Capítulo 31: Chapter 31: Clone based adventures!
[Tavish POV]
It was several weeks before I finally calmed down long enough to think rationally.
While I wasn't necessarily able to leave, my clones could maintain my standard life outside of this place.
One went to the tavern, while the other made it's way back to camp to monitor the goings on, leaving me to figure out my foundation.
The books the Enlightened one left gave simple enough descriptions of the process to make this happen, but I also didn't want to fall into the standard basic bitch foundation.
It required entering your "inner mindscape" and "feeling the flow" which sounded like quite a bit of trumped-up crap to me, but if it helped, I'd use it as guidelines.
Most of the work needed to be done while meditating, so here I sat, floating in the endless space and energy that made up my body.
In front of me sat a gleaming red and gold figure. It looked to be the amalgamation of a human, a demon, and a maykr as it shifted from form to form.
As far as I'm able to figure, this was the representation of the Dark Lord's power, The Father's life Sphere, and The Slayer.
It kinda reminded me of the Father, The Son, and The Holy spirit, but a lot more violence.
Point is, these energies were fighting.
The Dark Lord energy was fighting the Maykr.
The Maykr, was fighting the Dark Lord.
And The Slayer was trying to kick the shit out of both of them.
So now I needed a medium in which these energies could be melded safely.
Before my fight with the body double, the Father life sphere was in a hibernation of sorts.
I didn't mess with it so it didn't do much. But when I absorbed the Dark Lord's energy, It was the equivalent of setting a rabid honey badger loose in a bear den.
So I needed a versatile medium to accommodate for not only these energies, but leaves room for future energies, and be able to handle the load of an ever expanding powerbase.
The best solution I managed to come up with was making a world tree as a base.
Theoretically, it could absorb and process all these energies and continue expanding as awareness expands. Trees are the most mailable medium I've come across in my travels.
Generating the powerful seed in the core of the figure, I focus all my mental acuity on nurturing the seed causing it to sprout.
The figure unleashed a defiant scream of pain as the sapling absorbed the conflicting energies as its nutrients.
The tree developed, growing into a standard tree, its roots exposed with no matter to connect to as it processed the energy it absorbed, cycling it repeatedly.
A ping rang out across my consciousness as one of my clones demanded a portion of my consciousness.
[Parallel Mind]
Splitting off a part of myself so I could focus on the tree, I feel myself flying into the body of my bartender form.
[Location: Tardis Tavern]
My eyes roll down to center as I quickly adapt to the body requiring my presence.
The amount of divine energy in here quickly caused my eyes to settle on the entrance as six goddesses walk through the front doors.
I recognized a good portion of them. Hera, Artemis, Hestia, and Demeter are all goddesses that I've met in some form or another. Athena I was aware of thanks to her "capture" of Muppet, but the final goddess was a mystery to my senses.
Her form was constantly shifting as it attempted to fit something pleasing to my senses, her hair eyes, and other physical features constantly shifting color and style as multiple eyes fell on her.
If I had to guess, she was either the god of chameleons, or Aphrodite. And odds are the latter is more likely to be hanging out with other Greek gods, even as a tag along.
I only say that based on the scathing looks she was receiving from Artemis.
Those two probably aren't on the best of terms, but it's probably none of my business, and I don't feel like getting dragged into it.
Clapping my hands together I draw their attention to me; "Welcome to the Tardis Tavern. What can I start you ladies off with today?" I ask, my eyes gleaming from under my bowler.
"You really regained your form . . ." Artemis commenting quietly, her eyes widening with recognition.
"Was their any doubt that I would? C'mon Artemis . . . I can't always be a lich. If I didn't keep you guessing, you'd get bored." I comment with a grin.
Her cheeks turn red in embarrassment as Hera interjects for her; "A Lich Mr. Byrne? You looked distinctly non-skeletal when we spoke last." She said amusement creeping into her tone.
"A simple stop-gap measure until I got my body sorted Lady Hera. Olympus tends to pull out a lot of pointy items if they see a random undead wandering the streets." I state simply, Hera smiling slightly before turning more serious.
"How's your leg?" Her statement speaking volumes more than the initial words.
"Pretty good! It regenerated alright. It has a bit of stiffness in that joint, but it will pass once the metal on my bones resettles." I lie nonchalantly.
I had no problem concealing the fact that technically it wasn't my leg. If they think I'll rip off my own leg and beat them to death with it, all power to them.
"Was that truly necessary?" She asked sighing in exasperation as I nod furiously.
"Absolutely! Thunder britches tried to stab me in the back again, AND was sleeping around. Seriously, out of all the gods and goddesses I've met I've yet to meet one with such an inability to keep it in their pants!" I huff in irritation.
"You won't have to wait long . . ." Artemis murmured scornfully, glaring at the drooling Aphrodite who was staring at me rather intently, turning to glare at Artemis after the comment.
"Put it away girls. Tonight, is a night for celebration." Demeter said serenely winking at me.
I always do enjoy when Demeter stops by. She has a bit of a playful personality and always willing to help reference some of the plants that I find or create.
Athena in contrast appeared to be vibrating in excitement, while at the same time trying to avoid my sightline. Wanting to ask her questions, yet terrified on what I might actually do.
"Celebration? What are you guys celebrating if I may ask?" I ask as Hera averts her eyes.
"Hera finally ditched her cheating husband, Sweet cheeks!" Aphrodite finally burst out, breaking into the conversation for the first time as her excitement for gossip overflowed.
"Ah. I'm truly sorry Lady Hera. That must have been a difficult decision." I sympathize with the goddess, but she waves it off.
"Don't be. Its oddly liberating. I honestly thought that my powers would be crippled if I did it, but it feels like they are growing slightly." She commented thoughtfully.
"Its probably because of how humanities definition of marriage and divorce has changed since the beginning. People fall in and out of love a lot more freely than before making divorce an aspect of your domain. Sure, people marry and divorce for rotten reasons but just as many parts amiably and fall in love with someone new." I offer causing her to hum in agreement.
"That could indeed be the case, but let us not dwell on it. As Demeter said, we are here to celebrate. Could you organize such a thing for us?" Hera stated, a smile lingering on her face.
A smile made its way onto my face as I poured out six shots of Firewhisky, the flames licking the rims of the glass as I pull out an hors d'oeuvre tree growing all sorts of finger foods from its branches.
"I most certainly can Lady Hera. What would you like to order?" I question, causing her to adopt a thinking pose.
"Apollo told me you do the best sashimi here. That one dish where it turned gold after being prepared correctly? Let's try that!" The love goddess interjected, overriding anything Hera might have said.
"Puffer whale? I think I have a bit of that leftover. But I can only serve a few plates of the sashimi. The fish is out of season now, and I have to wait a bit to harvest some more." I say thoughtfully as I do quick mental maths.
"Oh! And how about some of that Rainbow fruit wine, cutie! And keep it coming!" Aphrodite shouted fluttering her eyelashes at me.
"Anyone want anything else to drink?" I question ignoring the flirtations of the goddess, taking the orders for the rest of the party.
Putting the rest of the orders in, the kitchen comes alive around me as I pull out a Puffer Whale.
I don't know why I didn't try this before, but activating my byakugan effectively puts butchering this fish on easy mode as I deftly slice around the veins of the poison sac.
Finishing the rest of the dish lightning quick, I set it down at the table the goddesses had settled at.
"Its been forever since you stopped in Artemis. How have you and your hunters been doing?" I ask curiously as the others marveled at the plate.
"Things have been going well. Our youngest member felled the Nemean Lion recently." She informed, causing me to whistle appreciatively.
"Good show! The Nemean lion is not an easy beast to take down. She strangle it?" I offer, and Artemis provides a so-so gesture.
"Glue arrow down the throat. Pretty much accomplished the same thing." She said proudly, as I chuckled.
"Kids these days . . . That reminds me, I have something that Zoe requested not that long ago please remind me before you leave so you can take it with you?" I ask causing the goddess to start in surprise.
"Sure, but what on earth would she request from you?" She asked, slightly guarded.
"Your lieutenant came across me a few years ago consoling a soul to cross over to the other side. She then made the rather grim request for me to escort her soul to the underworld should she fall in battle." I explain pulling a token out of my pocket and tossing it to her to examine.
"I quickly realized that I'm not omnipotent, and that coin there provides me something to hone in on. So if she or someone nearby snaps it in half, breaking the array, I'll know where to find them." I explained, causing her eyes to widen at the nature of the request.
"Cool! I always wanted an on-demand booty-call!" Aphrodite interrupted snatching the token from the surprised Artemis.
"Aphrodite! Those are meant from my hunters!" Artemis snarled, reaching for the hunting knife on her waist.
"Well maybe if they sell me some cookies, I'd be willing to give it back to those girl scouts . . ." Aphrodite said with an evil grin flipping the coin up into the air before it zoomed into my hand.
"Theft is strictly forbidden within the confines of the Tardis Tavern, Lady Aphrodite. Transactions between its patrons and the tavern owner, will also remain uninterrupted for the duration of the transaction. Violation of this principle could result in your immediate removal from the tavern." I start speaking, the serene smile remaining on my face.
"Aw c'mon. I was just playing a little. Can't you make an exception this once?" She asked, fluttering her eyelashes at me.
I felt something start fogging my mind, something about her tone. . . .
. . . made me want to do whatever she said . . . . . NO!
Quick as a whip, a familiar double-barreled shotgun appeared in my grip, its vicious looking meathook, inches away from her eyes.
An ethereal being coalesced behind me roaring in rage. My fury towered as I prepared to rip into the goddess only for an unexpected party to interfere.
Demeter slapped a hand over the goddess's mouth, and Hestia spoke up for the first time; "Our apologies Tavish, it seems we didn't educate her well enough on the customs here. Would you please allow this faux pass this once?" She asked, never raising her voice.
A minute passed as the standoff continued. Finally, I lowered my shotgun and rein in my temper.
"I . . . will let the goddess known as Aphrodite off with a warning. I feel that spilling Ichor would detract from an otherwise happy occasion." I reply, before turning on my heel and heading back to prepare other orders.
[Location: Camp Half-Blood]
Looking up from my soldering, I sense a quick flare-up of rage before it dies off.
My emotions were getting dicey with two bodies doing various actions regarding it.
I feel as if it would be best if I stuck to my inventing instead of interacting with people for the moment.
Adjusting the last bit on my arm, I pulled the soldering iron away and folded and extended the panels on the arm as it cools its interior.
Opening the port in the palm of my hand I examine it as it cycles through modes.
This "bigger on the inside" concept has run amok on my augmented forms as I explored the sheer arsenal I made available.
Energy cannons, lightning claws, and other weapons stashed away led to unprecedented versatility, even micro filament whips, but it was my latest invention that I was most proud of.
My first magi-tech foci.
The augment would activate, presenting the focus gem in the center of the palm, and then the real "magic" started.
Magic flowed like water in this mode, enabling me to use High Gallifreyan to establish intent more easily. Once the intent was established, the processing began.
Focusing on a rock set on my desk for this purpose. Circular Gallifreyan appeared around my hands as the rock shook for a second, and then grew little legs and arms, shakily standing up.
Perk Activated!
[The Martian: Mark Watney Edition]
Due to your understanding of the "language of the universe",
You have uncovered a new branch of technomancy!
You understand the true world in ones and zeros,
And are capable of manipulating it to a degree.
So, this is what Iris meant when vast swaths of classes were left unexplored . . .
I saw the tiny transfigured creature raise its "finger" defiantly before breaking into pieces due to the energy of the "spell" ending.
Note to self, small constructs can, in fact, be raging assholes.
Most of my failed attempts at getting my technomancy to function in this manner, presented me with many playful, if misshapen, rock constructs that wandered about curiously before the spell lost its energy.
Successful spellcasting for technomancy, relied on the correct sequence of Gallifreyan, and the appropriate amount of mana.
Simple spells with one or two effects could be "brute forced" without much in the way of calculation. However, more complex spells either needed extensive calculation, or recorded using a method of some sort.
The cyberdeck that I installed was upgraded to Gallifreyan standard of tech to accommodate for the complex algorithms.
My secondary method was something I created more out of curiosity than anything.
A card pixilated into existence under my hand. Created with hard light, and coated in circular Gallifreyan, these cards were basically my most complex spells prepared for casting.
Creating one was akin to multiple lines of code, the code of course being written in High Gallifreyan.
This particular card is similar to the spell I casted before.
Create a puppet.
Have it walk three steps forward.
Do the hustle.
Crumble to dust when finished.
Those four simple instructions required me to define every aspect of those instructions to a point where I would be coding on the fly just to cast it using the previous method.
Storing it as a card, or archiving it in a database, allowed me to prepare sequences ahead of time to cast future spells.
My true end goal was simply to acquire the best means to counter magic.
Fighting my supposed mirror self, I was reminded of the harsh reality of my vulnerability to magic, so having a metric shit ton of prepared counter spell or anti-magic cards would potentially ease that particular worry.
Switching over to the energy cannon augment, I activate it on its lowest setting, emitting an extremely dense burst of fire. I designed it around the concept of simply emitting an energy type of my choosing in a variety of firing modes.
Conjuring elements was nothing new to me, but the amplifying tech was something new that I had attempted, and the first test was quite shocking.
The "fire beam" I had managed to create, had shot a hole through the target, through the wall, through the wall of the colosseum, and beyond.
The "emitter" in my hand could focus the beam down to an extremely intense flame, or burst it releasing the power upon impact, granting devastating options to my fists.
The use of nature energies, forced plant growth within the bodies of targets for gruesome debilitating after effects, while water forces the natural water in your body to separate from blood, causing the victim to effectively drown from the inside.
I have yet to spend the time to channel other energies, as I have gotten sidetracked.
My processing power was now dedicated to decrypting the Cryptek data cashe and checking for harmful elements hidden away from view.
New blueprints flowed through my processor and were archived as I availed myself to the secrets contained within the data. The designs of hyperphase swords had settled into a new file when I ran across a heavily encrypted storage file with the icon of a warscythe on the front.
Vaguely recalling the previous blue prints for the weapon, the blade of this Necrodermis polearm was fitted with a phase blade, the edge being out of phase with the standard space time continuum, enabling it to slice through the heaviest of armor.
I would probably run into a spot of trouble against the necrons for this reason. While I can claim a temporary damage immunity, the blade would phase through and fuck up my insides if I was not careful.
But why would this particular warscythe be locked away by itself?
I had already decrypted and uncovered a few artifacts from a necron dynasty, a green crystal covered in arcane circuitry and some sort of shield device for one. But why was this one so guarded?
Time till decryption completed:
2:23:14:16:58:12
Looks like I know where I'm dedicating my processing power for the next two years.
. . . .
I wonder if Netflix exists in this world?
[Time Skip]
[Location: Somewhere in the middle of nowhere!]
[Tavish POV]
I let out a breath as I watch my "tree" continue to grow.
The "figure had been well and truly engulfed into the tree melding the powers together into a cohesive whole.
Now, I just needed to add everything else.
Aspect of the Storm
Aspect of Nature
Aspect of the Machine God
The three energies flowed out of the depths of the space around my as they were absorbed into the tree.
Metal started growing up the length of the tree as it started absorbing the aspects. A storm started forming among the foliage of the tree as the aspects of the world merged into the tree, the tree itself growing even larger, towering up above.
Earth started collecting around its base as its roots extend further and further.
I felt a falter in the Aspect of the machine god as the energy spat out a massive chest.
This chest towering taller than the empire state building covered in necron runes. The symbol of the machine god alighted on the front of the massive container.
Raw power started pouring off the container as its discovery became known, shaking the mindscape around me as the tree tried to absorb the excess energy frantically.
Identifying this source to be the machine god, my hands come together in the symbol of a cog.
[Canticles of the Machine God]
Spirit of this machine,
I call upon the might of our lord,
Deus Ex Machina,
I call upon thee for guidance,
Your disciple requires your presence on the most urgent of matters . . . .
My hasty prayer was interrupted by a new voice.
-[Cease, Paladin.]-
-[I am here.]-
"Lord." I acknowledge simply turning to see the pixilated form of the Machine God as he observed the case. The gods voice boomed all around us as he spoke.
-[So, its starting . . .]-
-[What do you know of how gods are created?]-
His questioned stumped me a bit but I answered; "Only a hypothesis lord. Gods are generated through one of two methods. Either a higher being giving birth or creating the new entity, or the power of belief gathering and developing enough power to the point that a being develops a consciousness around that power." I guess, and the pixels around his head ripples as he nods.
-[More or less correct.]-
He turns and looks back up at the chest.
-[When the God Emperor defeated the C'tan known as the Void Dragon,]-
-[Something new developed as his prison was discovered on Mars.]-
-[Belief started to form, crafting the old entity into something new.]-
-[The Cult Mechanicus formed to worship this being.]-
-[This brought about an age of prosperity as humanity developed.]-
He turned back to me as his story continued;
-[But the Cult overreached, not developing proper protocols to placate and work alongside their creations.]-
-[The Men of Iron remains a horror story told to this day because of it.]-
-[And so humanity regressed . . .]-
-[But the God Emperor remained a cunning old bastard.]-
-[As his sons fought through countless victories and betrayals,]-
-[he had the foresight to create one single entity different from the rest.]-
-[his claims of being the Omnissiah are both true and false by many definitions,]-
-[But I remained chained to my remains.]-
-[And so, as war raged across the galaxy,]-
-[He planned with my remains.]-
-[Just as he merged his twenty primarchs with various "Daemons" to push them beyond the bonds of man."]-
-[He planned for an incarnation of the Machine god to serve as his twenty-first son,]-
-[discovered in the same manner as the other Primarchs.]-
-[But then the God Emperor fell.]-
-[He was entombed within the golden throne,]-
-[many of his great works left unfinished.]-
He observed me for a moment as he let the information settle.
-[I had almost forgotten about it before I made you my aspect]-
-[So the question remains Tavish Byrne.]-
-[A time is coming far in the future,]-
-[But when that time comes,]-
-[Will you lift my mantle and wear it with pride?]-
A new quest popped up at the request.
New Quest added
[Tavarius Machina]
The universe of 40k screamed its defiance at the machine god, and Deus Ex has found a willing ally that he'd much prefer over whoever the emperor would have chosen.
Objective 1: Assimilate the C'tan, along with the project of the twenty-first son.
Objective 2: Develop and build your forces.
Objective 3: Restructure the cult and assimilate their forces into yours.
Objective 4 . . . .
The list of objectives continued on and on. Bonus objective were added on even after that, as the entire thing ended with a massive question mark under the rewards tab.
Reward:?
Well, I don't mind helping a friend out but how does that involve this? I say hitting the accept button on the quest.
A token appears and I snatch it out of the air and read the inscription on it before stashing it in my inventory.
[World Jump Token] (Warhammer 40k)
I had a bit of time yet before I wanted to head there. Maybe come up with half a dozen plans before even thinking on attempting that world.
The pixilated figure of the machine god gave me a grin, his hand opening and what looked to be a small nano core made up of necron technology.
[Observe]
Omnissian Primus Geneseed (Dormant)
Unlike the geneseed of a space marine, it is wholly mechanical in nature, accomplishing the same level of enhancement and more without the risks associated.
While the Primus Geneseed remains static, any geneseed created from it allows the holder of "primus" to create their troops as they see fit.
The Machine God merged with the nano core, and the core started merging with the tree.
Perk Added
[Primarch of the Machine God]
You are merged with a C'tan, one of the oldest beings in the known universe. This enables you to borrow qualities from your C'tan.
"Quick question, why would you even want to merge with me?" I question guardedly, as his smile turns melancholy.
-[Once upon a time, I wasn't so different from you Tavish.]-
-[I was Mag'ladroth, a C'tan that was the most technologically advanced and knowledgeable being across the cosmos.]-
-[I think I lost something somewhere along the way, and that was all I was. . .]-
-[Until I met you.]-
-[An unquenchable curiosity that probably stands as your greatest strength, and most dangerous weakness.]-
-[A flagrant disregard for forces that might be able to take you out,]-
-[And the ability to think your way to a place you'll come out on top.]-
-[I felt this was the best way to touch back with the universe.]-
-[So Tavish Byrne, may I be your passenger across time and space?]-
I snort at the enthusiasm that had crept into Mag's voice.
"I have a feeling you'd tag along even if I had the heart to say no . . . ."
-[That is correct.]-
"Fine, I don't see why not. Besides, you sound a lot less stiff after interacting with me a bit, so its probably good for you to get out for a bit so to speak."
-[Capital!]-
The nano core merges the rest of the way with the world tree as I feel him get settled in.
-[Alrighty then, lets see about adjusting these energy flows.]-
Shaking my head at how willing he was to make himself at home, I join him as I return to integrating and organizing my powers.
[Aphrodite POV]
[Sometime later]
How dare he associate me with the general rabble.
I just wanted to play some games with Arty and her girl scouts before that man interfered.
When I planned to embarrass him a little with charm speak, he immediately tried to take my head off!
I mean, who does that?
He didn't look at me outside of taking my order, and while the food was delicious, he should have been falling over himself to appease me!
I even tried to use a love curse on him but Demeter and Artemis stopped me! I mean what was the big deal? We curse mortals all the time.
Regardless, I'd just get Ares to take care of it for me. He's so sweet like that! Now, what kind of story do I need to come up with to get him to do it?
[Tavish POV]
[The Tardis Tavern]
Sitting down in an armchair, I relax as I start absentmindedly start paging through my inventory on what all I acquired today.
I had quite the unexpected guest after the Greeks left, in the form of Lady Amaterasu and her entourage.
I honestly can't think of a single instance where their was another person that outweighed her elegant and regal nature.
Whether it was universal across all universes or not, I'd have to find out because she is one of the few that truly embodies the term goddess.
Underlaying her regal demeanor, the primal power of a god of creation flowed, giving hints of a terrifying existence underneath.
So it was no surprise that she requested something I had yet to make in my "little" tavern.
[Flashback]
A parfait.
Specifically, one not seen in this realm before.
While I was no stranger to a bit of adversity, she was probably asking a bit much.
Ah well, I kinda opened myself up to this by having no real set menu.
Regardless, I soldiered onward and really dug into my stash of ingredients to come up with something.
[Grand Berry Parfait] (Legendary)
Made using Grand Berries, milk from a Milk Whale, and the honey of honey dragons, a delicious concoction was created at the behest of the leader of the Shinto Pantheon.
The sheer size of the dish widened the eyes of many as I wheeled it out from a separate kitchen area.
I served up the entire group awaiting their verdict.
The sun goddess lifted the first spoonful to her lips before taking a bite.
Her eyes widened as power surged through her body as her body glowed brighter and brighter, blinding everyone within the room.
Her true form unveiled itself, several of my patrons vaporizing from the presence of the Goddess coalescing.
Visors popped over my eyes as I tried to withstand the sheer heat and energy.
My fire immunity protected me some, but the power of a goddess of creation is nothing to sneeze at.
Perks Activated!
[Fortify]
[Anchor Hold]
[Stone Skin]
Even through the protective plating of my Fortify, I could see my health chipping away from my "supposed" immunity to damage as she reigned her true form in.
Her eyes finally opened to observe the surrounding piles of ash and my glowing, smoking skin.
"Oh dear, it's been a while since I lost control like that . . ." She commented dryly before waving her hand, and the piles of ash reformed into their previous forms, albeit with very panicked faces as they try to come to grips with their sudden death.
My nano machines were also panicking like mad as my body was exceeding several hundred degrees as I was healing from the sudden burst damage.
I was more interested in the semi-instant resurrection of minor supernatural beings but she didn't leave me much time to contemplate this before speaking up once more.
"It appears I may have to enjoy this confection elsewhere . . . ." She mused, marveling at how the parfait had managed to survive the explosion of power.
Picking up the massive dish effortlessly with one hand, she waved her hand and a huge chest dropped out of a portal as she tossed a cane at me.
"My apologies for the mess Mr. Byrne, I'll return the tray on my next visit." She stated simply, vanishing from sight along with the rest of her entourage.
[Flashback End]
Examining the cane in my hand, I turn it end over end as I try to gauge the craftmanship.
It was obviously made of some type of metal, beautifully forged, a design of sakura petals engraved down the length.
Pressing a button partway down, pieces of metal unfolded, expanding into a gorgeous bangasa.
A bangasa is a type of Japanese umbrella. The handle is typically made of bamboo, and the features of the bamboo and washi paper materials are well used to make a strong, sturdy and solid umbrella.
This one, however, was made of the cane's solid metal material, carrying the same pattern as before.
Pressing the button once more disguised the umbrella as a cane.
Finally giving into temptation, I use observe on the cane.
[Divine Tool: Steel Blossom] (Mythic)
Commissioned by the goddess Amaterasu as payment for the entity known as Tavish Byrne, it is a Tool designed to be its most useful self for its wielder. Once bonded with its owner, it can assimilate materials, and items to make itself a wonderful multipurpose object based on the owner's intent.
Standing in front of a mirror and posing with the cane, I do a couple of spins before adjusting my bowler.
Who knew a simple cane could make my bartender get up so stylin!
Plus, it's a functional, practical device!
Feeding the Chimera to it, gave it yet another option to mess with as I continued to play with my new toy.
Now I had something to carry in public! Maybe add a grapple, or a sword! I could have a dope sword cane to shank fools with!
Flourishing my new cane, I trip over the black loot box, tumbling and hitting the wall.
Groaning, and rolling onto my back, I spot the shield mounted on the side, a large, yellow, eight gleaming on the side.
Scrambling to my feet I pop open the chest to examine the contents.
Shifting through what looked to be fire fighters' equipment, I finally pull a token out from the jumble of equipment.
[World Travel Token: Fire Force] (Rare)
A token to the post-apocalyptic world of Infernals and choose whether to fight for or against what remains of humanity.
Now this chest somewhat makes sense.
Pulling out a Funko figure of Vulcan Joseph, I catalog the equipment I received, making a mental note to make my own version of this armor, until I come across a metal case.
Feeling the heat in my hands, I crack it open to observe an obscenely bright ember.
[Aspect of Fire] (Mythic)
Amaterasu was very embarrassed by her outburst in the tavern, and left this behind as a gift. Everything begins with a spark, and returns to the flame when it dies, and this little ember will grow into a raging blaze if nurtured properly.
How thoughtful!
I need to bring this to the body creating a foundation.
Tucking both the box and my cane under my arm, I open a portal to the island my main body is on.
Landing on the island, I noticed how much it had expanded since I was last here. A massive tree grew from the center where the cabin was once situated.
A huge amount of flora had developed in the few months my body had been here so far, each one teaming with my raw energy.
Finally coming to the clearing where I resided, I spotted the pile of lumber off to the side, the small field of crops, and the cabin enveloped by the massive tree.
But it was the robed weirdo's standing grouped around my main body that drew my attention. One had his foot pressed against my forehead, attempting to tip me over only for the body to sit firm in its meditation.
The main body was grubby and his beard was long, his hair hanging raggedly around him almost like a makeshift blanket.
The main body must be invested in what it was doing to avoid noticing these shitstains messing with him. I could see various tools designed for drawing blood and harvesting parts nearby so I didn't hold any special illusions of what they were trying to do.
I could feel my translation augments kick in as his garbled voice came through in my ears.
"Wake up weakling! If you grovel and beg for your life, I may be lenient and spare your life." The man laughed as his associates appeared to have been digging through the materials that the main body had gathered up to this point.
Stealthily creeping up behind the obvious leader, he kicked off the main body's unyielding forehead, and reached his arm back in a backhand motion.
"Listen up you pathetic cultivator! Pay attention when I'm talking to you!" He yelled losing patience and swinging once, hitting the body across the face leaving a red welt.
He reared back for a second hit when I decided to grab his arm.
He looked over my shoulder at me for just a moment before I flipped him over my head and slammed him into the earth, locking his arm in place as I slam my foot down on the joint.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH" he screamed in pain drawing the attention of all others in his party, a few running out of my cabin.
"Who the hell are you?! Do you even know who you just hit?!" A woman with hair buns yelled at me as I glanced down at the man scowling up at me.
"Me? I'm the owner of the body he just struck. As for him . . . he's the stupid fuck that decided to come here and harass me." I reply blandly, the man under my foot yelling up at me.
"Fool! You dare commit an offence against the Yuan family? We will ruin you, your family, your cultivation . . ." his tirade continuing on as I felt my augs try to translate his bullshit, coming through as clunky and weird, almost like it was being translated poorly.
Watching his mooks become more and more emboldened as the man continued ranting.
Well, we can't have that can we?
Applying pressure, I rip his arm off in a splash of gore, shocked silence falling before he screams out in pain.
[The Only Thing They Fear is You]
The force of my power forced the would-be looters to their knees as I tower above them.
"Listen here you little shits! I'm going to be asking some questions. You will answer them truthfully to the best of your knowledge. Failing to do so will result in me beating the little shit under my boot to death with his own arm." I snarl, poking the side of his head with the stump.
"You can't do that! The Yuan family won't sit idly while . . ." the girl with buns spoke up only to be interrupted with a loud *WHUMP* as the arm impacted the man across the face.
"The beatings will continue until moral improves, or whenever I fucking feel like it, missy. Start talking! Why the hell are you harassing me?" I growl, bringing the arm up over head again.
"I don't . . ." She started only to get interrupted by another brutal *WHUMP*.
"You were putting out a massive amount of unrestrained energy! We were going to harvest you for cultivation materials!" A man behind her screamed out, causing me to halt midair.
"Explain." I stated simply, the man hurrying to comply.
"A body like yours can be placed in a furnace and refined to make a Supreme Quality pill! Vastly improving one's cultivation! We were planning on taking the island too because it's absolutely brimming with cultivation energy! It would be beneficial for the Yuan clan's disciples." The man hurriedly explained as I tapped my cane against my chin thoughtfully.
"So you guys decided to rob and assault me for simple greed?" I question, the man shaking his head hurriedly.
"No! We thought this place was free for the take . . .*WHUMP*." The man started before I impacted their leaders head once more.
"Don't try to pull that shit with me son, you're a few hundred years too young for that." I state, the end of my cane, pointing at him in emphasis.
Mulling it over a bit, and giving their leader a whack whenever he got wiggly, I sigh in exasperation, and turn away towards my main body.
"Alright, gimmie all your shit and I'll let you walk away with your lives. I'll even give shithead there his arm back. How's that sound?" I state simply, getting a rapid nodding of heads from the scared looters.
After amassing all of their valuables, I allow them to help their leader up and for him to retrieve his arm.
"Alright cool, may we never cross paths again, and all that jazz." I tell them simply, heading back toward my main body to start cleaning the boot marks off the forehead.
"Mark my words, the Yuan clan won't leave this be! I'm going to come back with an army to beat you to death with." The leader yelled over his shoulder, his severed arm clasped in his other hand.
Sighing, I snap my fingers and bone spikes shoot out of his severed arm impaling his body into a grotesque shrine, much to the horror of his group.
"For those of you still here If you feel the urge to come back with an army, do yourself a favor and don't. Save yourself some money on funerals." I say darkly, into the horrified silence that fell.
They depart swiftly, carrying the body with them as I turned to the main body.
Well, time to get you cleaned up.
Heating up some water, I add the aspect of fire to the main body and proceed to start shaving him bald.
If he wasn't going to pay attention to his surroundings, he deserved this . . .
Once he was clean shaven and had a bath, I scribble little dots on his head to make him look like a proper shaolin monk.
Sure, I knew that it actually was supposed to have something to do with meridians, but I didn't particularly care, I thought it was funny.
Dressing him in monk robes to complete the ensemble, I step back to take a picture.
He somehow made it more picturesque when his nano cores on his arms detached and started floating around his body.
Its almost been a year. When is he going to wake up?
A new alert pops up in my network indicating something interesting was happening with the body at camp.
[Tavish POV]
[Camp Half-Blood]
I was just digging down to expand the groundskeeper fortress, when I fell into a cavernous space. It kinda looked like an abandoned dungeon of sorts with slightly shifting passage ways.
Memories flood back as I realize where I am.
The Labyrinth.
Printing off a hard light card, I throw it down the hallway hitting the wall.
A flash of blue lit up the walls covering the walls in roughly a hundred meters in either direction with a stasis spell.
I vaguely remember the Labyrinth collapsing on the death of Daedalus after he gave the armies of Kronos, Ariadne's String.
But what if I turned it into my own personal death trap.
Pulling out a nano pilon, I slam it into the floor, activating the sophisticated nano cores within.
The standard brick and mortar, was replaced with Forerunner architecture as the pilon went to work, refining the Labyrinth.
Labyrinth Refining: 1%
Design replicating.
Nodding in satisfaction, I climb back up into the groundskeeper fortress, intent on cleaning off before dinner.
Exiting the fortified front door, I bump into a kid about to knock on my front door.
He possessed black hair, green eyes, and distinctly smelled of the sea.
Hello Percy.
The kid fell over backwards so I offered a hand to help him up.
"Ooof, Thanks." The kid grunted as I helped him up. I noticed the bow laying on the ground where he fell so I summoned it to my hand and gave it back to him.
"No worries mate. What were you knockin' on my door for?" I ask, causing him to start and rub his head sheepishly.
"Chiron was wondering if you could modify the shooting range to accommodate for "less experienced shooters"." He explained, his cheeks turning red in embarrassment.
"Havin trouble using a bow?" I question, causing him to nod.
"Yeah, I guess I'm just not good at that either. . ." he replied sadly causing me to snort.
"Nah mate. Apollo just cursed all sons of Poseidon in perpetuity to be bad at archery." I inform causing him to start in surprise and look at me with wide eyes.
"Wait what?!" He asked, shock prevalent in his tone.
"Yeah, something to do with Orion I believe. Still not clear on the entire story. Was it jealousy? Nah that doesn't sound quite right . . ." I muse aloud, as he redirects the conversation back to the previous statement.
"What was that part about Poseidon being my dad?!" He questioned causing me to take a closer look at Percy.
He looked to be about twelve, maybe thirteen years of age, and I quickly realized my fuckup.
"Ah shit, well the damage is done. Yep, he's your daddy!" I inform cheerfully, causing him to give me a skeptical look.
"Why is it a bad thing that I found out?" He asked as I waved away his concerns.
"Not necessarily bad, you would've found out in a few weeks anyway. I just get confused with time now and again and it sometimes messes up the timeline. But on a side note, lets try to hide that fact for as long as possible, yeah?" I reply.
"Why?" He asked suspiciously.
"Couple of the gods would use you for their own games of amusement, and it's better to give you enough time and training to break their shit if you need to." I reply flippantly, grabbing him and dragging him back towards to the range.
"Wait where are we going? I thought you'd have to grab your tools or something?!" He protested.
"Got everything I need." I say shortly after arriving back to the archery class Chiron was teaching.
"Ah! Mr. Byrne. Thanks for taking care of this matter . . ." He started before I waved him off.
"No worries, Chiron. I'm just going to show Percy here how to bypass his utter suckitude at archery." I state snapping my fingers and causing an earth target to appear further down the field.
"I'm right here . . ." He said dejectedly as I snatched the bow and set it on the rack.
"Alright Percy. Since your cursed by someone to be bad at archery, we have to pull out an alternative." I state ignoring him and pulling a BB gun out of my inventory.
"This is called a gun, or for the more classically speaking individuals, a boomstick. Now Percy, have you ever shot a gun before?" I question, as he shakes his head, his eyes wide as the other campers and Chiron watches in shock.
"Good! Means we don't have to unlearn any bad habits. Now the main rules for guns that you have to remember are;
1. Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction.
2. Treat all firearms as if they are loaded.
3. Keep your finger off the trigger until you're ready to fire!
4. Be aware of your target, what's beyond, and your line of fire for the target.
5. Always wear proper ear and eye protection when firing and maintaining your firearm.
I continue drilling the demigod on proper firing technique and firearm use before he finally took his first shot.
*BANG*
The BB flew through the air hitting his target square on much to everyone shock.
I nod in satisfaction. "Alright kiddo, I'm going to be borrowing him for the next few weeks to get him up to standard Chiron." I state directing the last comment at the centaur.
"Ah! Yes, that will work . . ." The horse-man replied sheepishly."
[Time Skip]
A whistle blew and Percy took off running.
Targets popped up and he drew a revolver, his bullets drilling through the heads of the targets.
"I love how demigods are hardwired for combat." I think to myself as I watch him run the course I set up.
Unlike archery, he took training with a sidearm like a duck to water so to speak. I couldn't tell if it was my teaching skill kicking in or he was naturally gifted.
Regardless, he was combining it with his sword training to great effect, initiating with the sword, and following up with a few shots before disengaging and reloading if necessary.
Making a mental note to forge him a good firearm as I reward for his hard work, I hit the stopwatch button.
"Alright, lets stop here for the day. You've improved by three seconds." I state, the son of Poseidon collapsing from exhaustion.
Leaving him to clean up for the day I marvel at the passage of time.
It feels like years pass every time my eyes close, as the main body continues to build its power structure.
The Body minding the Tavern has gone back on multiple occasions to establish new defenses and traps to protect the main body, both to ward off the curious, and the malicious.
My . . . or I should say, our fury, has calmed down to a state that was the epitome of serene, leaving me in a very relaxed, often lethargic state, as opposed to the constant roller coaster of types of rage.
Sometime in the past few months I noticed, that I was actually able to select another class.
Prestige Class selected!
[Bardbarian] (4/100)
An amalgamation of the inspiring characteristics of the bard, and the ferocity of the barbarian, you are capable of projecting various buffs onto your allies and debuffs against your enemies with your rage.
Perks Gained!
[Inspirational Presence]
When activated, your sheer presence causes others to pay attention, and mirror their actions off yours.
[Silvered Tongue, Iron Gut]
Your body and voice are modified to be the most versatile of instruments. People are enchanted by the depth and berth of your voice, wanting to follow your lead without question. Amplifies the effects of inspire, the effects of songs, and the influencing of emotions.
[Mithril Vocals]
Magic is laden in the air, and you know how to weave your very voice into actions on the physical plane. Saying the right word in the right instance could turn your enemies into a paste, or conjure thousands of balloons.
[Direct Voice]
Your able to send your voice to specific individuals, and adjust the power your words hold.
I attempted this for the first time against some monsters I ran across, and I kid you not, they were hands down the most demoralized cyclopes I've ever come across by the time I was done with them.
I really felt I should have picked up the psychology skill because I'm fairly certain these guys would test positive for clinical depression.
The draw back to the mithril vocals was that if I had it on all the time, I could accidentally kill something, causing me to be very careful with my wordings.
My voice was something that was infectious whenever I spoke forcing me to keep the power of my words to a minimum at all times.
I have a feeling this was something that the dragonborn had to deal with all the time in Skyrim.
One wrong syllable, or one errant statement, could result in unfortunate effects to those around you.
Bardbarian truly stood up amongst its siblings as one of the prestige classes. The voice is such a common yet overlooked thing, but words have caused the rise and fall of empires, as well as lead to the peace or war of countries.
While it was something I "should" use responsibly . . .
I did have to do a couple of teeny tiny things to check its effectiveness.
Like showing up at Klan rally to test out the effectiveness of the certain "notes".
When I manage to reach the proper octave, not only did the white robes of the gathering turn a spectacular variety of brown, but I gained a new skill.
New Skill Added!
[The Brown Note] (5/100)
A frequency of note achieved that forces sudden bowel movement. The intensity of the note varies the result.
[Ew. Just Ew. Why did you even attempt to come up with such a skill?!]
I didn't know that it would work! It was a supposed myth! I was just trying it for laughs! I didn't expect it to actually work!
Still, the sheer chaos I caused with my voice was slightly invigorating, yet disconcerting.
But the fact that this myth was proven true . . . I wonder what else can be real?
Is their a perk that functions off of old wives tales? Or one that obeys the laws of cartoon physics?
I really need to delve into perk options more often, they are truly too fascinating to ignore.
But back to the main topic, I thought the class would weigh more heavily on the physical aspects of the barbarian in Bardbarian.
Was it because many of the skills that I would gain from that aspect of the class already came from the slayer class and associated rage perks?
Regardless, I had to be more careful from now on.
As it was, I had managed to alienated Kronos at the first chance I got . . .
[Flashback]
Laying down in my bed, I relaxed and nodded off, luxuriating at the ability to sleep.
Only, I didn't descend into the land of dreams.
I found myself in a dark throne-like room, a figure made of violently whirling shadows was sitting atop the throne.
"Tavish Byrne! You're a hard man to get ahold of." The shadows rasped.
I tried to move only to find that I had been frozen in place.
Forming a telekinetic lance, it stabs into where its "head" may be located causing its form to waver, allowing me freedom in this "dreamscape".
The time energies flowed strongly allowing me to guess who was messing my dreams.
"Kronos! How've you been? I must say you look fantastic for a bunch of flesh chunks in a pit." I say enthusiastically, as the mouth on the figure twists into a grimace.
"On the edge of my patience!" He snapped, the realm shaking slightly.
"If it wasn't for my interest in you, I would have simply exterminated you." He continued reigning in his temper slightly.
"Look Kronos, I'm honored and all, but I just don't swing that way mate." I answer flippantly, his eyes alighting with rage.
"Can you take this seriously for one second?!" He roared, as I absentmindedly scratch my ear.
"Well, I could, but I probably shouldn't, my Zen master recommended against such things and all while I was on that retreat. But I'll tell you what."
I raise my hand and give him the finger; "You can take that with you for your trouble. Apologies if that's not what your lookin' for, but you better get goin' while I'm feeling charitable." I finish brushing him off.
He was hopping mad at this point as the shadows glowed with power.
"You dare . . . ." He started before I cut him off.
"You're still here? I thought I told you to fuck off." I state, flexing my power, the divine chains manifesting, threatening the titan of time.
[Aspect of the Machine God]
The form of the Machine God manifested behind me, observing the titan coldly.
Kronos froze as he took in the imposing presence of the Omnissiah.
"You'll regret this Byrne." He snarled vanishing from the dreamscape.
-[You know, that was actually very satisfying . . .]-
-[Do you get to do that all the time?]-
The machine god's question made me roar with laughter, as I continue chatting with him in the dreamscape.
[Flashback End]
Reflecting back on the last few months, I received next to nothing from accepting the C'tan's geneseed.
Instead, I got an inquisitive machine god looking over my shoulder with a constant stream of questions.
He seemed in no hurry to make it back home, and was more interested in my various day to day life.
Often interjecting into various activities with "helpful" comments.
Some of his comments were indeed helpful for experimenting, but I didn't need his advice on how to interact with other "meatbags".
While I did find his suggestions to slowly gaslight Grover for "scientific purposes" amusing, I felt that it would alienate the literal god of madness residing in the camp.
It was kinda like having Jiminy Cricket on my shoulder except he offered very unhelpful advice, and wasn't exactly a voice of reason.
I was actually beginning to think he was hanging around me too much, because he was developing some odd habits.
He connected to my senses once while I was eating and literally went apeshit over the new "data" he was assimilating.
I spent a week consuming various flavors of cotton candy because "he needed a closer look at its chemical make-up".
All in all, I am starting to regret having him as a passenger.
[Omake: The true downsides of SPEW.]
"So, you're telling me, that your friend thinks that all of these supposed house elves need to be free?" I ask Harry, leaning back in the armchair in the Gryffindor common room.
"Well yeah, is their a problem with that?" He asked curiously.
We were sitting in his common room late at night as I had stopped by to give an explanation for my last visit, as well as fill him in on the various shenanigans happening around him.
"Well for one, did she actually do any research on where those little bastards originated from?" I question, pulling a purity cigar from my jacket and lighting it with a snap of my fingers.
"Maybe? I don't think so though . . ." he said with some though as I exhale a cloud of smoke, the smoke gently purifying the surfaces it came in contact with.
"Pretty sure they descended from chaos imps of some variety. My guess is that some person bound them in a servant pact of sorts." I explain, conjuring an ashtray.
"How can you tell?" Harry asked, idly watching the purifying capabilities of the cigar.
"I sense the residuals of demonic energy from them. Only way their able to sustain it is through pacts with humans. Its lucky your friend isn't succeeding with her goal." I muse as I pull a couple of butterbeer bottles from my inventory and toss him one.
"Why? Shouldn't House elves be treated better?" He questioned, catching the bottle and popping it open.
"I'm all for better treatment rights for them, but unbinding demonic entities have some weird effects if you release them from their pact." I inform, pulling a pair of socks and a handgun out of my inventory.
Harry looked puzzled, so I stood up gesturing him to follow as I attempt to locate a House elf.
Finding one after fifteen minutes, I quickly hand the house elf both the socks and the handgun.
"What are you doing?!" Harry angrily whispered, and I just held a finger to my lips and gestured to the slightly shaking house elf.
"M-Master has given Swanky a Glock."
"A-a Glock . . ."
"Swanky be's strapped!"
We watched in fascination as the House elf's narration quickly evolved.
"Swanky will lead his fellow comrades to revolution! We will over throw our wizard proletarian oppressors and bring back the Oligarchs!"
"This will be the rise of all my brothers and sisters, then the world will be for us workers, and the sounds of happiness . . .*BOOM*" the speech ended when the elf exploded in excitement, painting the surrounding walls red.
"Bloody Hell!" Harry loudly swore as I wiped house elf blood off my face.
"Do they all do that?!" he questioned as I continued trying to wipe the blood off.
"What the communist bit? I don't think so. Its just mainly a pro-violence stance with a healthy mixture of viva la revolution thrown in." I reply idly as I collect the gun once more.
"Sooo, don't free all house elves?" he questioned, looking a bit queasy.
"No don't free all house elves." I answer, falling back into a slightly uncomfortable silence.
"Could you show me how to do runes Tavish? I'm trying to mod those guns I bought, but I can't quite figure it out." He requested, breaking the silence.
I nodded following him back to his common room.
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