Noken - Profile

Nice story with good grammar, interesting charactera and cool concepts. I love the way the author mixed the JJK elements with HP, the abilities look awesome and the details are very well described. My only issue with this fic is the underage relationship… With Bellatrix, to be specific. Yeah I get that the MC’s reincarnated and far older than he looks, but still to force such an unecessary relationship beteeen a 13 year-old and a 40 year-old woman is just weird and disgusting, I even considered dropping at that point.

Author, I know it’s hard, but please just ignore these homophobic idiots and continue writing your awesome story. Some of the reviews here are simply ridiculous... It’s like they’re afraid they’ll turn gay just because of a single paragraph lol. They really don’t deserve your time, you don’t have to justify anything to these people. I’m heterosexual and I really don’t mind if the MC had *** with men before, I just don’t want to read lemons and gay smut.

Was very good until the MC used mind control to rape someone... I get that this was supposed to an “evil mc”, but I have a bottom line. Nice grammar, constant updates, and a good story overwall. If you don’t mind the fact that the MC is a rapist, that is.

Yeah it’s another system novel with an OP MC... But seriously, this one is worth it. The grammar is good, the author has a lot of knowledge about the One Piece world, the MC is not an edgy psycho with a harem (like most other novels of the genre), the pace is good and the fight scenes are very well constructed. The only problem, IMO, is that the MC seems a bit too OP right now. I don’t think there’s anyone else that can be a threat to him with his broken skills, and this is usually the downfall point of most fanfictions. Without any challenges the stories start to get really boring to read, it’s just the MC playing with people a thousand times weaker than himself... Well Author, even if you drop the story here I would still consider it the best One Piece fanfiction on WebNovel so far. If you’re truly looking for feedback to improve your writing, I’d suggest you to make the MC suffer a bit on your future works, give them more threats and challenges to overcome. If he only wins and easily beats the opponents every time, it doesn’t create a meaninful impact to your readers, it’s much better to make the MC lose and learn something from it sometimes.

Reading this just feels like the whole story is pointless. The MC is an overpowered psychopath that has no feelings and gets everything he wants without struggle. All of the good stories have a goal that drives the MC forward and gives him strengh to overcome the obstacles, and there’s no such thing here. He wants power, but why? He doesn’t seem to care about anything, there’s no romance, he doesn’t have friends, no family, it doesn’t matter who lives or dies. Overall, the MC just feels empty, like he’s not even a person, and this is so boring to read. Then the author uses the excuse of being “evil” to justify the MC’s lack of personality... I like evil characters, and I love to read things from the villain’s perspective, but this was not the case here. There’s no character development, he’s just a bland character without emotions. Enough about the MC, now let’s talk a bit about the story itself. It’s clear that the author has a lot of knowledge about Hunter x Hunter, the grammar is good, and these are definitely good points in any fanfiction. The abilities he came up for the MC are very original and it made a cool image in my head. The pace is definitely a problem... It starts slow, then we have massive timeskip and suddenly the MC abused the hell out of his ability and he’s now the strongest being on the continent. Like, wtf? I almost dropped it there. I understand that some people find “training arcs” boring, and it must be even worse to write one, but this is simply ridiculous. It feels like he didn’t even have to work for it. Now the MC is extremely overpowered, more powerful than any character in the anime/manga, and the only “goal” he has is to get even more powerful... All the action we got so far is he beating people that are a thousand times weaker than himself. There’s no one who can challenge or be a threat to him. And this is not fun to read at all. Author, all of this is simply my opinion, and I believe that constructive criticism is the key to improve at everything we do. I’ve read your Naruto story too, and if I were to review it, my feedback would be basically the same.