AntNumber4825 - Profile

I’m writing this review while the novel only has 26 chapters. The writing quality is great so far and the only complaint I have is that there aren’t more chapters yet. This isn’t this author’s first novel and with their other story they have shown that they can plan a good narrative and keep it interesting over time, so I have high hopes for this one as well.

I have only just started reading this novel so I can’t comment on much, but I have noticed something I think the author should know. The writing in chapter 8 is pretty awkward. I could tell something was off in the previous chapters but I wasn’t able to pin point it until now. I finally realized the problem while reading the fight scenes of chapter 8. The tense frequently switches from past tense to present tense. One of the main rules in writing is to choose a tense and stick with it. Otherwise it makes the pacing of each scene feel all messed up and off. Going back and editing all of the chapters with conflicting tenses and converting them all into past tense would make the story flow a lot smoother and improve the general quality of the writing. I recommend past tense because it is the one more suited to this kind of story. If you would like specific examples of where I think these problems are and could be improved. I would be happy to help.

The story isn’t bad. That is about the only good thing I can say. I read till chapter 81 to see if it was worth paying for and it is not. The best way to describe the writing is that it seems like you are reading the spark notes of the real story. Some parts even seem to be written by a 9 year old. For example one part the MC did something another character didn’t like and the exchange went like this. ”I don’t think he liked me doing that. The mage then said I don’t like that you did that.” This is by no means a criticism of the story, but a critique of the writing. If the you don’t mind a lack of personality in your characters and enjoy when stories jump around and don’t flow well they you might be able to enjoy this novel.