Webnovel Author: _Frost_ - Novel Collection

_Frost_

1mth

Replied to Grispera

Are you using an app like grammary? Copy a draft of your writings to that, then sort though the errors it prompts you with. That should solve like 80% of the issues your chapters are having.

ch 0 1 A Desperate Situation

_Frost_

1mth

Commented

This really needs an edit. The grammar and choice of words are poor in many of the sentences; an example is when mentioning the events of using a "chopper" to get to a "port." Grammar aside, helicopter and harbor for the choice words would fit better when describing events occurring instead of slang words like chopper. First impressions are important.

ch 0 1 A Desperate Situation

_Frost_

2mth

Replied to NatePrince

something else do all wraiths have this system and access to this store?

[You lack any actual metabolism that is required to clot the wound and start a slow 'natural' healing. You either use the health pack or keep the Injury as it is. Bleeding and leaking your Eldritch essence.]

Debauchery of a Soul-Eating Wraith

Fantasy · NatePrince

_Frost_

2mth

Replied to

still think because it's a form of energy and seems to be maybe related to his soul there should be a way to prevent excess loss of that energy. That ultimately its a matter of control of that energy which he currently doesn't possess. These packs would be best suited in emergency cases to recover what was lost. which could affect his strength for having that portion of energy missing.

[You lack any actual metabolism that is required to clot the wound and start a slow 'natural' healing. You either use the health pack or keep the Injury as it is. Bleeding and leaking your Eldritch essence.]

Debauchery of a Soul-Eating Wraith

Fantasy · NatePrince

_Frost_

2mth

Commented

should of gone by stage he's in. 3rd order should need a 3rd order med pack and so on. As he gets stronger would imagine he would be made up of a denser or higher quality eldritch energy. Meaning what would be needed to heal him would be more demanding as he gets stronger. Who knows maybe once he hits the 4th order the cost will increase just something to think about.

1000 for an injury that's bleeding? That's a ripoff!'

Debauchery of a Soul-Eating Wraith

Fantasy · NatePrince

_Frost_

2mth

Replied to Sen_Ritsu

not going to lie this could pass for a short haired girl in an anime lol, very feminine.

Everyone in the room, everyone besides the rejoicing mother still embracing her son, saw as Evian's brown hair began to change to grey.

Debauchery of a Soul-Eating Wraith

Fantasy · NatePrince

_Frost_

2mth

Commented

[Flashback]

Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!

Eastern · Odayaka

_Frost_

2mth

Commented

so multiple reincanations in the same body, young master trope, child hood friend being guided by a spirit in her head, someone else having a legendary sword, useless elders with a father that abandoned his family. Forced engagement that causes issues. Did I miss anything like come on this is just a gag at this point.

Long Tian came across this in his previous life and decided to perform it to perfection when he did not get any techniques from the family to practice.

Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!

Eastern · Odayaka

_Frost_

2mth

Commented

appreciate the thought being put into the plot curious to see if these events will have a effect on Noah's character. Be a waste to put this effort into a flashback for a dead character.

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Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!

Eastern · Odayaka

_Frost_

2mth

Commented

yup hope hope this is the last of this cliche but some how I doubt it.

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Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!

Eastern · Odayaka

_Frost_

2mth

Commented

comment like this could make you think long tian is reincarted.

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Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!

Eastern · Odayaka

_Frost_

2mth

Commented

sure that's a funny sight if him being lean and tone is rare amongst his piers are the rest just 4'8-4'10 muscle heads or skin and bones? 🤣 Author image you creating with these younglings is odd. Having a lean athletic build isn't odd to see amongst 14 years old now let alone a cultivation world.

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Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!

Eastern · Odayaka

_Frost_

2mth

Commented

14 and 5 feet? Hes even considered to be on the tall side for his age. That's wild cultivators are little people in this novel.

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Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!

Eastern · Odayaka

_Frost_

2mth

Commented

respect different approach can appreciate it

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Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!

Eastern · Odayaka

_Frost_

2mth

Replied to Odayaka

characters in the novel aren't just going to he idiots are they? the cliche that Chinese writers created that made all elders idiots and young masters just around to be face slapped is horrible writing.

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Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!

Eastern · Odayaka

_Frost_

2mth

Commented

surprised you decided to have 0 development on the mentality of the Mc. Just went from one of the worst betrayals you could imagine to what we are reading now. Can see the maid being a soft spot for the Mc for when it came down to seeing her again. But the entire interaction so far with demon/dragon girl also? It's like influence from his own life experiences isn't reflected at in what we are reading. From a extremely naive Mc that was horribly betrayed by his wife and suppose friend that even extended to the general public. To a Mc that's very forward in there emotions as if there's 0 trauma. Why even have the events of the first chapter occur if it wasn't to be a catalyst for personality development? Would expect to see more rage and distrust from the Mc, can already predict he will see those 2 characters and there be a dialog about how angry he is with them but that being it. Honestly hope I'm wrong but the character interactions just don't see to fit at all from the setting you created.

"Xavida? Did she do something wrong, or are you just jealous of her?"

Devouring Monarch: Rebirth of the Profane Phoenix

Fantasy · TheDragonSlayer

_Frost_

2mth

Commented

this is just weird.

"First, I can help you understand the large monolith that carries your name, and all the language written on the slab will be given to you mentally. Ah..."

Devouring Monarch: Rebirth of the Profane Phoenix

Fantasy · TheDragonSlayer

_Frost_

2mth

Replied to Resurgent

when can we expect updates to start again?

His fingers gently brushed a stray strand of her ruby-red hair from her face, and before he knew it, he was leaning in, capturing her rosy lips in a searing kiss.