I love fantasy and the massive battles that come with it
2019-02-02 เข้าร่วมแล้ว United Kingdom
'why don't you just tell me' you missed the you
ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว
History · ZOA
made me smile. Acting like someone far older suddenly
Laughing at the childish behaviour of Lin Qin Chao Xing replied, "This is not a game, girl."
History · ZOA
check the wording here especially around the laid down part.
ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว
History · ZOA
i can feel the drama building..what a chapter
ch 18 First Riddle
History · ZOA
empress is the spelling... i did not see before, but it'll be best to check the spelling of the word in past uses of it.
ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว
History · ZOA
re read this chapter, and make sure the words flow. Eg 'The Empress wanted to...'
ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว
History · ZOA
Space between words is missing.
She gave her a sly smile which clearly showed that she won and Chao Xing lost. She was finally getting rid of her forever. Chao Xing gritted her teeth looking at her, she got up from the floor and went near her.
History · ZOA
I can not say what yet, if anything the chapter seems to say the same thing, or well a similar thing in to many ways. Confusing me as i read.
Some tears appeared in her eyes as she remembered her parents. Wiping her tears by herself she got up a little and then sat on the bed with her knees hugging her chest, her arms around her legs. She put her head on her knees as she asked her,"Would I ever be able to find a peaceful life?"
History · ZOA
Keep an eye on spacing, between punctation and the new word.
"Why did you take so much time coming here?" She angrily snapped at her.
History · ZOA
Capitals after speech, if the speech doesn't end in a commw
"Yes, Father?" the prince answered, turning his head to the side to behold his father.
Fantasy · BaeVida
Don't forget capitals and speech
"And I am not listening." He stood his ground, "get out of the way and I would not hurt you."
Fantasy · BaeVida
So i just read all three chapters(as far as the book goes currently)I'm enjoying myself a lot so far, a new world filled with the unknown, and the author is really showing that off.It is a really good book, so please do not stop writing it at all. I'll keep reading at my own pace, and once the novel has got around 40 or so chapters I'll review again.See you soon!