Webnovel Author: dukroger - Fanfic Collection

It's one thing for the MC to have several relationships, even with married women, to do experiments on humans, since they were the worst criminals, all of this was still tolerable, but to have someone's knowledge reach the point of wanting to torture their sister's innocent soul of this person... honestly this made a huge disappointment with this MC and this story.

The MC doesn't need to give up who he once was, just adapt and evolve, even peaceful men can become warriors, so all he had to do was maintain his kindness and ideals realistically.

the mc can gain demon slayer breathing modes, in an adapted way, like in addition to physical conditioning, this would be a training technique for the inherent ky and magic of those who practice it, even in the future for techniques that use chakra, for example, it could be said that the mc by fusing ky and magic, representing bodily and mental energy, could create his version of chakra, even the lack of a chakra coil system can be overcome by some body modification ability mixing magic and science.

thanks

Unfortunately no, I just don't understand why the translator doesn't make it available, after all if someone is going to do a translation they should at least indicate the original work.

What is the original name of the work? I tried searching using that title but the work I found is not the same

As someone with high blood pressure, I will leave tips for the author and other people with the same problems, eat chayote every day, mix some cinnamon powder with milk, make a smoothie with oats, flaxseed and chia seeds, blend in a blender with banana and apple, it can serve as dinner or an afternoon snack. Eat foods rich in collagen and omega 3, if you can't then take capsules. Overall this will help a lot.

Be careful when killing certain villains, the joker for example, has already been resurrected due to the Dionysian factor of a special metal, and when he dies he can contaminate others with a joker virus, simplifying the will of the universe makes certain characters almost impossible to get rid of completely and even can cause serious problems for the MC.

Sentinel Guardian, is a simple name and matches the names of DC or Marvel heroes

Try to get silk, preferably silkworms, the process of creating the insects and then making the silk is not that complicated considering the conditions of the mc. Silk is an excellent material for the internal lining of armor, as well as a great material for clothing and bed sheets and things like that. Then use the leather using thin metal plates covered in rubber, glue them in one layer and then place another layer on top, if done well it will be light armor with excellent protection. If you can make some material with a similar effect to Kevlar that would be great. It would be something like this, just add a layer of leather or something similar to Kevlar on top.

This way you can reach a larger audience, see someone from Africa, Asia, Europe, Oceania, North America, South America, regardless of the location, they can identify with or just have empathy, unlike a grower, this would restrict the audience, on the Harem, the mc may start without wanting to have one, but as the first women he would live with were Lala and then characters from the world of dxd, they could over time make him see that this is possible, as long as it is not something imposed or forced by Somehow, some women would accept it and others would just want friendship because they didn't agree.

Many people have problems with the cultivation story, due to the racism and poison of many Chinese stories, so I think it's a bit risky, how about you make him an intelligent young man who had a daughter with his childhood sweetheart, because it wasn't something planned he had difficulties and ended up joining the army, and died fighting against terrorists who wanted to establish a dictatorship to destroy families and nations of what is right or wrong of the existence of good and evil, he would die as a hero with faith in his love for his wife and daughter and world. This would make the MC have a young mind, but one that knows how to take responsibility and strive to get what he wants or face stressful situations. This can help to explain emotional maturity and thoughts and attitudes.

It's good to see that the author friend is willing to improve himself, the story has a good premise, with certain changes I'm sure everything will be better, it will be good to see the MC make an effort to achieve things or improve what he already has, like we can have more empathy for the story.

The mc needs to form state schools independent of the masters, first teach language, mathematics and patriotic ethics to the youngest, up to eight years of age, starting from 3, then include classes such as geography and general culture until the age of ten, and then select technical knowledge such as carpentry, stone work, commerce, engineering, and similar, all in civil areas, create a military aspect to train soldiers or officers, this will increase the recognition of the population, increase the king's power, create improvements in qualified labor and increase the king's power as the Citadel's power decreases, even courses relating to medicine, first aid and the like can be taught.

Okay, I just want to help you see that you can write a good story without needing so many support crutches, like how you use the system to give powers or abilities to the mc, note that all the suggestions I made were using things from your original story , just use it in different ways, don't fall into the same traps that many other authors fall into, give solutions from God's machine, use your thinking capacity, this will help you as an author and maybe even in other things in life, blessings and stay with God .

You already gave a parallel dimension, where he developed the bar and other things, I'll give an example of how you could make changes, but in a way that is similar to your story: the MC would start in this world as a child (if I'm not mistaken at the beginning of the in the story you wrote that he had already been in this world for a long time), he would notice the dimension linked to him, he would over time create the system as a help tool, kind of like a computer, the dimension would be the physical part and the system It would represent an operating system to facilitate user use, the assistant's personality would be like an Artificial Intelligence, like Jarvis from Iron Man, only more intelligent and capable. It would be a personal assistant and companion to alleviate loneliness and the mc would have something to rely on, the mc could analyze modern buildings and equipment and over time create similar environments in their dimension, since they are made of common things it shouldn't be difficult to reproduce or spend much dimensional energy, the first agreements would be made with magical students, alchemists, potion makers, this would allow them to have access to the mc dimension, and the advantages would be as follows, being able to control the flow of time, but without spending the lifespan, increase brain capacity, without having mental or physical fatigue, the mc's gain would be to have access to all the knowledge brought, even the discoveries, and the insights and understanding of these people, apart from of course the analysis of magic and special physiques of these beings, like even in humans, magic should alter the functioning of the bodies a little, and beings such as yokais, elves, dwarves and others could provide evolution after analysis to the mc's body, over time the mc in addition to personal strength could develop businesses such as selling potions and alchemical accessories, with that he would already have good power until he reached the part of Lala's story, and by making an agreement with her he could analyze her physique and study her scientific knowledge, becoming much stronger, until reach Ryas's part, he could make the deal with her, become her representative in the duel to end the engagement, and use the profit or certain formulas to increase the bet with Clam Fenix ​​and thus win Riser's peerage. see the story is almost the same as you are writing, but with logical and intelligent achievements through the mc's effort, without depending on gifts from the system or being enslaved by that system, the mc would be intelligent, wise and strong for himself and his efforts and evolution.

Dear author, I would suggest you change the story a little, create a small dimension and make him master of it, without a system, this dimension gives him the ability to analyze and convert, where he can analyze materials, abilities and even lineage, thus creating things similar or even evolve his own body, the difference is that this, in addition to requiring dimensional energy, would take time, and he could only analyze with beings that had contracts, the issue of the bar and access to other worlds and even the existence of contracts can be Explained as a characteristic of a dimensional lord, this would make the MC have to make an effort, train and use intelligence to obtain powers and things like that, and mainly have a slower and more realistic pace of evolution. And he would suffer many risks, which would give excitement to the journey, plus time to learn to master his powers, evolve his body, and understand why unlike other dimensional lords he would have a human body and not an energetic one, this would give potential but not to the to the point of making the story monotonous or without depth. To obtain energy for the dimension it can be similar to what you are doing, through contracts with beings with a strong destiny related to their worlds.

Roman cement is made with quicklime, volcanic ash and sea water, the mixture can be beach sand or clay, if I'm not mistaken depending on the mixture the effects can be different, as far as I know when using clay it can be made excellent bricks through burning and with excellent temperature resistance.

Chakra is not a force naturally found in people and nature, the right thing to do would be to tell the difference between an environment rich in natural energy and one with little or less pure energy.

Flaws observed so far, the mc achieves things like powers and abilities basically effortlessly, the system has the power to punish the mc, honestly it's childish or a bit naive as it has been written, in a way, perhaps one of the author's first attempts writing, my recommendations are to reduce the power of this system, especially on the mc, limit the power of the eyes, for example he has to spend a period of time copying a physique or ability, he has to train to master the abilities and physiques copied, like if he gained a Kryptonian physique he would have to gain strength from scratch and then train, these are simple things but they will make a big difference.