears, it sounded natural, it progressed beautifully. No matter where I look, I cannot find any compositions that share any similarities with the things that he's shown me.

Fulfilling my Lustful Fantasies

Fulfilling my Lustful Fantasies

Fantasy · Fnatic_Fan

lil_bitch
Commented
perhaps saying 'he would' rather than 'will' would be more fluent.

He still has a few years left where his growth would be at a similar rate to that of a human's. After that he will join me and the rest of elvish society and have their appearance get seemingly frozen in time.

Fulfilling my Lustful Fantasies

Fulfilling my Lustful Fantasies

Fantasy · Fnatic_Fan

lil_bitch
Commented
Perhaps to should be 'I can not'

But how embarrassing would it be for me if he was able to somehow manage to escape from my clutches and overpower me at such a young age? I can, and will not, allow him to leave my embrace until I'm satisfied.

Fulfilling my Lustful Fantasies

Fulfilling my Lustful Fantasies

Fantasy · Fnatic_Fan

lil_bitch
Replied to prcvsl
lol just reread it

I did some writing on the side to see if my writing quality is up to par with how it previously was, and I'm feeling confident again so I feel like I could resume this one. Again, if you're still one of the readers who are still reading this after more than a year of no updates, I will do my best to write quality chapters to make up for it.

Fulfilling my Lustful Fantasies

Fulfilling my Lustful Fantasies

Fantasy · Fnatic_Fan

lil_bitch
lil_bitch
Replied to Sinful_Cyanide
this is a gross over-generalization.

Not all nurses or doctors were necessarily altruistic, but this did not change the fact that their job was to save lives. They were worthy of respect and he didn't want to show them a scowl.

God of Crime: Strongest Mafia Boss

God of Crime: Strongest Mafia Boss

Fantasy · HIKARU_GENJI

lil_bitch
lil_bitch
Replied to Magecrafter
Just wanted to say I like how you accept and appreciate mistakes rather than others who get pissed off or ignore them. Also, it sounds better to put the word “though” before the rest of the sentence. Like this: “though, there might be loot!” But as a native speaker, it’s prolly better to just leave the comma so “there might be loot though!”
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Rise Of The Hoarder

Rise Of The Hoarder

Fantasy · Magecrafter

lil_bitch
lil_bitch
Replied to NEETsoc
Ye I’m out as well. Man’s writing with his emotions rather than his head

Having the memories of Julian, Berengar was now a closet atheist. Nevertheless, he still put on the appearance of a devout Catholic because he knew the consequences a man of science would endure in this primitive era. It would take decades, but maybe he could usher in the scientific revolution a bit earlier than in his own timeline if he worked hard at it.

Tyranny of Steel

Tyranny of Steel

History · Zentmeister

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