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Vampfan1: Maybe you can have some Witch Blood in Alex and Belle from one if their Parents, might explain their Mental Defences. Might also allow for future Psychic &/or Metaphysical abilities?A New Wolf in Twilight · C30
Ehbon: Please sweet mother of god and all of their affiliates let this beautiful fic continue!A New Wolf in Twilight · C0
FBI_B1TCH: Bro wdym, this was a new story and already at the top of the rankings, plenty of people want it to continueA New Wolf in Twilight · C0
Gale_Onigiri: I want to read more. I've actually been really enjoying this a lot!A New Wolf in Twilight · C0
wesely1996: just my personal opinion but i would like this to go on, only stop if you are not feeling it anymore or something like that because writing just for writing sake will just suckA New Wolf in Twilight · C0
princeofzen: Continue man come on why are caring about that idiots commentA New Wolf in Twilight · C0
GreatNovelLover: it's an interesting story plz continue writing it!A New Wolf in Twilight · C0
A New Wolf in Twilight · C0
Live_A_Legend: Yes, I’ve been waiting for this heavenly fan ficA New Wolf in Twilight · C0
Aces_Mark: https://sj.uukanshu.com/book.aspx?id=79800 seems oddly familiar to this Chinese fanfic just with different names for the main characterAbsolute Stealing · C1
Morning_Fragrance: The dude deleted my review after I called him out for plagiarism. Thinking about review bombing repeatedly or just settling with posting on each chapter while trying to get some likes to keep it bumped up.Absolute Stealing · C1
Ineedaname: I believe that implies hes a god though, better use say soothsayer or miracle invoker.Lord of the Mysteries · C237
The Water Body Refinement Adept · C24
Randompasserby: Well yeah, that's pretty much how that damn quill works. "Just happened to accelerate the land fall of a meteorite shower" anyone?
That's so far beyond normal telepathic, hypnosis or mind reading powers it's freakin terrifying 😰Lord of the Mysteries · C485
Alessan: Today I learned that pufferfish and cuttlefish are not the same thing. I had always imagined our wonderful author to be a peacefull puffyboi joyously exploring the bottom of the ocean. Now I realize that is not the case, in fact, he is a terrifying denizen of the deep. I have much to reevaluate and will entering seclusion to figure out my new path in life. Toodaloo!Lord of the Mysteries · C485
Ehbon: I am happy to see a story appear on this site with a setting similar to Age of Adepts and WMW, so I’ve decided to do my best to review it and maybe help the author steer clear of some of the pitfalls Age of Adepts fell to. The main character being a Water Body Refining Adept is a new and novel idea, please stick to it. In later chapters we can already see the main character going down the same path as the Mc in age of adepts, in that he is trying his hand at making golems. Please, pleeeeaaaassse, don’t make this a story about the main character stomping his way through all obstacles in his path with an army of golems that he didn’t even really have to work for. That undermines the entire point of this story being about a Water Body Refining Adept. Using and making golems is fine, but I would recommend some hefty limitations or time investments to make it so he has to primarily rely on his own efforts. For example, you could make it so using golems at an adept level of combat requires all of your focus to control the golem. This would allow golem centered adepts to still exist, while preventing Drodosis from cheating his way through every battle by using an army of golems to win. I’d also recommend making it ridiculously difficult and expensive to make even a single golem at the adept level, that way he’ll have to be careful using them and not just throw them at his problems. If this were a story about a golem adept, I wouldn’t be nearly as concerned, but lately almost all of the focus has been devoted to Knight training and golem making. He has made pitiful progress on his path as a Water Body Refining Adept in comparison to all the results he’s seen along the other paths, mainly because he hasn’t been devoting his time to his original goal and keeps getting distracted by all these side projects. He hasn’t even asked for Blackwater as a reward yet, despite it being required for the only water body refining spell he knows of.
Writing quality is mostly good, though I would recommend checking your usage of the word “expensive”. You keep writing it as “expansive” instead, and they are two different words with two entirely different meanings. Besides that, just be on the look out for spelling and grammar errors and improve as you go along. I have already noticed some improvement along this front in later chapters.
As far as character development for Drodosis goes... I’m happy with it, ultimately it could be better but it’s more than I was expecting. He isn’t just a murder-happy cold Adept with no moral principle, instead we see that he values friendship and loyalty and has a few vices (such as his desire to be praised). I hope we see him try and work towards his family gaining a set of morals too, and maybe see him getting some personal attachments of his own to a few of the side characters to humanize him a bit.
Anyways, good start to the novel and I hope to see much more in the future!The Water Body Refinement Adept
The Water Body Refinement Adept
Ehbon: I hope we see the Mc go back for that Blackwater Blood spell, it sounded really interesting and unique in comparison to everything else we’ve seen. I’m surprised he hasn’t asked for blackwater as a reward yet, seeing as he could probably fix the deficiencies in the original spell with evolution points and his own comprehension.The Water Body Refinement Adept · C23
The Water Body Refinement Adept · C23
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