Webnovel Author: Godack - Novel&Fanfic Collection

Should consider doing a rewrite of the first dozen chapters, you are spelling the words correctly but you are also forgetting to use some words at the same time. Sentences go on for a bit too long, some could use a comma and others would be better if you put a full stop there instead of a comma. I also recommend to change your format a little bit, for example you start sentences with : 'He answered "Yes."' instead of '"Yes." He answered'. The character himself is a bit too energetic for realism, but this story isn't really written as a what if situation and more of a this is what I think I would do in a situation. The story itself is more original than most of the stories on this forsaken website, but the over al quality doesn't make it stick out enough. A rewrite is easy enough but because I guess English is your second+ language I can understand it being difficult. The only problem I actually do have with this story is that I see really old comments and reviews about the grammar and it not being correct in the chapters. Doesn't give a good impression, but alas, you write for fun and practice...

Wonderful story, had me drawn in the whole 17 chapters that are currently released. The Idea of this story is one I haven't come across yet as but it tickles all my fancies. This review may be a bit too early but I want to write this now as to show the author that his story is something people enjoy, I've written some stories myself and I know how it feels when people are silent and don't say anything about your story. The writing quality is, as of so far, top quality. The grammar and vocabulary make the story flow fluent as is makes it so your attention isn't lost whilst reading. For the past six days 17 chapters have been uploaded, I don't know if the author stockpiled the chapters or simply writes fast with good quality but I'd say it is five star worthy. Story development is a bit of an iffy, because the story is in its early stage so I don't know how it will progress from here on out. But from what I have read so far I can say that it made sense, a bit fast paced but nothing I couldn't handle. Character design is very simple, with the theme of this story being that the Main character has lost his mind it would be evident that his design wouldn't be grandiose. There hasn't been enough time to really judge the side-characters fully by I enjoy it, though they are maybe a bit too accepting of the events that are currently happening, but that can be explained by the fact that they are living in a sort of utopia. World background is still vague but what can you expect when the story has just begun. Though it is shaping up to be something I know I will like. Conclusion, story is good and I like the concept. Definitely a read I recommend. Total rating : 4.4

your fat sister

He's probably a masochist too, so this wouldn't really work.

best girl.

Writing Quality: 3*: The grammar is fine but because the way the story is written I have to give it 3*. Why? I will have to share how interpret how this story is written. [Main character meets an important character: main character-sanchankunkohai please call me idiot-samakunsanchanniinee] I just can't read the story normally. Updates are fine. Story development 3*. The beginning started out fine but then it just stagnated, it took multiple chapters for one day where I felt like there wasn't even much plot development besides the obvious ranting of the main character. Character design 2*. I liked the prospect of the main character but it all came crashing down when he started interacting with his surroundings. At first I though that that aunt person would be the only one but then it just became worse and worse untill I coun't read any further. World background 2*. In the couple dozen chapters I've read I haven't really learned anything significant about how the world works and what it actually is, my initial guess was that it was an original world with characters from anime etc but then apperantly it was a cliche anime world full of 2d cardboard characters that filled the world. Total score 3.0*. Now don't start saying that I am bad mouthing the story because I will admit that I am doing it but it is still a review on my opinion of the story, but this is in no way trying to discourage you from reading as you have your onw opinion and weird fetishes(though you have to have some weird and sick mind to like such fetishes[Opinion]) so don't start hating. Now my personal opinion: this story is just another generic cliche (Harem/romance/r-18) story on this cursed website that will be long forgotten after the author either drops it or finishes it.

And don't say that the mc isn't OP, he is. Maybe not to OAA standards but he is easily stronger with what powers his system shows he got.

Writing quality 2* : It feels like it is written like how a chinese novel is written only with worse grammer. Stability of updates 2* : There is no stability of updates as they are randomly posted, 2* are given because the time between chapters isn't very long. (There are a dozen or so chapters that is just spam that add nothing to the story which makes the rating drop.) Stroy development 1* : It is all over the place and the bad grammer doesn't make it easier to follow, the story premise itself is okay. (The author said he didn't want his main character to be too OP but that's just bullshit as the main character is very OP, immortal/time control/creating life are just few of the main characters abilities) Character Design 1* : Due to the way the author writes it feels as if the characters are robots who are given pre-uploaded personalities. World background 3* : I gave 3* because it's marvel but nothing else particularly stood out to me that the author added himself that improved an already existing story. Total score : 1.8 My review may be harsh even though I liked reading it as everything that has something to do with marvel exites me, it's just very badly executed. I hope you improve your writing capabilities along the way. (This is in no way to discurage the author for writing.)

bit weird innit?