Webnovel Author: White_Falcon21 - Novel Collection

Thank you very much. We hope you could enjoy your reading to fill your idle time. By the way, I'm planning to launch second book of this series.

Welcome to Dead/Lost World where violence and rape is a common sense for human to conquer other races and "peaceful" world is just a fleeting dream in this world! I invite you, all readers of Japanese-based novels (LN) and players of "certain tabletop game" to join in my world and sink inside it! I, as The Maker can promise you a long chapter with great details unlike normal novels when the MC got reincarnated into a world where Demon Lord, Evil Lord, Evil God, or Evil Hero is just the stupid, useless main antagonist and can be defeated by such a normal guy or girl with lot of cheat skills from useless Gods who aren't omnipotent until they can't defeat their own nemesis by themselves! If you are bored with that kind of story, as well as "harem" tag or a "hero" (plus a hero who assists other characters secretly) character who always be praised by their weak friends and useless waifus, come and sink yourself in this hell, pleasured by the Lust Demon Gods' hands while your dices are "played" by them! "Remember, the world is evil and once you believed in someone, you have lost in this never-ending game..."

Thank you!

Thank you for your honest review, Lady! God Bless Over Your Honesty.

I look on the people's reaction around "them". I also won't look into it carefully, since your story is understandable so far.

Let's get started for reviewing...? Writing Quality Good, the grammar is OK for me. But please divide the actual conversation and text to avoid a confusion. Stability of Updates: I won't criticize this. But at lease please consider upload 1 chapter every day. How can you do that? Simply, write four pages in MS Word for 2k until 3k words for each of the chapter, keep writing until at least you can cover 1 month full of upload then upload it one by one everyday automatically by system. Story Development I think you are describing about past events? The story flow is really fast and some of the stories skipped. Honestly, I had a hard time understanding your story and its flow. Character Design: Good. I found no faults when you are describing a character. Except, I hardly understand about their life background. World Background: Since it's still in the beginning, I won't make a review about it. But I love how you describe every races and how they find a mate in details. Sincerely Dead/Lost Novel and Manga Writer.

Writing Quality: (How many times I have been writing like this thing in other novels?) Please separate actual conversation and text. E.g: "I don't like..." F said then A nodded and said "I also..." Into F said that she doesn't like of...and A agreed with her. or F sighs, "I don't like..." "Me too..." A nodded. Somehow the conversation line in the novel make the novel is...kinda off from track? I ask thee, did you want to write Japanese-styled LN or novel? The concept of writing itself is important, even Japanese LN doesn't has too many conversation line in each of chapter. But the authors of Japanese LN often write like this: "Cast! Vortex!" (Zeke) "Heh!" (Audrey) (Which makes the LN is more confusing in translation and to read) Your novel gives off vibe of "Mirai Nikki" anime, but your novel has two yandere characters inside it (I think?). I won't criticize your grammar since both of us aren't a native english speaker, but at least...I suggest you to write: (Line) (Long Text) (Long Text/Line) Again So, you could save more space and writing more text! XD Also, you don't really need to write "Flashback" or "Flashback Ends" at every "past events" UNLESS you write an EPISODE-like chapter. But I can strongly suggest you not to use that too much otherwise your story would be "boring". Since it's a thriller, horror, and gore-type novel, You at least need to write and describe the "terrifying situations" the MC or dying sub-characters faced. Not explaining them via "conversation lines". For example, look like when you described Fleur ran from the hooded man, from her felt something off until blended in the crowd. When I was reading that, I can "felt" what if I was Fleur on that place. Stability of Updates: Every authors have their own problem that delay or prevent them from writing or uploading new chapters. Therefore, I won't criticize this. Story Development: Yeah, I understand it. Someone wants to make Fleur to become him only, by killing someone who tries to "hit" on her. It needs more detailing story flow, so the readers who aren't into "Romance" Novel can "following the flow" and "feel the same way". Character Design: I know and can imagine about Fleur and Axel's appearance, but how about Aisha and Colt? The readers need to "know" what kind of appearance the "main supportive characters" have. You can follow this formula: Physical Appearance, Character (Sorrowful, Envious, etc), and Life Background, so you can skip few sentences of phrases to describe them. You had understood this when you described about Fleur and Axel. So keep it up for other characters! World Background: SInce this story located on the modern city in modern era, I won't say anything. I will only make a review if someone writes a fantasy story. But, I suggest you to explain at least a little, the city where Fleur lives, as well as the environment (social or physical ones) around her. So, the readers can "diving" into your story more deeper. (Well, I know Fleur de Lis is Chevalier d'Eon's NP, XD) I hope you could fix your mistakes and make another good chapter! Be healthy and stay safe, since COVID-19 case in Philippines is rather high between countries in SEA. (Welp, don't get me wrong. I'm not a nitpicker. I just want someone's story who has a stable "footstep" become brighter than their originally are. I'm also love gore, yandere story like this) Sincerely, Dead/Lost Novel and Manga Writer.

It's time to make a review for this novel! I'm really sorry I can do it this time since I didn't have many times on the past. What am I talking about? Let's make a review! Writing Quality: Nothing wrong, the majority of phrases are fine for me. But please, separate actual conversation and major text since it's confusing to read and doesn't has "aesthetic view" For example: The Emperor walks out, "...off with her head" (New text) Then few black knights come and drag... Stability of Updates: You have stopped uploading since May...truly sad. I hope you can upload new chapters again. Story Development: Good, a story from miserable child who abandoned by her father, seeking a truth behind her birth (I can predict her story would be like that in the future). Character Design: Just follow this formula: Physical Appearance, Character (Grumpy, etc), and Background Life then you can skip whole page describing a character. World Background: Nice, medieval set fantasy, I want to see what's next. That's all for me! I hope you can keep writing and uploading new chapters again! Sincerely Dead/Lost Novel and Manga Author.

True, I'm also feel same. Could you please give Dead/Lost a review too? Since it's also a fantasy novel that far different from normal isekai novel today.

Ugh, finally I have a free time after almost a month working without resting properly. You know, do not ever wished to work for animation or publisher industry Well, where is my manner? Let's get started! Writing Quality (SSG) I don't find something strange or wrong in the story, really. Except the word "fished" in the late 3 chapters. I don't know it means "finished" or literally "fished" (since I think it doesn't has a connection to the related sentence?), but you might try to check it out, or maybe I'm the one who wrong this time. The story is paced in slow and steady flow, somehow I really like it. Just don't forget to separate actual conversation and text. This is just minor issue that you can found on beginning late until middle chapters. Example: Z said "I would like to..." and his face turns sad until make... To: Z's face turns sad, "I would like to..." (New text) His expression makes A pitying him, etc. Stability of Updates (TA) Every author has his/her own problems that delay / prevent them from uploading new chapters, so I don't have any rights to criticize about your "uploading time". Story Development (SSG) The story development is related with your writing quality and story pace itself. It's all started with MC fired from his job, "reincarnated" into a baby after entered the capsule, adopted by good parents, named "Razak" then abandoned, adopted by a drunkard, abused then abandoned again before ended up adopted by a rich man...Mr.Grace who wants to become a Tribe Leader. Then, he enrolled to a Magic School and met support character, as well as potential heroine(?). The latest chapter described about he that wants to make a club, before "opposed" (confronted) by student council, which led us to first minor climax. Like I wrote above, your story pace is good and nothing wrong with it. But remember, in school, there is an organization that more powerful than student council, for example "Class Representative Assembly" (and etc) who has a duty to "oversee" the student council's work. And then, making a student council is like an "overpower", "sacred" (prestigious), "elite" and "scary" (intimidating) organization whom "respected" and "admired" by normal students is kind of "cliche" idea. You, at least "should" try to make your own "school organization" that far different from normal cliche student council, so the reader could get "new PoV". If you could make 108 tribes, why you couldn't make just one school organization? I think the use of "OP student council" idea should be reduced for your future novels (or other writer's novel), so the readers wouldn't be "trapped" in wrong idea of student council. But since this is a "FANTASY" type novel, my suggestion above falls into "suggestion" type. Just remember, unique fantasy novel might bring the readers into new "world" that has never been appeared in their life. Character Design (SSR) Main elements to describe a character are: Physical Appearance, Character (Grumpy, Sorrowful, etc), Alignment (Optional), Background Life. Do it and you will skip whole paragraphs describing about them. World Background: I'm a type of person...and "we" are type of people who like difficult, complex and hard to understand "world building". For example, if yo create 108 tribes, "we" love to see their "uniqueness" through magic, spell development, history, culture, original magic, etc. Another thing is about war and the end of war, since the tribes involved with it is too many, it's kind of hard to describe their roles and "stories" of them. My suggestion...you need to be careful about it or it would ended up "weird" or "far too confusing". The MM device has been making us wondering about special magic used by each clan. But since this is just the beginning of novel, I won't overstep my boundary. That's all from me! I hope you can keep writing uploading new chapters every day! Although, you should worry about your health first. Don't become me who can keep writing for 2-3 days by just sleeping 4 hours on each of the day. Sincerely, Dead/Lost Novel and Manga Writer! (My novel is also on Webnovel too!) XD OOFFF to gooo!!!