doomedtl - Profile

The prose is the good and I like the formatting. I get the impression that the narrator's flow of thought is uncontrolled. Definitely intrigued to read more.

Vivid descriptions. The writing is fairly polished :]

Interesting so far. I like the concept of the school. I wonder why the people with powers are targets.

Pretty solid establishing chapter. The last line is excellent. You convey Bai Yaoyao's betrayal and the effect this has on Bai Weiwei very well. I would recommend changing passive voice into active voice, since that tends to read more smoothly :]

The quality of writing is very good. I like the worldbuilding and the dialogue between the protagonist and Armain. The ending lines are ominous and make me want more.

There's a sense of urgency and raised stakes in this chapter. I can tell we're getting to the action. I like the description of the hellhound. I'm intrigued by the mother and what she knows.

A lot of new characters introduced at once. It's a little hard to keep track of them. This chapter raises more new question instead of deepening or answering any of the ones raised in the first.

Very vivid description, solid establishment of the family dynamics. I like how Rhi seems to be more of a rough-and-tumble protagonist. The questioned raised by the chapter are intriguing enough for me to want more. Some parts are redundant. For example, "I quickly put my phone down, got up, and jumped out of bed" could easily be cut down to "I quickly jumped out of bed", since got up/jumped out of bed convey the same thing, and putting the phone down would be implied.