Dann_Giovanni - Profile

Sorry for the late review, I had to deal with personal issues. Anyway, I love the whole plot of the story, finished vol. 1. The characters were greatly described so I don't have anything to say about this. Grammar and punctuation are definitely one of a kind. As for th book cover, it looks fabulous! At the first few chapters it was boring but the pace slowly picks up. Honestly, I find no reason why to downgrade this book to four or three stars. Great job author!

Blue Soul Vampire: A Light in the Abyss is a book of fiction written by redgefleming. The story revolves around a vampire named blue who wanted to torture himself to the point he challenged the human race to kill him. Unfortunately, he was sent to another world through a portal in which she met a woman who are tasked to stop a certain kind of demons from summoning the demon lord. Although the grammar is great with minimal mistakes, there are slight errors when it comes to punctuation. Some involved commas which were not necessary, but then again, they were rare. Personally, what I love about the story is the contrast between Blue and Celina. Next, the flaw of the book was that too much descriptions were being used. Too many alternatives for the dialogue tag "said" and "asked" as I would frequently see command, gasp, laugh, and if the author were to use said and asked, they'd be paired up with too much adverbs. Keep things simple with the dialogue tags. Like what Stephen King says, "While to write adverbs is human, to write he said and she said is divine." That's all I can say for now, good luck with your writing!

Ahh! Forgive me, I noticed some mistakes within the review. Sigh, me and my sleepy mind.

Good day. Well, it's past midnight here, so I won't make my review formal as I am extremely sleepy to type. Writing Quality is absolutely great except for the slight punctuation mistakes here and there. One involved a comma, I didn't point out all of them since I didn't want to be nitpicky. When it comes to vocabulary, I like your choice of words. They aren't repetitive, but I would like to suggest that you keep the dialogue tags simple, and not use a thousand alternatives for "said" and "ask." Like what Stephen King said, " I think we all agree that dialogue tags are necessary for readers to know who’s talking. But writers are divided in how we use them: Some, including Raymond Carver, simply use “he said, she said”; others apparently invent a million different synonyms for “said”; still others try to find balance between the two extremes, sometimes even fifty-fifty. Yesterday, yet another writer, Jack Woe, jumped into the fray: I’ve read quite a few blogs about the evilness of dialogue tags. For example, Joe Moore wrote in The Kill Zone how new authors are overusing the alternatives of said. They go to: exclaimed, murmured, screamed, whispered, pleaded, shrieked, demanded, ordered, cried, shouted, and my all-time favorite, muttered. Thing is, I as a reader, don’t care. I just don’t read dialogue tags — at all. He’s not alone. To me, modifying such a perfectly fine tag as “said” is like Pimp My Ride gone bad. (Tip: Read that sentence again in Samuel L. Jackson’s voice.) I suggest you head over to Jack’s blog to read his brief, yet succinct musing over dialogue tags—or as Stephen King puts it in “On Writing”, “dialogue attribution.” A passionate adversary to adverbs, King warns against using adverbs in dialogue attribution, which reduce the effectiveness of the attribution verb: I insist that you use the adverb in dialogue attribution only in the rarest and most special of occasions … and not even then, if you can avoid it. Just to make sure we all know what we’re talking about, examine these three sentences: “Put it down!” she shouted. “Give it back,” he pleaded, “it’s mine.” “Don’t be such a fool, Jekyll,” Utterson said. In these sentences, shouted, pleaded, and said are verbs of dialogue attribution. Now look at these dubious revisions: “Put it down!” she shouted menacingly. “Give it back,” he pleaded abjectly, “it’s mine.” “Don’t be such a fool, Jekyll,” Utterson said contemptuously. The three latter sentences are all weaker than the three former ones, and most readers will see why immediately. […] Some writers try to evade the no-adverb rule by shooting the attribution verb full of steroids. The result is familiar to any reader of pulp fiction or paperback originals:” “Put the gun down, Utterson!” Jekyll grated. “Never stop kissing me!” Shayna gasped. “You damned tease!” Bill jerked out. The best form of dialogue attribution is said, as in he said, she said, Bill said, Monica said. Keep things simple, but! That doesn't mean you'll only stick with said and asked. Just use them more often. Next, I love the way you convey emotions for your characters. They're very well done. Another suggestion is that you get to the point. An example of this is the first three to four chapters I think in which you spent all those four chapters to reveal she died. Also, during these chapters, I only noticed two things that revolved around it. Her unusual liking to kidnaps and something to do with asking herself if she really is dead. Perhaps you could cut off some unnecessary scenes there. Next, character design. Well done! I was able to imagine the looks of the characters in a few paragraphs or so, I don't believe you're a newbie writer. When I started out writing during my high-school times, I could barely think of any synonyms. There wasn't Google back then, so I had to rely on Thesauruses and Dictionaries in which it could only be found within libraries. Sigh, the nearest library from me that time was so far. It's also quite funny that this the countless time in a row of reading a novel that has something to do with death and being alive again. I guess that's the majority of books here. If there are any suggestions I could give, that would be getting used to using em dashes. You're first person POV is also quite great. It's not the boring, "I went here then go here and so on and so forth" type of first person. Well, that's all I can criticize for now. I know this review isn't formal, I'm missing the front matter and the summary, but then again, I've got to return to my sleep. That is all I can say for now. -Dann Giovanni

Somewhere in between chapter 10-15.

Gambit of the Living Weapon is a book of fiction by Breno_Ranyere. Personally, I love the main character and the fact the weapon the protagonist has is a crossbow rather than some enchanting sword or anything similar to this. The other characters are lovable, one that would make readers remember their name even if the book is finished. I've two major flaws that I've found while reading this book, scenes and punctuation. i'm not going to judge your grammar anymore since it's good. The basic principles and fundamentals, I could see that they're followed. Alright, the scenes! When it comes to this part, there were times when my excitement was building up then suddenly the action ends right away. It's a bit too fast if you were to ask me. As for the emotions, I would suggest that you add more feelings rather than using adjectives but don't overdo them. For the descriptions, the best advice I could give you is to add more emotions and actions to prolong it. I will give an example: Quietude succumbed to his mind, draining every emotion. Yes, descriptive, but we could add more emotions and descriptions to this. "Once the quietness arrived, it stayed and spread in Estha. It reached out of his head and enfolded him in its swampy arms…sent its stealthy, suckered tentacles inching along the insides of his skull, hoovering the knolls and dells of his memory, dislodging old sentences, whisking them off the tip of his tongue" A little warning though, only use it during important scenes such as the action because too much will consider your book as "overdescriptive" Next, the punctuation. Punctuation is one thing authors must learn about since it helps when it comes to telling the readers when to pause or how to read that particular sentence. Try reading these sentences: As promised I will give back your money. As promised, I will give back your money. The second sentence has a comma! When one would read the first, they would go straight out without pausing. When one would read the second, there would be a slight pause after the word promise. I know learning punctuation is a difficult task, trust me, I've been there. If I can, you can too! I'll be rooting for you! Overall, it's great! All the author has to improve on is his punctuation and scenes.

Into the Zombie World is a book of fiction written by Neil_Ads. The story revolves around a man named Nile who sought to survive a zombie apocalypse after his untimely death by being bumped by a truck. The author uses present-tense. Well, it is a good story. Personally, what I love about the book is Nile's intelligence and the way he reacts to certain things. He thinks logically, making the right choice except for the store as he could've looted the first three houses instead of choosing the store. I love his plans and schemes to get rid off or defeat zombies. I think there is a mixture of futuristic technology since there is this so called system that displays certain things. I'm not used to reading these kind of novel mixtures. Anyway, the grammar and punctuation is definitely one thing the author must improve. Yes, it uses present-tense but because of this, it seems more like a guy telling actions rather than a describing and story-telling. He is walking, He is going, he is banging, things like that should be changed. Because of this, it lacks emotions and some elements of a horror novel. You could describe the zombies more rather than using Big, small, fat, or sharp teeth. I didn't feel any suspense except for the parts in which the dialogues weren't aplenty. I would like to suggest that you describe things like this: Example: His leg were trembling. Try going to the next level: His legs were noodles. Or to add more suspense and frightening elements, I would suggest: Example: The silence shrouded his mind. (Lacks emotions) "Once the quietness arrived, it stayed and spread in Estha. It reached out of his head and enfolded him in its swampy arms…sent its stealthy, suckered tentacles inching along the insides of his skull, hoovering the knolls and dells of his memory, dislodging old sentences, whisking them off the tip of his tongue." Something like that. Well, I hope this honest criticism helped out!