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Rogue_Deity

male LV 2
2021-09-18 Joined India

Badges 5

Moments 40

Rogue_Deity
Commented
dukio, hello.hello[img=recommend]

"Hello. Hello. Good day to you, young man. What brings you to my small establishment this fine morning?"

Re: Evolution Online

Re: Evolution Online

Fantasy · Yolohy

Rogue_Deity
Replied to de_Nikolaus
but how will we do it?
This book has been deleted.
Rogue_Deity
Commented
I was eagerly waiting for someone to do it.
This book has been deleted.
Rogue_Deity
Commented
that would be highly appreciated.
This book has been deleted.
Rogue_Deity
Commented
thank you for your motivation, reader san.
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Rogue_Deity
Commented
there is no need to explain so much in starting para

"You understand,very well,that the child she is to bring could be a menace," Mandos Namo said to Manwë Súlimo.The duo were standing at the top of the Isle Of Almaren,at highest spot there was in Almaren.

Havens

Havens

Fantasy · Hogan_Robinson

Rogue_Deity
Rogue_Deity
Posted
hello there, author here. I am not a professional writer but will thrive to be one someday. the story is intricated and enjoyable as it flows, there might be grammatical errors or writing style that could be improved so plz casually suggest whatever you feel like. with your help, the immersion of the story will increase with your experience as a reader.
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Rogue_Deity
Rogue_Deity
Commented
why do I get the feeling that the angle has become sassy.
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Alive bond

Alive bond

Book&Literature · eyaggelia146

Rogue_Deity
Commented
I feel bad for the angle san.
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Alive bond

Alive bond

Book&Literature · eyaggelia146

Rogue_Deity
Replied to Aungmyint
someone's desperate, lol.

"I didn't see who it was." The girl retorted, her cheeks flushed.

My Vampire System

My Vampire System

Fantasy · JKSManga

Rogue_Deity
Rogue_Deity
Commented
is it a dialogue or an introductory narration?
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Guardian Spirits

Guardian Spirits

Action · Dlo0902

Rogue_Deity
Rogue_Deity
Commented
without the "the caller said" it would have sounded much better and stimulating.
Rogue_Deity
Commented
try to make the narrations in the past tense.
Rogue_Deity
Commented
he is the only one present in the scene so who else would say?
Rogue_Deity
Commented
the box had a birthday cake made for him, not that the box was his cake. use he/ she when there aren't many characters in the scene.
Rogue_Deity
Commented
where would he take keys out from? do we need to be told that doors require keys to open? it is already stated above that the box is mysterious, only using box would have sufficed. use of unnecessary 'some' frequently.
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