Webnovel Author: JJ_Prakoso - Novel Collection

JJ_Prakoso

JJ_Prakoso

male LV 1

Helloooo, I love to write what I want to write and I used to write at Wattpad.

2020-08-02 Joined Indonesia

Badges 7

Moments 280

JJ_Prakoso
JJ_Prakoso
JJ_Prakoso
Posted
Here are my honest thoughts based on what I read so far and I am sorry if it's offended you: World Building: I do like the world-building in this novel because first, it's quite interesting with the superpower people reigning the whole city and becoming a corrupt monster at hierarchy. The atmosphere and the situation of the world was pretty fine. However, this is my personal preference in honesty, I suggested for you to give more description about the environment. So, it can make the world clearer and easier to imagine. Characters: The characters so far it's quite decent. The main character is getting some vibe of the underdog and I do really like his struggle always being pushed than when in the critical decision, he decided to fight back. I also like the main character is quite a nice guy as he helped other too. However, there is some problem of how he got his power, it felt quite random when he got the wind power. The foreshadowing of obtaining in the early chapter wasn't enough and it felt he just randomly being blessed. Therefore, there is an easy way to fix it which is I think you expand and give more about his reaction to getting the power. As for the side characters, so far they are all fine especially with Haley. I knew she was meant to portray like that and the execution-wise is okay for now. Hence, Haley can have an interesting development in the future. Writing: The writing may had some Capital errors, but it's didn't disturb the flow since it's an easy problem solve. I meant you can just recheck. However this is my gripe about the writing, the backstory appearing in the introduction. I knew you want to make the people know about the character, but describing more about their body language, reaction, and even the way they talk in dialogue can make the character more engaging. Backstory is fine in my opinion, but I suggested not in the same chapter of their introduction. So it can give readers and me personally more time know them as a person especially you can expand the interaction or the body language when sees something happening. Overall: It's pretty nice book and have a quite clear direction where this is going. I am going to say sorry again if my critic was quite harsh and it's okay for you to disagree. Therefore, keep up the good work and good luck.
JJ_Prakoso
Commented
I think you forgot to put a period
JJ_Prakoso
JJ_Prakoso
JJ_Prakoso
JJ_Prakoso
JJ_Prakoso
Commented
Sorry is this suppose to be Kevin not Kelvin
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Dimensional Overhaul

Dimensional Overhaul

Fantasy · Dymens

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JJ_Prakoso
Replied to Venusean
Oh ok thanks for the correction and noted
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Sparror Volume 1

Sparror Volume 1

Fantasy · JJ_Prakoso

JJ_Prakoso
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