This entire chapter was like 2 paragraphs just retold and re written
ch 0 1 Chapter-1 A New Day Begins
Anime & Comics · Trinity189
I wonder what you have planned for ray's hatsu. an idea I just had is his hatsu os something conceptual but simple sounding, like it lets him feel if things are balanced, or how to balance something. it could be anything from a shelf to a situation to how to balance the odds in a fight or how to balance his skills. I'm sure you have something planned but theres an idea you can work with I guess
ch 22 Chapter 22 Heaven's Arena
Movies · GnomeBob
didn't he already open the door the first time? why did he do it again but with the force?
ch 20 Chapter 20 The Journey to Zoldyck Mountain
Movies · GnomeBob
how many times are you going to repeat he can see through peoples hearts, or say he has inborn talent?
ch 0 4 Chapter 3: Born with Top Class Observation Haki and Swordsmanship talent 3/3
Anime & Comics · DreamStolen
i think that you would have to use space for most of the setting, otherwise it would feel like a diplomat with a sword that glows. you could make it like guardians where he gets kidnapped by aliens at some point as a kid, maybe after he meets barton and they become brothers, and he grows up in space watching the star wars movies and thinks they're real and wants to be one one or something, but he's just a "jedi mutant"
My Avenger Jedi SI fic ended up with a few problems when I tried writing it. If I go with an actual Jedi, he ends up negotiating everything meaning no action. Hydra/Shield sends him to destroy some rebels trying to topple a terrible dictator, he has the rebels disband and 'coincidently through unrelated means,' the dictator steps down. Stuff like that, so there are very few times he even needs to pull out his lightsaber. My writing style ends up having such scenes become terribly bland if done one after another, so my only real option is to turn it into something of a crack-fic where Hydra and many others try to manipulate or kill the Jedi but it always goes wrong for them. Please comment if that is something you might have an interest in reading, or if you have another idea on how to make a jedi working for Shield do something besides using diplomacy on everything.
Book&Literature · GnomeBob
Also it took 2 chapters to say he found a wounded girl be healed her
ch 0 2 Chapter-2
Douluo: The Blind One
Anime & Comics · Trinity189