Webnovel Author: Zackary_Zhangcheng

Alright, not to go on a string of critiques, but I'd also recommend lengthening the time in which the speaker processes his surroundings. This conclusion, though obvious to readers, shouldn't be as much so to the character placed in the situation.

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[Dropped for now] - Rise of the Yokai Lord

Eastern · MrChinchila

Zackary_Zhangcheng

2yr

Commented

This dialogue seems a little unnatural. Perhaps try reading it out loud to see if it sounds the way you intend.

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[Dropped for now] - Rise of the Yokai Lord

Eastern · MrChinchila

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Posted

The story, at least from what I've read this far, is one the most well written I've seen on this platform. The grammar, descriptions, and character development are all there. My only issue is how admittedly slow the pace is. But a good story requires patience, am I right? I look forward to seeing what else our heroes of cultivation have to offer.

God Of Immortals

Eastern · Primate

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Commented

I really hope to see these powers shown to us readers. I'll admit, while the writing style is near perfect, the pace is a little slow. But at least you're establishing the relationships between characters.

Then he fell to his knees as his mind began to work furiously. So, he too would one day fly on a giant white sword like his grandpa, walk on air like his grandma and make flaming flowers of feathers like his mother.

God Of Immortals

Eastern · Primate

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Commented

It's kind of interesting to see such a dynamic character who's only five years old. I do hope he doesn't pull off any unrealistically ***** feats out of nowhere though. We need character development 😤

Ju Feng was totally jawed by that revelation. He was staring at the pagoda with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. He just couldn't believe what his ears were hearing. Seven realms! Treasures! He was only five years old, yet his grandma already placed a huge responsibility on his shoulders.

God Of Immortals

Eastern · Primate

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Commented

Very nicely written chapters. Some of the most polished I've seen among the books I've read on this platform so far.

ch 0 6 Heart Of A Cultivator [II]

God Of Immortals

Eastern · Primate

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Commented

I think it should be "...and patted him..."

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God Of Immortals

Eastern · Primate

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Commented

grimace **

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God Of Immortals

Eastern · Primate

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Replied to LordSputnik

OOPS. I mean to say "and". Sorry.

"Why do I feel so heavy and can barely move!"

The Alterra Project

Sci-fi · LordSputnik

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Commented

I hope to see a lot more character development from Gray. Forgive me, but to me, he gives off somewhat of an incel vibe.

ch 0 7 Prelaunch

The Alterra Project

Sci-fi · LordSputnik

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Commented

The second half of the sentence — the one after "the" — doesn't sound like something somebody would naturally say. Sounds too much like narration.

"Why do I feel so heavy and can barely move!"

The Alterra Project

Sci-fi · LordSputnik

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Commented

💀💀💀

"No sir."

The Alterra Project

Sci-fi · LordSputnik

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Posted

I'll have to read further in order to give a more fair review. But as per the condition we agreed to on WebNovel forums, I'll list my thoughts so far. The grammar is quite polished. I can tell that the author has been at it for a decent amount of time. And usually I wouldn't recommend the usage of a first person POV in a fantasy novel, but in this story, it's well done. As a reader, I could feel the emotions of the protagonist as she struggled to recall how she ended up in that void. Another intriguing aspect of the story was the number of relevant characters introduced from the get go. The author doesn't name them, but instead gives them titles that are easy to follow during an action-packed scene. I assume that they'll be given names later. It'll be a neat tie-in to see.

Records of Rebirth

Fantasy · EternalNightLotus

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Commented

And so the adventure begins. I wonder how the other students' stories will play out.

ch 10 The Goddess and Her System

Records of Rebirth

Fantasy · EternalNightLotus

Zackary_Zhangcheng

3yr

Commented

Just out of curiosity, was Teacher Song of Korean descent?

«Teacher Song sounds too cold. Since we are both dead there's no need for such formality.» he replied offhandedly. «Call me Sensei, it sounds a little less stiff.»

Records of Rebirth

Fantasy · EternalNightLotus

Webnovel Author: Zackary_Zhangcheng - Novel Collection

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