When I began reading the story I was a bit confused by the pacing and the certain structures of the sentences because there were glaring differences in quality between sentences. However, bad grammar is easily fixable compared to fixing a bad story and I believe that this story has enough merit to keep entertained and interesting.
So if you fixed up some of the grammar, you can easily have a great or even near perfect book.
TonyT
Plastic Primrose
Fantasy · TonyT