Webnovel Author: Classy_Cosplayer

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

"...pair [or] do..." in case it wasn't clear [brackets] means changing a word in a quote or adding a word to a quote. also "...another..." is redundant

"By the way, Brother, will we be going as a pair you do you have another date to bring?"

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

I think "...who's..." should be "whose"

It was 5:30 in the morning when Catherine woke up, just in time the Tailor shop delivered the dress to the manor. She then slowly went to her personal bath chamber. After doing the morning routine for the day, she went to the dining room faster than usual, probably haven't eaten anything for dinner. As she entered the dining, it was only Hendrix she saw. Remembering that her parents are away on a trip, she didn't mind and proceeded to sit in her chair. The maids then serve her breakfast and the butler gave her a wet towel. Saying thanks and nodded, she returns the towel to the butler who's waiting.

To Death Shall Thy Part

Anime & Comics · MonSoleil_19

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

"...serve[d]..." once again a problem of tenses

It was 5:30 in the morning when Catherine woke up, just in time the Tailor shop delivered the dress to the manor. She then slowly went to her personal bath chamber. After doing the morning routine for the day, she went to the dining room faster than usual, probably haven't eaten anything for dinner. As she entered the dining, it was only Hendrix she saw. Remembering that her parents are away on a trip, she didn't mind and proceeded to sit in her chair. The maids then serve her breakfast and the butler gave her a wet towel. Saying thanks and nodded, she returns the towel to the butler who's waiting.

To Death Shall Thy Part

Anime & Comics · MonSoleil_19

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

"...the dining [room]..."

It was 5:30 in the morning when Catherine woke up, just in time the Tailor shop delivered the dress to the manor. She then slowly went to her personal bath chamber. After doing the morning routine for the day, she went to the dining room faster than usual, probably haven't eaten anything for dinner. As she entered the dining, it was only Hendrix she saw. Remembering that her parents are away on a trip, she didn't mind and proceeded to sit in her chair. The maids then serve her breakfast and the butler gave her a wet towel. Saying thanks and nodded, she returns the towel to the butler who's waiting.

To Death Shall Thy Part

Anime & Comics · MonSoleil_19

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

"...probably haven't..." could be "probably because she hadn't" or "perhaps because she hadn't" or "for she hadn't"

It was 5:30 in the morning when Catherine woke up, just in time the Tailor shop delivered the dress to the manor. She then slowly went to her personal bath chamber. After doing the morning routine for the day, she went to the dining room faster than usual, probably haven't eaten anything for dinner. As she entered the dining, it was only Hendrix she saw. Remembering that her parents are away on a trip, she didn't mind and proceeded to sit in her chair. The maids then serve her breakfast and the butler gave her a wet towel. Saying thanks and nodded, she returns the towel to the butler who's waiting.

To Death Shall Thy Part

Anime & Comics · MonSoleil_19

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

"...the morning routine for the day..." could be shortened to "her morning routine" to make the sentence flow better.

It was 5:30 in the morning when Catherine woke up, just in time the Tailor shop delivered the dress to the manor. She then slowly went to her personal bath chamber. After doing the morning routine for the day, she went to the dining room faster than usual, probably haven't eaten anything for dinner. As she entered the dining, it was only Hendrix she saw. Remembering that her parents are away on a trip, she didn't mind and proceeded to sit in her chair. The maids then serve her breakfast and the butler gave her a wet towel. Saying thanks and nodded, she returns the towel to the butler who's waiting.

To Death Shall Thy Part

Anime & Comics · MonSoleil_19

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

first thoughts "...just in time..." should a comma after the phrase and not before or a semicolon after could work too. the comma's placement doesn't really work for me

It was 5:30 in the morning when Catherine woke up, just in time the Tailor shop delivered the dress to the manor. She then slowly went to her personal bath chamber. After doing the morning routine for the day, she went to the dining room faster than usual, probably haven't eaten anything for dinner. As she entered the dining, it was only Hendrix she saw. Remembering that her parents are away on a trip, she didn't mind and proceeded to sit in her chair. The maids then serve her breakfast and the butler gave her a wet towel. Saying thanks and nodded, she returns the towel to the butler who's waiting.

To Death Shall Thy Part

Anime & Comics · MonSoleil_19

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

"...and care for dinner..." could be rephrased to "without sparing a thought for dinner" or "without caring for dinner" or something to that effect. what it is now doesn't sound right.

Stressed out by the thoughts, Catherine falls asleep without even eating and care for dinner.

To Death Shall Thy Part

Anime & Comics · MonSoleil_19

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

"...have been..." can be completely removed, in the last sentence of this paragraph, to make the sentence flow smoother. double comas tend to omit or permit the omission of the text within them and the sentence can flow just fine, not always but it looks like here should be one of those cases.

As she walked past the hallway, the butler reminded her of dinner and she just dismisses him saying she has no appetite. The butler just nods and left. Even until she arrived at her bedroom, her mind was still stuck on the conversation she had with her brother. Rather than that, she was, since a long time ago, have been thinking of pursuing what she wanted to do. Just as what had her brother described 'Helping the poor'.

To Death Shall Thy Part

Anime & Comics · MonSoleil_19

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

it's a common problem when writing long sentences that you forget how they started and now that it's finished it's awkwardly worded, changing the word "...not..." to "it wasn't" makes "...[it wasn't] until the sun [set] and the study [became] pitch black..." sorry I just noticed the tenses were also off. you used present tense right before a past tense word. it just didn't feel right to me.

Catherine was left thinking of what her brother said. Countless scenarios ran through her head making her confused. The tea in her hand had long grown cold and not until the sun sets and the study becomes pitch black that she came back to her senses. She placed the cup on the coffee table before standing up heading to the bedroom.

To Death Shall Thy Part

Anime & Comics · MonSoleil_19

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

this chapter was well detailed. I couldn't relate to a lot but I could see the scenes and enjoyed the story's progression.

ch 0 1 Lady Catherine of House Faucigny

To Death Shall Thy Part

Anime & Comics · MonSoleil_19

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

"...snuck..." should be "sneak"

"I'm not kidding. If I am kidding, how would I know that you had used the west gate to snuck outside the manor?"

To Death Shall Thy Part

Anime & Comics · MonSoleil_19

Classy_Cosplayer

2yr

Commented

I'm not sure if it's a grammatical idiosyncrasy of the time or a grammatical error but I feel as though "...what will you..." should be "what you will" because it seems less like an inquisitive statement and more like an informative one.

"I've always noticed you tend to dislike the way we handled things. I also know you sometimes snuck outside with foods to give to the commoner-- don't give me that look, I won't interfere on what will you do with your life, as long as my interests aren't compromised, I'll support you." they both fell to a stale silence until Catherine spoke up again.