ตอน 117: Sasuke Vs. Haku
Facing Haku's mirror technique, Sasuke was worried. What would Kazuma do? What would Jun do? What about Izumi, Neji, or Karin? What would Kakashi, Kiba, or even Sakura do? Sasuke's brain was spinning empty, his eyes jumping from one mirror to another, still confronted with Haku's reflection that seemed to sit in the center of each mirror and completely surround him.
"You are from the Yuki clan," Sasuke said.
The mirrors shuddered, and a shocked expression appeared on Haku's face.
"You know of my clan?"
Sasuke sniffed disdainfully, looking at the Jutsu frantically seeking its weakness. If he could get Haku to talk to buy some time…
"Konoha welcomed many refugees from the Land of Water. Some came from clans with Kekkei Genkai. They became ninjas and were in my class at the Academy."
What was the name of this white-haired grey-eyed guy, who was in Shikamaru's team? Naiki, or something like that. Sasuke hadn't paid much attention to his classmates.
"Really?" Haku whispered, eyes shining with emotions. "I thought I was alone. I thought I was the last one. In a way, I probably am. My clan was massacred, and the few survivors scattered around and went into hiding. I grew up without any family after my father found out that my mother was from the Yuki clan, and he killed her…"
Haku paused as if overwhelmed by emotion. Sasuke forced himself to remain impassive, but inwardly he couldn't help but feel compassion. He knew the pain of seeing family kill each other.
"The people with Kekkei Kenkei were feared and hated," Haku said. "My father tried to kill me too. I was scared. I ended up using my Kekkei Gekkai and I… He died. I wandered for days and almost died. No one wanted me. I would have died if Zabuza hadn't taken me in. He found me useful. He didn't kill me. On the contrary, he accepted me, he took care of me, he taught me to fight, and he made me a place by his side. I became his weapon. Without him, I'm nothing, I'm no one."
He shook his head, and when he looked back at Sasuke, the latter could see traces of sadness.
"Can you understand what it feels like? The agonizing solitude? To live without a future, without anyone who loves or needs you? Knowing that no one will even notice if you disappear, that no one cares about you, that your life has no meaning or value, that it won't change anything if you die tomorrow or today?"
Sasuke clenched his teeth, suddenly furious. Of course, he knew it! And how dare Haku use that as an excuse? Because his life was harsh, was that a reason to give up? Become a weapon in the hands of others, abandon one's desires and individuality? No, it was worse than death, and Sasuke's whole soul revolted at this idea. He simply couldn't accept the idea. He was disgusted Haku would let himself be used as a weapon.
"Katon: Great Fireball!"
The fireball crashed into the mirrors in a gigantic explosion of flames and steam, and Sasuke rushed forward. The mirrors were already repairing themselves, but Sasuke's Sharingan was recording the tiniest details… the size of the cracks, the movement of Haku's reflection, the way he had shuddered, how fast the mirrors were fixing themselves…
"You think I don't know?!" Sasuke roared and slashed one of the weakened mirrors.
The mirror exploded into a thousand sharp shards. In all the other mirrors, Haku made a great gesture with his arm and the pieces of ice hung in the air, then crept over Sasuke like a wave of sharp daggers. He dodged, rolled, and struck with his sword to repel them. He escaped the biggest ones, but dozens of bloody cuts appeared on his arms, legs, back, and all over his body, He barely felt the pain as he still fuming with rage.
"Itachi massacred my family! Father… Mother… Everyone... And he forced me to relive the massacre in a loop for days and days, to break me, to lose everything and wonder if it would not be easier to die… But I refused to give up!"
Sasuke struck Haku's reflection, but the latter seemed to jump from one mirror to another. However, Sasuke pursued him relentlessly.
"Itachi failed!" he cried savagely. "He couldn't kill all the Uchihas, there are still some left! And even if there were only me left... I refuse to lie on the ground and wait for death, to let myself be used by others, and to abandon my dignity and pride! I refuse to be a tool, just as I refuse this loneliness. I refuse that these are the only two possible options!"
Sasuke was a fighter. He was a survivor, and he would cling to the life of all his might, no matter what kind of tragedy tried to make him bow down and give up! He had decided to fight, instead of giving up and begging someone else to take control! With a new cry of rage, Sasuke sent a new Katon Jutsu to the mirrors, creating another explosion. Vapor rose up. Haku reappeared in another mirror, looking strangely resigned.
"So we are at an impasse. Do not blame me ... I must protect the desires of Zabuza. I owe him everything."
Sasuke clenched his teeth, out of breath but refusing to slow down. His chakra was dramatically low. He only had enough for one other big fireball. He had to calculate the timing perfectly. Anger, exaltation, terror and adrenaline were bubbling through him like a volcano ready to explode.
Haku was hiding behind his devotion to Zabuza but the truth was that he had let it go. He had decided that nothing in this world was worth defending… that nothing was worthy of being protected. But Sasuke wasn't like that! It didn't matter why Itachi spared him during the massacre.
Sasuke had survived, and it was what mattered. He had survived and since that night he had only waited for a sign, but in the end, no one but him could make sense of his life. Jun had helped him understand that. He was Sasuke Uchiha! He was from the clan of Jun, Izumi, Kazuma, the clan of Father and Mother, and all the Uchihas who had come before him. He was Sasuke Uchiha of Konoha, a member of Team 7. He was going to fight!
"Me too, I have things to protect! My life! My family! My village! My future! Katon, Great Fireball!"
Another big ball of fire exploded, drowning the mirror dome in flames and steam, cracking the ice and causing the ground to tremble. Sasuke threw himself forward. He slapped his sword against the mirror of ice with such force that the blade shattered, but he didn't slow down. He knew what he had seen with his Sharingan. He knew what was real and what was an illusion. He knew the damage his Katon had caused. He knew exactly how to take advantage of it.
His broken sword sank into the mirror, right in the reflection of Haku's chest.
For a moment, everything seemed to freeze.
Then the mirror flashed…. Impaled by Sasuke's sword, eyes wide open, a huge red spot rapidly growing around the handle of the sword planted in his tunic… Haku remained the only tangible thing as all his mirrors of ice fell apart around them.
Haku trembled and spat out blood. His legs seemed to drop under him, and he fell. All of a sudden Sasuke realized it was real, that Haku was dying, and that he was the one who killed him. He unconsciously held his breath. He stumbled back, leaving his sword planted in Haku's chest, then Haku swung forward, and without thinking Sasuke caught up with him.
He shouldn't have caught up with him. He was an enemy. He was an enemy and he had killed him. Sasuke should just leave him and go rescue his teammates… But instead, with his hands a little shaky, he helped Haku get to the ground. The young nukenin found himself on his back, pale, hands on his wound. Blood soaked his clothes. Sasuke had struck just under the heart, probably puncturing a lung in the way. Haku was dying. Sasuke killed him.
"You saw through my Jutsu," Haku whispered weakly. "I failed... Zabuza... will be disappointed…"
Already the blood had gone through his tunic and was spreading to the ground. Sasuke felt the hot liquid against his knees. The sensation violently threw him back five years, to that nightmarish evening, to the tatami mat in the living room soaked in the blood of his father…
Haku took a raucous breath, and Sasuke suddenly returned to the present. He swallowed, feeling weak. Deep down, he would have preferred not to kill Haku. But he knew he had no choice. Haku wouldn't have let him go. He was hellbound on following Zabuza's orders. Even with that in mind, Sasuke still felt bad.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
Haku sketched a faint smile.
"I left you with no other choice…"
He closed his eyes. His chest no longer lifted. The pool of blood, which now bathed Sasuke's knees, ceased to widen under his body.
Sasuke didn't move. He felt sick and weak. He had been furious and terrified. He wanted to live. He fought for survival. He didn't regret it. But why was he feeling so bad about killing Haku? The latter was kind. In a way, he resembled Kazuma. He didn't deserve to die. He didn't even die for a cause he believed in, or to protect someone he cared about. He was dead because of an order. An order given to him because he was seen as a weapon, a tool.
Haku said he didn't give him a choice. But in the end, the one who didn't have a choice was Haku. He could only follow Zabuza's orders regardless of how they made him feel. Sasuke closed his eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted. He wanted to go home.
He stood up, took one last look at the body of his enemy, then turned away. He was out of chakra. He was tired. He was sad. He had won the fight. He had killed the enemy. But it brought him no happiness. In a different context, he believed Haku and he could have understood each other. They could have become friends. But the world was so cruel. Sasuke wanted to go home, but he couldn't. Not yet… He couldn't leave his comrades behind.
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