I agree with the other guy, there are some parts of the text that are pretty rushed, i also think u may work a little bit better on how you describe the characters and their actions (maybe their looks description is a little too generic). Apart from that, I am interested to read the next chapters, i believe that the more you write, the more you will improve in these aspects that I mentioned. Don't stop writing🥰
Viniboy
Black Ring
Fantasy · Funkier