Badges 22
Moments 1572
3mth
Commented Wait...’faster than light’? How? No amount of force or power should theoretically be able to overcome that barrier. I don’t care what type of supernatural ‘godly’ bodies these beings have. Travelling at a fifth of the speed of light can’t be withstood by any sort of biological organism, much less to exceed it. Matter and reality as a whole would likely cease to function at such a high speed, much less perception and cognition. Going so fast would deprive any cognitive creature of all their senses at the very least, assuming they don’t instantly disintegrate. At such a speed, by the time they decide to stop and their neurons process the command, they would be a smoking cloud of atoms on the surface of some mountain. Putting aside the sheer impossibility of the matter, how large is the world for it to take up to ten seconds to travel at, if not exceeding the speed of light? That is between 8 - 76 full revolutions around the planet at the speed of light - which remember - was apparently exceeded. The world is *way* too big to ever be able to exist in that case, given that the working rules of the various worlds haven’t been clearly established.
Putting even that aside, is the stated time objective or relative? Because if the timeframe is relative (as it usually is in the real world,) that opens up a whole other can of worms called relativity.
Seriously, if you’re going to make such bold claims, at least satisfactorily justify them. People may not know anything about true cultivation or superhuman martial arts, but you can’t just go around flaunting your defiance of basic physics without a reasonable narrative explanation. It totally shatters any immersion.
In less than ten seconds, he stopped, finally reaching his destination. He looked at the ground below him. The entire Earth was painted red in blood.
Eternal Villain: I can enslave Reality!
Fantasy · Demonic_angel
3mth
Replied to leeroycgna A shame, though hardly anyone cares about chronology on the internet. Whether it’s content from 2011 or posted three hours ago, people tend to throw their thoughts at your face regardless.
Jayce saw a blood red name hovering over the colossal draconic beasts head, making him pale deeply. No one had ever fought a beast with a red name and lived to tell the tale. He looked over at his friends and swallowed deeply.
Chef in the Apocalypse
Fantasy · leeroycgna
3mth
Commented How would one ‘pale deeply’? It makes a modicum of sense if you stretch your reasoning and squint, but then that brings to question why that phrase was used in the first place. Why was the adverb even needed? The verb would be supplemented by the context anyway. What’s the point?
Jayce saw a blood red name hovering over the colossal draconic beasts head, making him pale deeply. No one had ever fought a beast with a red name and lived to tell the tale. He looked over at his friends and swallowed deeply.
Chef in the Apocalypse
Fantasy · leeroycgna
3mth
Replied to MrLollip0p God no. Not Super Gene. Even the halfway decent design of its profile frame is wasted on it. In regards to your former statement, while LoM and RI are definitely the most prominent of successful, intricate works on the platform, I wouldn’t say they’re the only ones. I secede from that argument solely due to not being in the proper headspace to scour through my reading list to provide sufficient examples.
That aside though, while it certainly helps, one doesn’t *need* an established following to write something new and risky. Sure it may not guarantee success, but I’d think it’d be a nice way to broaden horizons either way.
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3mth
Replied to MrLollip0p Fair enough I suppose, though it was part of my observations that it was typically the books more closely resembling ‘traditional novels’ in detail, prose and editing which achieved widespread acclaim on the platform. Then again, far be it from me to dictate your artistic vision.
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3mth
Replied to MrLollip0p Efficient? In what? Inefficiency? Given the choice between a steam engine and a combustion engine to power something, the most efficient choice would be combustion engine due to the lower space requirements, higher output and general convenience of use (given consistent scale for comparison). In that scenario, who would use both, when one would suffice? Moreover, why go for the less efficient option to begin with? Why go through all the extra trouble? Suffice it to say that I simply don’t understand that justification.
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3mth
Replied to MrLollip0p But then that raises the question of ‘why you were aiming for a demographic young enough to not understand simple implications to begin with?’ This would be especially pertintent considering some of the themes you included in later chapters and some of the other implications you left unsaid regarding the state of the world and society. If you were aiming for younger readers, why not simplify those heavier subject matters instead of a character impression? If you were aiming for an audience *that* young, why go with these character and setting to begin with? There’s a reason not many children’s books delve into socio-politics, capitalism and the moral quandries of consumerism and population segregation.
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3mth
Replied to MrLollip0p Did you forget to change accounts? Or that this is allegedly your own work?
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3mth
Commented Huh? What logic is that? That’s just a supressed correlative fallacy. Just because two things or concepts - of which at least one has been exaggeratedly re-defined - are ‘adjacent’ or presumed to be related through some misconstrued reasoning, doesn’t mean they are mutually exclusive, or in this case, mutually inclusive.
Now, I wouldn’t have normally deigned to analyse the logical subtext of a character like this, but I have done so mainly because the author could have easily avoided this warped logic by not leaving in that last question - however in passing it was meant to be said. Far be it from me to let such a logical loophole slip by unnoticed.
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3mth
Commented I’m of the opinion that all interactions are transactional to begin with. It’s just that the terms of the transaction aren’t always explicitly stated or paid upfront in a concrete currency. Whether it be for self-validation, approval, affection, loyalty, trust, fame or later reciprocation, everything has a price. The fact that he’s discovering this only now…not sure if I should deride him or pity him.
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3mth
Commented So 15 minutes extra work? That seems relatively reasonable, given what we’ve been told about the world and the fact he was 45 minutes late.
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3mth
Commented Same as anywhere else. While mediocrity is by definition inevitable, the only societal archetypes that I can think of that actively accept societal ‘undesirables’, in leiu of a better term, would be either stagnant, ‘utopic’ socialist societies, indoctrinatory police/surveillance states, exploitative plutocracies or hivemind societies*. Most other systems of governenace would either rely on or would prefer being comprised of at least competent constituents, if nothing else.
*Referring specifically to individualistic hiveminds, whereby all constituents are extentions of one core conciousness. This does not include swarm hiveminds, collective hiveminds or inter-hivemind/mutli-hivemind societies.
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3mth
Commented Hm. I find this scene familiar. A clown on public transport in New York. Remind anyone of anything?
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3mth
Commented Still pretty obvious. When actions speak louder than words, why use both?
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3mth
Commented So ‘gambling addiction’, huh. That phrasing implies he’s aware it is a problem. Hm. So far, he doesn’t seem like one willing to spend or give away money like that. Perhaps his inclinations towards seeking other’s validation through posturing has something to do with it? Perhaps he allowed himself to be caught in a scam? We’ll see.
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3mth
Commented Ha. Just what I was about to comment on. How quaint.
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3mth
Commented Leave some things implied, will you. I think a ‘penchant for opulence’ was rather obvious. Stating it outright almost invalidates all the descriptive build-up. What’s the point of the desciptions if you’re going to spell it out in the end as well?
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3mth
Commented Hm. The nigh-obsessive focus on the clothing certainly stands out. Either it is deemed absolutely crucial for us to visualise that this character wears something that cost a specific amount for some reason, or the narration simply aims to mimic the attitude of the subject it’s describing - which by the way should be a consistent characterisitc of the narration if true. Other than those reasons, I see no other reasons for a single character description to be so oddly detailed in the description of clothing.
We shall read on.
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Noire_Nova
This time, he showed no mercy. He completely erased the free will within Duan Mu, something that he didn't even do with the Divine Empress.
Eternal Villain: I can enslave Reality!
Fantasy · Demonic_angel